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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the school has a point about packed lunches

447 replies

Rebeccaslicker · 24/01/2018 15:20

I'm not sure about banning parents from the premises, but is it a bad thing to say no chocolate, sugary drinks etc in a primary school lunch?? (My DD is only 2, so I haven't had the lunchbox decisions yet, v interested in people's views!)

www.google.co.uk/amp/www.stokesentinel.co.uk/news/stoke-on-trent-news/now-mum-48-banned-school-1108690.amp

OP posts:
isittooearlyforgin · 26/01/2018 07:57

Think the line that is most telling in the linked article is: "We do not tolerate the abuse or intimidation of out staff"
Clearly the mother has been banned not for merely questioning the school's policy in a reasoned way but for unreasonable behaviour, which very much weekend her point.

isittooearlyforgin · 26/01/2018 07:58

Weakened

MargeryFenworthy · 26/01/2018 08:18

What a sorry looking bunch of women. There are far more things to get incensed about. What kind of message are they sending to their children?

Headofthehive55 · 26/01/2018 08:27

I think it's about moderation though. Some food is better than no food. So a kit Kat is better than nothing. Drinking fizzy drinks, whilst not ideal, is better than no drink at all. That's what schools don't get. They only read the healthy eating message, not the need food to grow as a precursor message.

becotide · 26/01/2018 08:41

There is some raging snobbery in this thread, it's quite stomach churning

Original poster
Rebeccaslicker · 26/01/2018 08:47

Is it snobbery to say that the women in the photo are clearly overweight?

It's an area of the UK which has one of the highest numbers of childhood obesity. Clearly many parents there are getting it wrong. And when they are given guidelines, the response from many is, "fuck you school, imma break YOUR rules."

Is it any wonder the school isn't doing well if this is the sort of support it's getting from parents?!

OP posts:
GnomeDePlume · 26/01/2018 08:51

Lots of 'perfect parenting' posts on this thread. At my DCs' primary school the children with the most inappropriate food came from chaotic backgrounds. We saw a few children who would just be given a couple of pounds by whoever had had them overnight (often not a parent) to sort their own food out. Of course primary school aged children aren't going to make the best decisions but having a blanket ban and taking the banned items off them would just see the child going hungry.

These were the children who didn't always go home to parents. These were the children being shuffled about from one place to another. They wouldn't get registered for FSM and would slip through the net. The school meals weren't cooked on site so there wasn't any spare to give to these children.

A tube of Pringles wasn't ideal but it was something.

becotide · 26/01/2018 08:53

Oh no, they are clearly overweight.

But being overweight doesn't mean people are bad and stupid.

Sometimes it means they grew up poor and have disordered eating habits and poverty driven purchasing habits. Sometimes it means they were neglected, and cannot, literally cannot say no to their children regarding any form of nurture or sustenance. Sometimes it means they are on their knees with stress and exhaustion, cannot cook and are caught in a cycle of takeaway/feel awful/too tired to cook/takeaway. Sometimes overeating is the only vice they ca a)afford and b) have time for

but lets all focus on the horrid fat women and ignore the real issue.

Original poster
Rebeccaslicker · 26/01/2018 08:59

I don't see how backing down and letting them give their kids crappy food/drinks helps the real issue though.

A PP was right, some of the comments on the Facebook page are insane. I got as far as the man who started banging on about human rights and had to give up.

OP posts:
becotide · 26/01/2018 08:59

Working class women are not another species, we do not need to be fucking MANAGED. We need to be heard.

our lives are frequently stressful, tiring and lacking in pleasure or anticipation of pleasure. Unless we get our heads above the trench somehow, there is no reason to think the lives of our children will be any difference. Delayed gratification is not something that works out well for people who, if they try to keep something for later, get it taken off them.

And now, apparently, "they" want to take away our kids' snacks. We know how much we look forward to our own snacks, and how shitty our lives are, and now "they" want our kids to be just as sad. Well fuck off. We want our kids to be HAPPY in a way we are not happy, and chocolate, crisps and fizzy drinks make everyone happy. he can't have riding lessons, the neighbours complain if he's noisy, he can't have music lessons, he can't have swimming lessons, dinner's either tasteless or bad for him because I've only got £2.80 and I can't cook but he can have a dairy Milk so FUCK OFF.

And that's what people who have cars and skills and disposable income don't hear.

DownstairsMixUp · 26/01/2018 09:21

I do think it's stupid if the school are supplying cakes pizza etc if they are so strict on lunch boxes. Lucky my school only have a ban on squash weirdly. I agree there's no reason to supply junk, just why would you? A wholemeal bread sandwich, some cheese, piece or fruit and maybe some fruit loaf is fine and would keep even me full till dinner

Original poster
Rebeccaslicker · 26/01/2018 09:48

Crisps and chocolate and sweets and Coke might make you happy.

They might well also give you diabetes. As I've said before, as someone who is facing dealing with that shit every day - you can give all the reasons you like, your/kids' pancreas won't listen!

OP posts:
stopfuckingshoutingatme · 26/01/2018 09:50

I will bet my bottom dollar she was aggressive and rude and that’s why the school banned her

Of course my kids have sugar and crap . I am no angel - I try and often fail on this issue

But you respect the school and the sensible rules . It’s part of being a decent member of your community

Clandestino · 26/01/2018 09:54

Working class women are not another species, we do not need to be fucking MANAGED. We need to be heard.

Sorry, but I am sniggering at the word "working".
And your whole post becotide is either trolling or just sheer bollocks. The woe is me tone of "I want to keep my kids happy with chocolate because they have nothing else." shit.
We had very little money when I was growing up. And my Mum was working full time. But just like her Mum before her, who was even poorer, she knew that cooking from scratch, being economical about the meals and getting the best out of very cheap ingredients is the best way to use little money to feed a family.
We didn't have meat every day. That was for Sundays. We had lots of pasta dishes, pulses, stews bulked up with veggies, creamy soups because it was cheap and you could cook a pot in advance to last you two days or more. When still hungry, we'd eat bread and butter or bread and jam. The jam would have been cooked by her in summer and it would last for the whole year.
No packaged cereals for breakfast, porridge or semolina or rice in milk.
Chocolate was rare, cakes would have been baked on Saturday or Sunday. We'd get a small chocolate bar when my Mum was doing the big shopping.
Crisps were for birthday parties and Christmas and New Year's Eve.
We survived without being malnourished. And didn't feel like our needs were not satisfied, even though we had to go without any treats to make us happy.

AskBasil · 26/01/2018 09:59

Oh God now the stories of "I was born in a lake and we were grateful"

I have a feeling this thread's got out of hand.

Grin
PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 26/01/2018 10:21

As an addendum to my previous posts, DS2 had a club yesterday, I packed a raw carrot as his snack, when I went to pick him up, the first thing he said to me, before "hello" was "bin the carrot Mummy." 😭

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 26/01/2018 10:28

Water with a few drops of lemon in it. DD can do with lemon what sharks can do with a trace of blood, and she won't touch it. It might work with orange.

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 26/01/2018 10:35

Rebecca too much sugar isn't the only cause of diabetes. DS1 has cystic fibrosis related diabetes, he's had it since he was 14. It's more like type 1.

MargeryFenworthy · 26/01/2018 11:39

I resent the suggestion that some of us are judging these women due to their class. Many of us have come from poor backgrounds - I spent time in a shelter as a child for a period - but really this video would be laughable if it wasn't so bloody tragic. The thought of these poor kids being fed junk for breakfast, lunch and dinner is awful.

Clandestino · 26/01/2018 11:42

AskBasil I certainly don't resent the fact that we have moved away from those times I grew up in, quite contrary, I'm happy my child has the choices I don't.
It was using the "working class" and "we are so poor so sure if we buy our kids crisps and chocolate at least it will make them happier" really got to me.

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 26/01/2018 11:58

I judge her because she is a wally . Who goes to the papers with this shit ?
Muppets all of them .

Original poster
Rebeccaslicker · 26/01/2018 12:05

No, historically it was almost exclusively T1 for children. It was unheard of for anyone to have T2 as a youngster. Hence the (totally inaccurate) assumptions that one was juvenile onset and one was adult onset.

But now the number of overweight children who are developing T2 is on the rise and it's terrifying! Combination of genes, not enough exercise and a shit diet basically.

The ladies in the photograph - given the stats, there's a v good chance that 1 or more of them has blood sugar that shows they aren't coping well with all those happy crisps and chocolate bars Sad - in America it's over 1/3 of the entire country that's prediabetic!

OP posts:
Headofthehive55 · 26/01/2018 12:20

I actually agree with becotide

becotide · 26/01/2018 12:29

Sorry, but I am sniggering at the word "working".

That's because you're a judgemental snob.

Headofthehive55 · 26/01/2018 13:03

And there is a good chance that children who are allowed to horse ride will be injured. In fact, horse riding has such a poor accident profile. I think it's reasonable to allow parents to decide which risks they take with their children's health.