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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that sime homeowners regard themselves as superior to renters?

162 replies

malificent7 · 27/01/2018 12:39

Not all by any means but im a bit fed up of the 'well i work hard and lived off baked beans for 10 years.'
Well i work hard but cant save a penny as there isnt enough cash to stretch.
I find it hard to muster any enthusiasm when a friend shows me around the latest extension and starts talking about house values.
i just cannot relate.
Yes of course im envious but i made bad decisions when younger due to bad mental health issues.
I also feel like my ex friendship group split into homeowner/ non homeowner groups...maybe they have more in common although i do work longer hours....its just i dont live with a nain breadwinner atm.
Ive also been told by friends that i SHOULD get a mortgage...
I mean why SHOULD i if i cant afford it?
One friend said that homeowners take better care of their property...generalisation.

I feel sad as i find so many people money orientated..and snooty with it.

OP posts:
Peanutbuttercheese · 28/01/2018 03:00

People can show off with many things that indicate they possibly have money, housing is just another way of doing this. Personally I'm all for a bit of modesty.

Mummyoflittledragon · 28/01/2018 04:38

Bluntness
The days of rental payments exceeding mortgage payments is over. A house when I come from worth 260k gets a rent of about £850/£900. Yes the mortgage interest will be covered in that amount but not capital the repayment, maintenance costs, obligatory landlord checks, inventory costs, agency fees etc. Interest only mortgages are now prohibited for home owners. So yes, renting is now far cheaper than home ownership. And the days of landlords being able to offset interest payments is being phased out. I can see many more pulling out of the market in the next few years. Idk where all those tenants will go. Hopefully into shared ownership schemes, which do have their flaws. But at least people can start on the property ladder.

Mummyoflittledragon · 28/01/2018 04:41

AnElderlyLady
Thanks for the info. 👍 Luckily it was the company paying the eye watering 4 thousand euros. Not us. I was gobsmacked.

blackchina · 28/01/2018 06:36

@blue25

It's interesting to note the (slightly aggressive) posts from some renters apparently trying to prove that renting is better than owning. Most homeowners are just happy to have their own home and get on with life. It's often the renters who make it into an issue!

Oh, and I wonder why that IS?

Couldn't be anything to do with the fact that some people who are 'homeowners' think they are a cut above people who rent, like the renters are failures in life, and that they look down on them like they are something they just stepped in could it?!

Jesus fucking wept. Hmm

@LadyBoyXy is correct when they say that there is a certain smugness and air of superiority amongst some homebuyers, and this 'I am better than you' attitude, when all they have that I don't have, is fuck loads of debt, and a constant bill for repairs and maintenance that never ends. And as I was a homeowner for 18 years, (and have also rented privately and via social housing,) I am qualified to say all this.

bonkers

Being a home owner isn't great. Yes we have a small mortgage that will be paid off in a few year BUT we have a defunct boiler, dodgy wiring and a bathroom that leaks. We also have smashed windows with mould they need replacing.

@IfNot

Haha! I have LITERALLY had all of those things as a private renter, bar the smashed windows. Half my furniture got ruined because the landlord wouldn't get a damp proofing course and stop the mould caused by riding damp. Other stuff been ruined by leaks. I was told "claim it on your insurance"...even though my contents insurance has a 300 excess AND a 300 water damage charge.. (very usual these days).

I can't believe that you are making a comparison to the homeowner you quoted. You can just up and leave private let, whereas a homeowner with a property that is costing 10's of 1000's in repairs can't!!! And they will ALSO have excess on the insurance, but the difference is YOU don't have a bill for 1000's and 1000's for repairs, and YOU don't have to worry about forking out 2-3 grand if the boiler packs up, and YOU don't have to fork out multiple 1000's if the roof blows off etc etc etc....

I know a few people who have mortgages with only 5-8 years left, and are costing only 200-300 a month, but they are shitloads in debt (a few people as much as £35-50K,) because they have borrowed money over the years, (sometimes against the house,) to keep up with the repairs and maintenance on the house!

One couple I know paid off their mortgage in full in mid 2015, and have spent £25K on it since (via bank loans,) doing essential repairs on it, as nothing was done to it since the mid 1990's as they could never afford to do anything. So as a homeowner, it's never ending!

Many years ago (pre mid 1980's,) being a homeowner was fine, but since then, house prices have skyrocketed, repairs and maintenance costs have soared, wages are less than half what they were 40 years ago, and you can't do many jobs in the house yourself (even if you knew how!) because insurance won't pay out if something goes wrong with what you have 'repaired,'

Yep, I have been on all sides of the fence, and give me social housing any day. Lovely little home, nice area, great neighbours, less than £300 a month rent, all the repairs done (sometimes within several DAYS,) lots of surplus income, and no stress.

I am actually OK with the (few) homeowners on my street looking down their nose at me, as they trot off to the bank (in their 1997 vauxhall corsa,) for another loan to repair their roof, and put a new boiler in, whilst I trot off out to book our holiday to Canada, in our 2015 registered Toyota.

Who's being smug now? Oh yeah me...... So shoot me.

RockinRobinTweets · 28/01/2018 08:13

@blackchina

If every renter could get a council house in a great area they’d be all over it, if not for the long term then at least to save up to buy. In our area it’s very nearly impossible.

Our mortgage is £800/month, to rent would be £950/month. I don’t spend £150/month on maintenance

Frouby · 28/01/2018 08:38

Blackchina I agree with you! Have owned, private rented and now live in a lovely HA property. It's on a new build estate. My house is an eco friendly one and a higher spec eco wise than the owner occupied ones. My HA is brilliant. The repairs/maintenance team polite, respectful and efficient.

We wouldn't buy as dp is a builder and has had health issues so we couldn't afford to pay a mortgage if he was ill without me working full time and even then it would be a massive struggle.

We have a couple of 'friends' who are a bit snotty about us not owning. I really don't care what they think. And prefer our life to theirs. One woman is particularly up herself and once pointed out at a mutual friends house that I would leave my dcs with nothing if we didn't buy a house for them to inherit.

I pointed out that as it stands it's possible her dcs would be left with very little if we all have to fund our own social care if we ever need it. And that my dcs would benefit now from our spare cash and time instead of both parents working a 50 hour week to overpay on the mortgage and keep up with the Jones's.

It would be nice to own this house. But it's nice to sleep at night without worrying about the mortgage or interest rates rising or repair bills or childcare in the holidays.

The last house dp owned was repossessed in the early 90s. I wasn't around then but it literally tore him apart. He ended up divorced, on ADs and lost his relationship with his 2 dcs. His ex made it impossible for him to maintain a relationship with the them (another thread) and he was a broken man.

I think about how fortunate we are every time I come home. In an ideal world we would own this place mortgage free. But it's not an ideal world so I own my home but not the house. It's mine to do what I want with while I live here. No one can evict me. If dp can't work then we would get help with the rent until we were back on our feet. A ft nmw job for me would cover things. We are as safe as we can be at this moment in time. Owning a mortgaged property would put us at greater financial risk.

And my dcs have me at home (I wfh doing the business admin) until either the shit hits the fan for dp or until they are old enough to not need childcare.

Youngmystery · 28/01/2018 08:45

People have learnt to not question me about renting vs home owning. When they do, I just go 'cool you got 10k I can borrow for a deposit cause I don't have it'. Tends to shut them up as most didn't have to pay such a huge deposit.

maddiemookins16mum · 28/01/2018 09:07

A friend of mine blatantly looked down on me (especially as I was older) when she bought her first flat and I was 'still' renting.

What she conveniently overlooked was the 20K help she got from her parents.

She say stuff like

'Oh are you allowed to have people to dinner?'

'Does you LL let you have a Christmas Tree?'

The very phrase 'climbing the property ladder' indicates you are raising yourself higher when it comes to your home, renters can't do that and many feel 'lower' than homeowners.

Bluntness100 · 28/01/2018 10:22

Gosh, there are some really aggressive posts on here and they are from the people who rent, I really don't understand the need for aggression or the clear attempts to put down home owners. It's the complete opposite of the thread title, although I guess the op is also doing that.

I own, my father lives in social housing, as I did as a child, I know no one who looks down on renters and I know no renters who are aggressive or angry about the fact they rent and try to put down home owners. I'd say I know a lot of people from both sides of the spectrum and I genuinely don't see this anger in real life.

My experience in general is your friends don't give a shit and people don't spend their days being angry and comparing themselves to others. This thread is showing me otherwise.

Cake20189 · 28/01/2018 10:42

Bluntness100 Its jealousy, they are projecting their own insecurities on home owners. Home owners don’t give a fuck who rents/owns/lives at home with thier mums etc... we all have different lives and different reasons for owning/renting etc

DeleteOrDecay · 28/01/2018 12:42

*Oh are you allowed to have people to dinner?'

'Does you LL let you have a Christmas Tree?'*

That's hilariousGrin I hope you indulged her silly questions.

blackchina · 28/01/2018 13:22

Oh do get over yourself @bluntness100 and @cake20189, no-one is being aggressive! Hmm Views that don't coincide with yours are not aggressive. You sound a bit pathetic saying that tbh.

Sorry to break it to ya, but many people who rent are not 'jealous' of people who are buying. What the fuck is there to be jealous about? A mortgage round your neck til you die, constant repairs and maintenance bills, (often running into multiple 1000's,) constantly worried about losing your job, or having time off and having a low pay month and not being able to make ends meet, shuddering when you hear the boiler and heating system popping and grinding, cringing when there's a storm, (as you don't know WHAT damage will be done and if the insurance will cover it,) and not being able to move so easily if you have rotten neighbours. (And as I said earlier, I have had much worse neighbours in the 18 years I was a homeowner, than in the 10-12 years I have been renting.)

Now just pipe down with the 'people are sooooo jealous of me bollocks.' No-one is. And no-one is being aggressive. Defensive maybe, as you do get like that with the attitudes of the snotty oh-so-superior people around you, who think they are a better person coz they have a massive mortgage round their neck...

As a poster above said, I would rather have MY life than theirs.

And yes, I KNOW not everyone can get social housing, and I never said otherwise. I am just saying that me and DH have never been so happy since we secured social housing, and we have never been so stress free, and we have never been so financially well-off.

We would never buy again for all the sand in the Sahara!

Chienrouge · 28/01/2018 14:32

Views that don't coincide with yours are not aggressive

This made me laugh. It’s not your views that are aggressive, it’s your language and your posting style.

blackchina · 28/01/2018 14:34

Glad to have amused you @cheinrouge

You are very easily pleased aren't you? Bless...... Grin

Shame 'your posting style is so aggressive' is all you've got.

As you were hun.

Chienrouge · 28/01/2018 14:41

Yes, completely simple minded, me. Bless.

minionsrule · 28/01/2018 14:57

Ex renter here.... just bought but DH and I privately rented for 12 years on a street that was mostly owners..... in a very 'nose in the air' town.
About 6 months after moving in a parcel was delivered whilst we were at work and NDN refused to take it in as, in his words, they only rent.
Now don't ask me what this had to do with anything but he actually sent the courier to my work place, it was only 5 mins down the road.
I was so confused why he rurned up at work or how he knew where i worked so he told me what the neighbour had said.
He was just a snobby twat though who still has his house on the market 2 years after putting it on thereGrin

Bluntness100 · 28/01/2018 15:10

What the fuck is there to be jealous about? A mortgage round your neck til you die, constant repairs and maintenance bills, (often running into multiple 1000's,) constantly worried about losing your job, or having time off and having a low pay month and not being able to make ends meet, shuddering when you hear the boiler and heating system popping and grinding, cringing when there's a storm, (as you don't know WHAT damage will be done and if the insurance will cover it,) and not being able to move so easily if you have rotten neighbours

I don't really understand this, I know of no one who has a mortgage till anticipated death, normally it's retirement age, if not well before. I don't spend my days worrying about losing my job and I'm salaried, so I do not lose pay for a day off. Very few properties need constant repairs totalling multiple thousands. In fact replace a boiler that's prob it for the next 15 years.

I think we get you had a bad time buying and couldn't afford it, but you can't genuinely think that everyone who owns a home can't afford it and is skint due to it and lives in constant fear?

You say I know " amazing people" because we can afford our own homes, but I don't think I do, we are all normal people. Not amazing at all. It is really very common for people who own their own homes to be able to afford them. It is not the exception to the rule when you look across the home owner demographic.

Cavelady67 · 28/01/2018 15:18

I know what you mean about homeowners thinking they're superior, there's a lot of it round here.

Property prices are astronomical where I live, especially when compared to average earnings in the area. People are overcomitting themselves in order to get on the property ladder - the number of people I know who complain about the cost of their enormous mortgages..... 🙄

I guess people think owning is more secure than renting. In a way it is, but you don't actually own the property until you've paid off the mortgage do you. And you're responsible for the cost of maintaining the building aswell. So if you're already overstretched in your mortgage you're going to struggle.

Cake20189 · 28/01/2018 16:10

@blackchina Gosh you’re a bit grumpy aren’t you 😂 I don’t worry about any of the things you mentioned. Owning my own home is a dream thanks 😁

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 28/01/2018 16:56

Wtf is up with you, blackchina? Confused. Just as nobody thinks they're a "better person" because they own rather than rent; not everyone who owns has a massive mortgage round their neck...
Why is paying a mortgage (of whatever size) so much more onerous than having to pay rent? Until you own outright there's a cost to housing of one sort or another. And when your mortgage ends, you don't have a rent bill.
But that has no bearing whatsoever on personal worth; you just have a massive chip on your shoulder for some reason.

HelenaDove · 28/01/2018 17:02

Every time a renter posts on here about a repair they need doing a homeowner jumps on and says that they are lucky as they get their repairs done for free. The same was said to the Grenfell residents about their cladding both before and after the tragedy.

PoorYorick · 28/01/2018 17:10

People on MN said that Grenfell Tower residents were lucky???

HelenaDove · 28/01/2018 17:12

Yorick not just MN Its the whole attitude to tenants. Thats why Shelter has set up a social housing commision,

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