How old for social media?

[Acloserlook]

My child is y6, is this too young for Fb?

My son is in Year 6 and there is no way he's having FB. If he tells me his friends have it then I look them up and report the account. And no I'm not sorry for that. And as for the I don't want them left out brigade Id rather facilitate my child seeing their friends in other ways than allow social media!!

OP asked how do you control if they set up their own account - well in answer to that I check all our electronics regularly and my children have been raised to respect that when I say no that's what I mean. You're not their friend you're their parent.

DS1 is 12 and Y7 and doesn't have any SM yet as it's never come up in conversation. He's very sporty and active so doesn't spend much time online aside from the occasional xbox live session when his mates are over. He has an iPhone 6 with whatsapp on and messages his mates but rarely actually checks his phone when he's in the house.

When he asks I think we'll say yes to Facebook or Instagram with provisos that he adheres to our usual family expectations; a hint of twattery and he'll lose access. He's not much of a twat generally, though, so hopefully he'll be fine.

The odd thing for me is that DS2 is entirely different; he's 7 so has grown up with far more technology than DS1 from the moment he was born and since MIL bought him an iPod touch for Christmas he has become obsessed with the thing. To the point where we have a timer and limit the access he has. Out of the two of them I think DS2's use of and attitude to SM and technology will be entirely different to DS1's, yet there's only 5 years between them.

Personally I won't let mine have social media until 15/16. There needs to be a level of maturity present. The behaviour I've seen from fully grown adults on there means there's not a chance I'm e posing my young impressionable teen to it.

www.waituntil8th.org/

I really like this idea. It works by parents across a whole neighbourhood committing to not giving their children smartphones until they're in 8th grade/year 8. If you can keep a critical mass of children without social media, the issue of being left out disappears. They can still have dumb phones for making contact with parents etc.

In all honesty I struggle to see why sm is seen as such a bad thing, is it because of worries about paedophiles?

I think the issue of adults grooming children in order to abuse them, whilst ultimately severely damaging, is less likely to occur than the slow erosion of self-worth, the FOMO, the increased anxiety, the insidious bullying, the increasingly shallow nature of young people's interaction with one another that is being hastened by them using social media from a young age.

bridget that's really interesting. Has anyone signed up to this in the UK?

Dancergirl, I have.

Good idea bridget. I think that would be Y9 in the UK (?)

I think it's Year 7 in the UK? I might be wrong though.

viley can you tell me how this works in practice? Do you get the school on board or is it something a group of parents agree on?

My DDs (13+14) have no interest in FB - apparently no-one under 16 has it I let them set up Instagram and snapchat accounts at the summer between year 6 and year 7, so they could add all their primary school friends to help stay in contact. Their phones stay downstairs at night and I have the password so can access everything, and I made myself my own accounts to follow/add them on both.

In England, year 6 definitely isn’t unusual, despite the official age limit, so I don’t think you’d be unreasonable either way. Just make sure you monitor it properly and it can be totally harmless.

Mine have had FB since they were 10 or 11. Carefully monitored, with tight security settings.
They love being able to talk to our relatives who live quite a distance away.
Not had a problem really in truth.

I don't think anyone has it here dancergirl but I signed anyway and have sent link onto school.

In all honesty I struggle to see why sm is seen as such a bad thing, is it because of worries about paedophiles?

I think you need to read up on the issues with SM and young people, but just a few issues besides paedophiles like bullying, damage to self esteem, issues with posting inappropriate comments or pictures, peer pressure, addiction to SM, having to be present online all the time, constant distraction from schoolwork or disengagement from family.....oh and the arguments!

Bridgetreilly ds didn't get a smartphone til he was 16 and going to the UK for sixth form. It's difficult at times to talk to him when he's home as he's glued to the frigging thing, either listening to music, and so oblivious to the rest of the planet, or looking at FB etc. I did think by 22 he'd have grown out of it.

Just make sure you monitor it properly and it can be totally harmless

I think a lot of the risks can be 'hidden'. Even if it appears that there are no problems with children having SM, the impact on children's mental health is very real as outlined in the waittill8th link above.

viley how can you sign up without putting a US state down?

In all honesty I struggle to see why sm is seen as such a bad thing, is it because of worries about paedophiles? YES

Have a read of this case that was in the Irish courts last week. The online social media world is not safe. It has thrown up a massive debate over here on the question of when is it safe for a child to have access to social media, smart phones etc. The consensus here seems to be 14. Germany and France I think are 16.

www.irishtimes.com/news/crime-and-law/horan-jailed-for-coercing-girls-to-send-sexually-graphic-pictures-1.3369523

Strange that it’s the parents at DDs primary that were a bit sniffy about people taking pictures or videos of nativities or assemblies that have now allowed their DC on SM at age 10/11

I still don't think it's a good idea to let your child sign up if they are officially too young. It's not really setting a good example for when they're older and might think it's OK to do other things they are not old enough to do.

I have two daughters and it's a really difficult decision to make. There's a pressure of their friends being online and they will be thinking why they are not allowed. This could lead to bigger problems like bullying. What we did was that we had a rule and agree on not posting their personal information online.

Only talk to genuine friends and family. I have their login details. They are too young to have Facebook anyway, as a family we also use inLinx as a social network, it's family friendly with the 'treat as' function you can separate your audience which is different from other social network. They take the user privacy seriously meaning there will be no digital footprint for people to find out what you and your children have posted

Snapchat is blocked here, instagram is ok, they don't want Facebook though their friends have it.

@lauren2411 if you think there is no digital footprint then you are being naive. There is always a digital trail of someone wanted to find it badly enough.