Should we be providing an evening meal?

[spiritofadventure]

My DP and I are getting married in a few months - it will be a low key affair, with 20 of our closest friends as guests.

Sunday wedding in a hotel in York - bacon sandwiches & bucks fizz on arrival (asking guests to be there 1 hour before ceremony for photographs), champagne and canapés for 1 hour after ceremony then a 4 course Sunday Lunch.

After this, guests are free to go home or join us for drinks in the city.

We're paying for hotel rooms for anyone who wants to stay the night.

Should we be organising food for the evening for those that stay? Was thinking we could just grab setching whilst out having drinks or order room service at the hotel??

Personally I wouldn't offer to pay for the room service either way though. Both because lovely friends might worry about the cost to you and not order when they'd actually like to, and cfs (hopefully you don't have any!) can easily take the piss.

No! Maybe you could shout them a kebab if they're hungry and pissed. Sounds lovely.

perhaps arrange a light snack/tapas type thing at one of the bars you're planning on going to - lots will happily do this, it would cost a lot less than room service and is more sociable

Superb idea, Needmoresleep

Like you I'd hope nobody would turn out to be a CF, but with OP already being so generous - some might even say over generous - I really would want to avoid any "misunderstandings" over the room service thing

It makes such a change to read about a wedding that sounds fun to go to! You sound like a lovely couple who have arranged a brilliant day. Very generous, very relaxed and just perfect!

We didn’t want a fuss and got married abroad - but got coerced into a big family do on our return..hideous, expensive and we cringed at spending so much money on (most) people we didn’t ever mix with normally. With hindsight, we should have done it exactly as you are! A good knees up with our friends and a quickie ceremony chucked in the middle!

Hope it all goes well and congratulations!

Good god, if I were your guest I’d want to buy you dinner in the evening - I most certainly would not be expecting you to pay for mine! It’d be champagne on me if I were attending!

Your day sounds just wonderful, enjoy it.

No-one is going to want a second meal after a four course lunch finishing at 4. They will want kebabs at midnight though but doesn't sound like that will be a problem!

Sounds like a wonderful wedding day, enjoy yourselves.

perhaps arrange a light snack/tapas type thing at one of the bars you're planning on going to - lots will happily do this, it would cost a lot less than room service and is more sociable

That's exactly what I was going to suggest! If you have had a big Sunday lunch, people probably won't want a big meal, but tapas in a bar would be (1) informal, (2) opportunity for people to mingle and chat and (3) fairly flexible, so you can see how hungry people are on the day and what the fancy eating

perhaps arrange a light snack/tapas type thing at one of the bars you're planning on going to - lots will happily do this, it would cost a lot less than room service and is more sociable

That's exactly what I was going to suggest!. I think this would be (1) informal, so people can mingle and (2) flexible in terms of how much food to order, so you can see how hungry people are on the day

I think that you should just tell them to order room service if they want it and charge it to the room. They won't be hungry and you wouldn't have wasted food.

No, what you are already doing, is enough, I don't think it warrants an evening meal. For most people, a snack will be enough, they'll carry on drinking, if they're staying over, or get something to take back to the room. It sounds great ! 😄

No! Maybe you could shout them a kebab if they're hungry and pissed. Sounds lovely.
^

This sounds like a good idea

No, sounds lovely!

My ds had bacon rolls

It sounds really lovely but I really wouldn't be paying for room service for anyone. You've gone way beyond what's necessary in paying for the hotel room - that is really generous. It would only take one person to take advantage of free (expensive) room service for you to be left feeling really cheated.

Personally I couldn't eat all of what you're already providing in one day (and I'm a big girl!). The bacon sandwich alone would put me off the Sunday lunch.... After eating something like that, I don't get hungry for another 4/5/6 hours.... Just a thought to consider. Even a couple of Canapés would affect my appetite x

Absolutely not.

You have already paid for enough and TBH I wouldn't expect the bacon sandwiches on arrival so they would be a bonus, if by any chance I was starving in the evening there are 100s of easily accessible places to eat in York or grab a snack.

In fact if I was invited and people mutually agreed to eat at the time I would be happy to pay for the bride and groom as post wedding treat.

After a four course lunch I don't think anyone will want or expect another sit down meal. In fact most people won't need another meal at all.

Maybe your drinks in the city could take in a bar where those that want could get snacks or a very light meal.

I wouldn’t. But I can you let people know you won’t be feeding them? Maybe organise something together. Perhaps do a plan a. Plan b. And a cost per head?

Your wedding sounds lovely and you're being more than generous. There's food on offer in the morning and also a substantial lunch, so I wouldn't think anyone will be that hungry. Just point out it what is included and that you'll just be having drinks in the evening. If anyone wants a snack they can always order a litebite themselves.

This sounds like the perfect wedding. I think I'm free that day if you need one more guest

Sounds wonderful! I don’t think you need to provide evening food. You are being very generous and I’m sure after bacon butties, canapés and a four course lunch people won’t need much in the evening. Have a fab day to remember 🥂🍾

Thank you so much everyone!

I'm so excited...not long now!! 😊

They will want to eat at someone point and they may feel a bit rude slipping off from the group to go to the takeaway because they are hungry. Most people will want to follow your lead on your wedding day so it's good to have it planned.

I know you don't care what I think, as I don't even live in the UK, but that wedding sounds absolutely wonderful! Fairly low key, incredibly enjoyable and exactly what you want.

York (along with Dubrovnik and Bruges) is one of my favourite places on earth. I can't think of a place that I would prefer for a wedding.

If I were you, it sounds like the evening you just want to go with the flow so you could just order some platters/share food at certain points but it sounds just like a night out so if I were on a night like that if either sort myself out or offer to buy a few for the tables as a treat for bride and groom for hosting especially paying for the hotel.