To think the school has a point about packed lunches

[Rebeccaslicker]

I'm not sure about banning parents from the premises, but is it a bad thing to say no chocolate, sugary drinks etc in a primary school lunch?? (My DD is only 2, so I haven't had the lunchbox decisions yet, v interested in people's views!)

www.google.co.uk/amp/www.stokesentinel.co.uk/news/stoke-on-trent-news/now-mum-48-banned-school-1108690.amp

becotide

I am a judgmental snob coming from a long line of generations of working class people. As in real working class people, none of them being a mad bastard from a university of life and a domestic slave to her prince/princess.
None of them has ever seen it a part of their class to fight for the human rights of their children to bring chocolate or crisps to school. Those were things which were classed as unhealthy and occasional treats and not a part of a lunchbox which as I remember was normally a sandwich with butter and sliced pepper and an apple or, when we could afford it, ham.

Perfectly put Clandestino these women are a disgrace and, quite frankly, look as though they need to cut down on junk food themselves.

Teaching your kids that life is shit, but there's always chocolate, is just about the most harmful, fucked up thing I can think of.

becotide
It’s only recent that the treats you discuss have been affordable. I am that exhausted mum, who right now cannot stand up to cook. I may have money but I have no quality of life to be able to spend it.

Parents have forgotten how to say no to their children. Society is fragmenting. Life now seems all about instant gratification. And it’s really affecting our children.

Haven't RTFT but the whole situation could be remedied by having universal free school meals, like they do in nordic countries.

Whatevszz you do need to RTFT as then you would see that there are a lot of children in mainstream settings who struggle to eat/wont eat some or many of the foods included in school meals offerings.

This isnt fussiness or faddyness. Many PPs are very aware that there is a problem but at the end of the day would rather their children ate something than nothing.

Whatevss - Ds used to attend s private school where meals were included. Hecjust didn't eat & failed to grow.

Furthermore you could have the exact same effect by giving every school the exact same menu. You'd still get:

• the genuine cases with sensory issues
• the fussy kids
• the parents who know best when it comes to their kid

I dislike the use of the term 'fussy'. Isnt everyone allowed to have food they really dont like? It isnt a sensory issue except in the sense that they really dont like certain foods. Lots of people dont like certain types of fish or even all fish. Lots of people dont like offal. I think very few people are total omnivores. Most adults restrict what they eat without really thinking about it.

being a snob "because X reason" is no better than being a snob "because Y reason".

being a snob is deciding that you are better than someone else, and that as a result they deserve to be socially punished for not being just like you. That's you, Clandestino.

gnome
I agree. And most people will grow out of their fussiness. Mine refused to eat. Whatsoever. All the support from dietitians was not punitive, far from the approach suggested on this thread, but to eat whatever she wanted. In fact one of the suggestions was to make jam tarts and encourage her to lick the jam off the tart.
I recall her saying, oh yes, we get a lot of problems with schools....

She now eats salad.

I think the point of the school dinners is that as well as pizza and cake they get vegetables, salad and fruit. Also, the lunchboxes school are targeting are the ones where the child just has a full size pack of Maryland cookies. I think a lot of people commenting on this thread have only experienced relatively sensible lunches and can't believe that parents would do that.

Yes my eldest was very very clear about what he did and didn’t like from the age of about 2 (he’d been great up til then). Honestly he would literally not eat rather than eat something not on his list, which was very consistent and actually mostly very healthy, which is why we ended up just working round it. As DH said you can hardly insist he should eat pizza and sausages when it’s essentially junk food when he’s happy to tuck into broccoli. He has a much bigger range now at age 12. My response to people who say ‘I always think children will eat anything if they’re really hungry’ is simply ‘yes, so did I until I had DS’
DS2 I have much less patience with as his preferences change frequently (sometimes even while I’m cooking ) so it’s more of a ‘messing about’ thing and we don’t pander to that and he usually changes his mind and gets on with it. Because yes I do know my children better than other people do.

I think a lot of people commenting on this thread have only experienced relatively sensible lunches and can't believe that parents would do that.
Actually I can quite believe that, I think people are just annoyed about blanket bans based on questionable criteria being imposed instead of schools dealing properly with a small number of families that either need help or need holding to account.

Our school meals are appalling

Cheese and banana sandwiches anyone?

On the topic of 'Fuck you school, imma break your rules' -

Why does the school persist in an approach that clearly isn't working? Butting heads with people who just want to butt heads is silly. Why not try a different engagement model?

math
Because pandering to people like that only reinforces their behaviour and encourages them to behave in that way.

The school themselves have said they will not accept their staff being threatened or intimidate

Ring leader 'ma kidz ma roolz' mother has probably already been horrendous to staff and rightfully the school have said enough is enough.

School staff (like most other staff) do not come to work to deal with that. Start adapting to cater to people who think rules are optional and they can bully their way around is how schools start to go downhill.

I haven’t had time to read every reaponse’. On the water only front my step son refuses water but if I freeze the water overnight he will have that. I bought fruit diffuser bottles for the kids and put in lemon/lime or mixed berries. School is very strict but allowed that as they are allowed fruit every day. Gives the water lovely flavour, especially when left in fridge overnight. My son has ASD and will only eat certain things. I alternate frozen yogurt tubes with biscuits and cake. His school has now decided cake is banned so I am expirementing with substitutes to give him some variety.

I agree math . there have been many days when I have sent a couple if kit Kats for lunch. And being absolutely thrilled if my DD licked the chocolate off them. Fussy eaters? Some people on this thread have no idea.

I agree math . there have been many days when I have sent a couple if kit Kats for lunch. And being absolutely thrilled if my DD licked the chocolate off them. Fussy eaters? Some people on this thread have no idea.

I think it's overstepping. You can educate the children about what's healthy and hope they request healthy food from their parents. You can provide school meals that are healthy. You can speak to the parents who are only giving their child 5 chocolate bars for lunch because it's affecting their behaviour and concentration. But I don't think schools should be telling pupils what they can/cannot eat for lunch.

how do young kids without those issues get to the stage where they will only drink squash or fruit juice - if you'd never given it to them in the first place, how would they know?
Sure, because when she refused ANY attempt to get water in to her when she was weaned, to the point of showing signs of dehydration, we should have just persevered?

Instead, when we made purées for her, we also made apple flavoured water and gave her that instead, ye know, to stop her dehydrating.

Then when her poo issues started, rather than pumping her full of medication, the consultant advised giving her fresh orange juice. But we should have just ignored her, eh?

Then when she was at nursery and they gave them fruit juices with snack, we should have pulled her out straight away.

Or when she went to Kids parties, we should have just stayed to make sure she didn’t drink juice.

They aren’t actually that old before the parents start to lose a bit of control over their every more. It’s not as simple as “they never miss what they never had”

I cant open the link but I am a working parent who does packed lunches. My sons (8 and 12) get a flask with either big soup or pasta, fruit, a cheese string, crisps and a biscuit or a little cake. Its a lot cheaper than 85 a month to school meals and I know what they are eating.

I should also say that they both take a bottle of water. They walk to and from school, have healthy BMIs so I see no problem with a penguin biscuit with their lunch.. healthier than cake and custard at school.