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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I'm not starving my wedding guests.

450 replies

MBlaze · 24/01/2018 20:04

Helpful Mumsnetters, please let me know if this is enough food for a wedding. I think it's more than enough, but DP thinks we need to add more food!

Timings are approximate...

2pm - Ceremony
3pm-5pm - Crepe or ice cream van, canapes (3 each) and drinks
6pm - 3 Course dinner (Vegan and Gluten-free options so nobody should go hungry.)
7ish? - Cake after dinner
9pm - Cheese board with bread, crackers, grapes, figs etc

Surely that's enough food considering the ceremony is at 2 and people can have breakfast beforehand?

DP thinks we should provide more than a cheeseboard after dinner and should hire a fish and chip/burrito van or ask the caterers for something more substantial. We aren't having any evening only guests, so I really don't think people will need another meal 3 hours after a 3 course meal.

What do you think?

OP posts:
SAMlady · 25/01/2018 00:59

Depending on number of guests your three course meal will take longer than an hour so I'd say another substantial evening food isn't needed. Check the timings with your caterer.

I'd agree to do more at 3, like a lunch

GottadoitGottadoit · 25/01/2018 01:16

So what if you & your partner are veggie, you should be catering to your guests & do bacon sandwiches

What a weird thing to say Grin

I eat meat but wouldn't think twice to only be served veggie food.

Original poster
MBlaze · 25/01/2018 07:52

Octonaught -

Wow. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and I have taken many from this thread on board, but your comment is just rude Confused

If you'd have read my comments you'd see that I'm not veggie. My guests will be having meat for their dinner if they want it. I don't want to serve bacon butties as I don't eat pork, DP doesn't eat meat and I can't eat the bread. I'm sure people will survive having something else. But ultimately, if we were both veggie, it's our wedding so we can serve whatever we want Hmm

OP posts:
Gwenhwyfar · 25/01/2018 08:11

"People will not have had lunch"

Why won't they have had lunch? If I'm going to something at 2pm, I'll eat first. If I'm travelling I'll buy a sandwich at the train station. Average lunch time is about 1pm.

iBiscuit · 25/01/2018 08:34

Assuming the ice cream and the crepe vendors are separate, combined with a bar and lawn games, no one thing will be attending to all 100 guests simultaneously.

Unless they all move around in a single herd Confused

Honestly, the timings are fine.

TatianaLarina · 25/01/2018 09:20

From going to 5 weddings in the last year, being a wedding obsessive plus getting married myself a couple of years ago PLEASE consider reducing the time between the ceremony and the sit down meal. Guests WILL get bored. Max two hours between ceremony start time and the sit down meal.

This. Totally agree. Maximum of 2 hours between ceremony and meal, otherwise a) it’s so boring b) people will fill up on whatever food is on offer out of boredom and then not have room for the meal.

Aridane · 25/01/2018 09:24

Fuck me - MBlaze, I don't know why so many people are pissing on your (wedding) chips. It sounds great, plenty of food. (And I don't know what the obsession is with fish and chip cones...).

Have a wonderful day!

rightsaidfrederickII · 25/01/2018 09:26

How far are your guests travelling? Don't forget that if they've had to set off at 10 or whatever they won't have had a chance to eat lunch at home and may think that will have been accounted for in the food schedule if you don't tell them otherwise.

I got caught out by the same thing at a conference recently. I was not best pleased as there was nowhere to get food and only a cup of tea provided, so I missed lunch entirely.

Delatron · 25/01/2018 09:30

If they haven't eaten by 2pm then more fool them. It's clear on the invite that they won't be eating until after the ceremony so any sane person would have a big brunch type affair, or grab a sandwich on the way if travelling.

OP it sounds great, there's loads of food. This thread is very strange. Most people normally eat breakfast, lunch (quite often just a sandwich and then dinner at say 8pm?

You go to a wedding and suddenly you can't possibly survive on crepes and canapés and a 3 course meal and cheese etc etc. From 3pm until 6pm?!

Bet you wish you'd never posted OP. I think it sounds great.

Veterinari · 25/01/2018 09:31

”People will not have had lunch"

Why won't they have had lunch? If I'm going to something at 2pm, I'll eat first. If I'm travelling I'll buy a sandwich at the train station. Average lunch time is about 1pm.

Because most weddings that I go to are some distance away and require a long drive, so breakfast, drive, arrive, check in, shower, change, wedding!

There’s often no time for lunch

Original poster
MBlaze · 25/01/2018 09:50

Aridane and Delatron - Thanks! I am a bit Confused at some of the responses but since it's AIBU I expected to have a variety of opinions, and some harsh ones at that.

rightsaidfrederickII - not very far. We are getting married 7 miles from our hometown. DP and I are both from the same city (met at sixth form) so both families live in the area and 90% of friends do too. Have family coming from around the world, but they won't be travelling on the day Grin

OP posts:
specialsubject · 25/01/2018 10:32

Now that's important - its a down the road wedding not a major performance with hotels etc. Day visitors can grab an early lunch and still be ready by 1.30.

Still not sure what the lengthy afternoon hang around is but at least they won't have had a long journey before.

LaurieMarlow · 25/01/2018 10:35

Apologies if this has been clarified earlier in the thread, but are the service and reception in the same venue? Because if not, there's no need for people to rush there for 3pm, they can take their time and grab some food on the way if they wish.

Original poster
MBlaze · 25/01/2018 10:37

Laurie - yup, both at the same venue.

OP posts:
OliviaStabler · 25/01/2018 10:40

@MBlaze

I'm sure it will be a lovely wedding. You'll never please everyone but as long as you both have a wonderful time, that is what matters.

BusterTheBulldog · 25/01/2018 10:54

Your original plan sounds lovely! I’m not sure who these people are that eat breakfast and lunch and then would be starving between 2 and 6 pm after having canapés too?!

I love a cheese and biscuits buffet, not sur how it’s difficukt to eat? Go to buffet, pick up plate, pick up biscuits add cheese, add chutney / garnish as required - eat!! Much easy than baps.

I think an afternoon tea before dinner would be far too much food but that just me! Wink

Johnnycomelately1 · 25/01/2018 11:10

The canapes are probably expensive as they're fiddly to make. Can you speak to the venue about potentially bringing it down with some simpler things like spring rolls or something- agree on 8 quid per head or something.

I think the quantity of food you propose is absolutely fine. We had our meal at 6pm, finished at 8:30pm and wrapped up at midnight - the cheese was barely touched as people were dancing or at the bar. I really wouldnt spend a lot on evening food if you have no evening only guests.

Please just shift the meal forward or the ceremony back to cut the drinks reception to two hours. I promise you wont regret it.

TieGrr · 25/01/2018 11:15

I'd reduce the gap between the ceremony and the meal. At my sister's wedding, a load of people got drunk before the meal had even started because they had nothing to do for 3 hours except drink, while the awful photographer dragged my sister and her husband off for awful posed photos.

I also agree about doing afternoon tea instead of crepes. Something people can pick up and hold one-handed in a napkin.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 25/01/2018 11:24

Maybe something more substantial after the wedding? Those posh mini burgers, toad in the hole, fish and chips type thing?

TatianaLarina · 25/01/2018 11:59

If people have had a 3 course meal from followed by cake from 6-8 they don’t need more food at 9.

Just put biscuits out with the coffee if you’re worried.

Who are all these people who can’t survive without massive quantities of food, and get hammered at weddings?

5plusMeAndHim · 25/01/2018 12:19

RaindropsAndSparkles

If they are still talking about it 27 years later, I expect they are talking about the long boring time with nothing happening.
Most people don't go to a wedding with the idea of getting absolutely wasted.Some will be driving others got work the next day , others only drink in moderation or not at all

LaurieMarlow · 25/01/2018 12:26

Are you able to pull back the start of the meal to 5? Because that would put less pressure on the canapes to keep everyone full and mean that 9pm evening food would make more sense.

Delatron · 25/01/2018 12:30

There's not just canapés though. There was going to be crepes and ice cream until everyone moaned on here and poor OP says she'd change it to afternoon tea!
Most people will have had lunch before. They really can't survive on a crepe (or 3 if they want) some canapés until a three course meal at 6pm?? (earlier than your normally eat). This thread is nuts!

Original poster
MBlaze · 25/01/2018 12:31

We are hiring the entire venue and our friend is marrying us, so presumably could change all of the times.

It might be a better idea to get married at 3, have the drinks reception 3.30ish-5ish, dinner at 5.30, evening snacks at 9pm?

OP posts:
KurriKurri · 25/01/2018 12:37

So you get 3 canapes and unlimited sweet or savoury crepes, a three course meal, cake, cheese board between 2pm and 11.30pm.

I think that is loads - how much would the people saying it is not enough eat at home during that time ? The crepes would constitute ameal for me (I have been to an evening wedding reception where a crepe van was the total of the food - and very nice it was too).

It is plenty - and many people will also have eaten before they come to the ceremony, more than enough food IMO.