Should we be providing an evening meal?

[spiritofadventure]

My DP and I are getting married in a few months - it will be a low key affair, with 20 of our closest friends as guests.

Sunday wedding in a hotel in York - bacon sandwiches & bucks fizz on arrival (asking guests to be there 1 hour before ceremony for photographs), champagne and canapés for 1 hour after ceremony then a 4 course Sunday Lunch.

After this, guests are free to go home or join us for drinks in the city.

We're paying for hotel rooms for anyone who wants to stay the night.

Should we be organising food for the evening for those that stay? Was thinking we could just grab setching whilst out having drinks or order room service at the hotel??

^something not 'setching' 😂

For me it would depend if it was easy to get cheaper food elsewhere other than the hotel which may be costly.

You need to make it clear on the invitations but no I would not expect it.

I wouldn't. I doubt anyone would want much after the sandwiches canapés and 4 course lunch. Enjoy your day

I think that no, you do not have to provide/pay for an evening meal in this set-up and I don't think any of your guests would expect it. If your invitations are crystal clear then there should be no confusion. You're also already providing LOTS of food - the best kind of wedding, IMO!

Congratulations on your wedding, and hope you have a lovely day.

If you can afford it, I think a meal together in the evening would be a lovely way to finish things off, and I suspect you'll enjoy it being a long-ish day because you'll all be so happy.

But you're giving them loads of food, so just drinks would be fine.

In York there are loads of places we could eat whilst out and about. We would cover the cost of evening room service for our guests that stayed overnight.

I think you are already being very generous. Especially paying for hotel rooms for the guests. No need to pay for the evening meal in the city or the evening drinks. I certainly wouldn't expect it.

I wouldnt expect any more - no, but do make it clear anyway so your guests can plan

congratulations

Sounds like you are going above & beyond in keeping everyone happy.

If they want food later, they can grab there own

No I don't think you need to. It's pretty generous to pay for hotel rooms and they will be getting a big lunch.

We're not really 'weddingy' people, so the focus of the day will really be lovely food, lots of drinks and happy memories with our favourite people - there will just be a quick 15 minute ceremony thrown in there 😂

We will be covering the full cost of the day - all food, drinks during meal and evening and hotel rooms for those that want to stay.

We just want a lovely, stress free day for ourselves and our friends.

It sounds amazing and very generous of you. Don't worry about an evening meal. Enjoy your day

What you're doing sounds lovely and more than enough. As your guest I wouldn't expect you to pay for a meal in the evening.

Hope you have a fabulous day!

No, no need to provide an evening meal as well as a four-course lunch, sandwiches and canapes.

I agree that the evening food isn't your responsibility if the official wedding party proper finishes in the afternoon. Even if someone paid for my hotel room I would expect to pay for room service or similar. Is the hotel relatively central so they can easily get a kebab find a choice of restaurants? Might handhold them a bit more if it isn't in the city itself.

It sounds like a blast!!

Our hotel is very central, everything is in walking distance.

Out of all our guests, I think only 4 people are not planning to stay the night so if we decide to have an evening meal, we would need to pre book somewhere for our group.

I don't think you need to pay for an evening meal if you're forking out for a 4 course Sunday lunch. I don't think people expect more than one meal in association with a wedding! Unless they are cheeky fuckers, of course - I know of one woman who tried to convince the bride that she 'owed' her an evening meal two days beforehand!!

I think not providing a set evening meal is the right thing to do - you'll all have had a long, lovely day, and that leaves the people who will stay over the freedom to join you for drinks if they want, or just collapse in their rooms, without the pressure of another set occasion.

May I ask (for curiosity's sake) why you are doing canapes before the lunch instead of just going straight in?

Oh, and you sound very generous, OP! That's lovely.

I think with it being a Sunday wedding your plan is a good one.

What time is the wedding? If "lunch" is 3/4 pm then it should be enough.

Nah, you're already providing a meal for them

"We just want a lovely, stress free day for ourselves and our friends."

Your wedding day sounds fantastic! Can I come?

I would play it by ear. Informally, tell your guests that if they are joining you all in the city for drinks, then you will order food out somewhere if and when everyone's hungry, but if they instead prefer a room service snack when back at the hotel, they should put that on your bill.

Sounds so good, so flexible and so generous ... well planned, spiritofadventure!!!

I think you are being very generous indeed. As long as the invites make clear that people are invited to the early part of the day but then basically 'let go' and can just join you later if they like, I don't see the problem.

I think the bacon sandwiches on arrival is inspired! I've so often found myself stuck and starving at a wedding because the timings are often weird, especially when you've travelled.

Have a wonderful day.

I would change the bacon sandwiches on arrival and serves them in the evening instead.