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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want this stopped?!

387 replies

Notasperfectasallothermners · 26/01/2018 10:57

Dd started secondary school in September. Loves it, really settled well - no worries regarding peers /work etc. However, had an issue with food tech last week where dd (vegi entire life) was given pre measured out ingredients to make biscuits, as dd didnt know what lard was she used it and brought the biscuits home. All dc sat and ate them, will admit they were nice! Until she mentioned lard and Googled it herself. Not a happy dd! Told her things happen and not to worry, not lovely to drop down in a heap this once sort of thing.
Rang the school to remind them she is vegi etc, mistakes happen - don't expect head on a platter etc...
Then yesterday she gets home, salad wrap for lunch, server wearing gloves to handle ingredients makes hers - after handling ham to the previous dc in the line! Rang school again, they will be speaking to the caterers today. Fed up. Sad

OP posts:
taskmaster · 27/01/2018 16:01

it's either, since it's not actually a word.

HolyShet · 27/01/2018 17:06

We've all got at least one "vegetarian" friend who will scarf a kebab if they're drunk or suspends their vegetarianism for Christmas dinner. Or who eats gelatin/rennet etc. I think that is why there is so much vegetarian bashing on here.

As I've said before I am Team Tongs on this, it would obvs be better but there is no "contamination", on hygiene or ethical grounds there's no logic to being so terribly upset that you'd waste otherwise perfectly good food.

Idontdowindows · 27/01/2018 17:30

I did have one vegetarian friend who ate fish because she said fish weren't animals and I was slightly surprised to learn that ;)

Still, she didn't even eat fish all that much because it was hard to find ethically sourced fish.

Anyhoo, Team Tongs all the way, even as a meat eater I can see why meat touching the vegetarian food may be upsetting to vegetarians.

lindyloo57 · 27/01/2018 17:34

This happened to us on holiday in majorca, lady made a chicken sandwich and with same gloved hand still with bits of chicken on it, put her hand in the container full of chesse to make my sandwich, i tried to explain that i could not eat it, in the end we just walked out, i don't speek spanish and she no english

ahhhhhwoof · 27/01/2018 17:41

I’m vegan and think YABU. You can’t live your life like that I’m afraid especially when you are 12. I would be upset about the lard but the ham thing is silly. She didn’t eat actual ham I presume?

ObscuredbyFog · 27/01/2018 17:52

Team Tongs here too, no contaminated veg or veg cheese for me either thanks.

Teeniemiff · 27/01/2018 17:58

I don’t think YABU at all.
Cross contamination is a very basic concept.
I notice when I’m in subway they do this- sometimes ask if you want the glove changed but a person handles a big block of Salami for example, puts down what they don’t need then hand goes into the cheese. Then next person whose gloves have been changed for a veggie, picks up the same cheese (slightly off topic as were not talking about subway but always annoys me).
I’m not a veggie but I could still grasp a simple concept such as cross contamination.
As for the lard, that’s worse as she directly consumed it but accidents do happen, it’s lucky it’s not an allergy. It’s always good to remind them of this though because if a child was allergic cross contamination would be a problem.

IamClaire · 27/01/2018 18:17

Op you told her she wasn't going to drop down in heap from eating lard this once? Wouldn't it have been better to tell her it definitely wouldn't do her any physical harm as there is no physical reason she can't eat meat?
Apologies if I've misunderstood what you meant by the comment it just seemed that how it was written had the implication that there might be some physical harm involved but because it was a little lard as a one of it was ok.

kitchensinkmum · 27/01/2018 18:22

Why are the school using Lard as an ingredient anyway? Aren't they supposed to be taught a healthier way to cook food? The world is changing and becoming more health conscious . Nobody would want to eat lard surely. I'm with you OP. With vegetarianism and veganism growing exponentially the school should be more in tune and more inclusive

Ladylisa · 27/01/2018 18:23

I thought vegetarians didn’t eat meat and vegans no animal products??
I think you’re being a bit precious tbh

pollymere · 27/01/2018 18:24

I use vegetable lard when I bake. I'd be surprised if a school would use an animal based one for religious reasons as well as lifestyle ones.

MyHeartIsInHavana · 27/01/2018 18:28

YANBU

She's a vegetarian. Her beliefs are that meat is murder.

If someone was fed food that their religion dictated they couldn't eat without their knowledge, there would be outrage.

This is worse because her beliefs are based on fact not the opinion expressed in a dusty old book.

And if the school caterers are cross contaminating so obviously in this instance, what hygiene rules are they breaking out of sight?!

I would be enraged.

taskmaster · 27/01/2018 18:33

I use vegetable lard when I bake

No you don't. It doesn't (and can't) exist.

abilockhart · 27/01/2018 18:37

While I do agree that the school's practice is not ideal, no one forced her to eat the sandwich.

Your DD is now at an age where she needs to take responsibility for herself. If the cross-contamination really bothers her (and I can see why it does), she should make her own sandwich and bring it to school. She also needs to double-check what ingredients she is using in food tech.

PurplePenguins · 27/01/2018 19:06

I get the lard but are you sure it wasnt vegetarian lard? As for the ham, I don't work in a school kitchen but do see how hard they work to get 400+ students fed in 90 minutes. There are over 100 allergy cards up in the kitchen (the child wears a allergy card as a precaution too). All the staff are just human and it could have just been a mistake. She forgot in the rush. Did she tell them she was vegetarian and not someone who fancied a salad wrap?

ChasedByBees · 27/01/2018 19:15

Why is mumsnet so hostile to vegetarians? Hmm

taskmaster · 27/01/2018 19:21

Its not. Also MN can't be anything to anyone, its made up of thousands of people with different opinions. Hmm

JLo1979 · 27/01/2018 19:29

I don’t eat butter, vomit if I taste it. If in a cafe/deli, I request the person change their gloves and wash board and knife. Eyes are usually thrown up to heaven but it’s done. I don’t see any reason why a 12 year old cannot speak up and request same, and if my dc came home telling me this story I would advise them to speak up but I would not be doing the speaking for them. Sorry op.

Loyaultemelie · 27/01/2018 19:37

I am a veggie and it's not a lifestyle choice I'm physically ill from anything that contains poultry, meat fish or crustaceans. I can have certain types of dairy. I have some friends who are vegan and some who are veggie by choice and many friends and family who are not but I really think that the op is not being one bit precious about the gloves. In this case I would have been violently ill if I hadn't seen what happened and been able to speak up but I really don't think it's fair to criticise people's reasons for eating what they do.
As for the lard 🤢

taskmaster · 27/01/2018 19:44

violently from the tiniest trace of ham brine? I find that very hard to believe.

FaveNumberIs2 · 27/01/2018 20:23

Lard in biscuits?

Strongmummy · 27/01/2018 20:38

Sorry, rolled my eyes at this. Altho, definite point re allergies and religious observance. Therefore the school needs to ensure it doesn’t happen again for those reasons. Also, your daughter needs to learn to speak up if her principles are so strong.

Nimmykins · 27/01/2018 22:31

I always ask a sandwich maker to use fresh gloves. I've been veggie for 30 years, vegan a year. If I eat something that's been in contact with meat I am physically ill. I don't even need to know. I can guarantee if they have touched within two hours I have diarrhoea.

People can become intolerant, so it is an issue.

Abbylee · 27/01/2018 23:10

Have you ever worked in food service?? You are bu but not only that, you are naive. If you want a special sandwich with saliva from 4 food workers, keep it up. Complaining even once is gonna be a risk. They do not care, will not care and will spit in your dd's food at the very least.

I have worked with people who would smear ham all over the salad then smile and hand over the seemingly perfect veg sandwich; Just because you complained.

Food service is mostly a low skill, low pay job. My ds accidentally picked up an apple from the wrong bin and it was taken from him and thrown away bc he had already taken a bite from it. I have endless horror stories as my whole family has worked in food service at some point.
Food service workers (many) in every branch of food service industry are too busy (and grouchy) to keep salad away from meat on serving trays, while making wraps, storing them in coolers.

I'm not sure why you are specifically opposed to proximity to meat, but unless you grow your own, i guarantee that it's been touched by meat or meaty hands at least a few times; wholesale distributor, commercial distributors, transport, cooler, preparer, server.
You live in the real world and there is meat in it. If you eat chips, they may have been cooked in oil which also fried chicken or fish.

pinkmagic1 · 27/01/2018 23:24

I would be shocked if the school had used proper lard to make biscuits. I bet it was something like trex.