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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think 2 glasses of wine per week won't do any harm?

203 replies

Poptart4 · 23/01/2018 20:00

I fully expect to be eaten alive for this post but here we go...

I'm 4 weeks pregnant with my 4th child. With my first 3 pregnancies I didn't touch a drop for 9 months and all dc were perfectly healthy. However I have watched people, friends/acquaintances, binge drink every weekend through out their pregnancies and their children were also perfectly healthy.

To be clear i would never binge drink while pregnant!

But I have been thinking that maybe 2 glasses of wine max on a Friday evening won't do any harm.

What do you think? Anyone else done the same? Did it harm your baby?

OP posts:
aronbeer · 26/01/2018 19:18

I read research that said that they found that as little as one drink a week led to lower IQ (though only slightly lower). The researchers said that it is hard to separate class/ parents income out of most research results but the way they designed the study they were confident that they had controlled for this in their study.

I can't remember the details though or who the researchers were. Still, stopped me from having even an occasional drink in my second pregnancy..

SheGotBetteDavisEyes · 26/01/2018 19:21

The reality is that a large proportion of women drink alcohol well into the first trimester as they don't always know that they're pregnant.

I feel as always the government puts out a strong simplified message in the hope that people who really are putting their babies at risk might let up a bit. They mostly can't /won't take any notice but instead the people who weren't ever part of the problem have to fuss/agonise/judge over any tiny insignificant consumption.

I agree.

foxyloxy78 · 26/01/2018 19:57

No don't do it.

Thierryhenryneedisaymore · 26/01/2018 20:04

Scramwich.

Seriously, this is getting ridiculous. I didn't misrepresent my post, nor am i shying away from it. I am genuinely struggling to understand your bloody mindedness in this and digging your heels in ....

Shall we agree to disagree on that or are you going to continue to hijack the thread to score points?

I stood by what i had said. All of it. And i explained the mistake re the soft play.

What's the issue????

Did you not read my comment that i could not even if i remembered the exact wording repost everything as it would be deleted? What part of that do you not understand?

I explained that in great detail. To quote you "anyone with half a brain" could see that.

You clearly do think i am an asshole as your ranting confirms. But i am not at all bothered.

This is turning into a playground spat and i am not interested in continuing it.

Just one last time for clarity - i did not misrepresent myself. In case you missed that.

Wind your neck in.

Samewitches · 26/01/2018 20:12

Aron what does that mean though? 'One drink a week lowers IQ'. One drink of what? A pint of vodka? A sip of wine? A bottle of low alcohol lager? Does one drink each week lower IQ? Or does one have to have that unspecified amount every week for it to lower the IQ?

OkPedro · 27/01/2018 01:29

scramwich and yourauntfanny

Thank you for telling me what Thierry posted
I don't see why Thierry couldn't have told me what they actually said!
I don't want anyone to pussy foot around the fact I did smoke when I was pregnant with my son
I'm well aware of the facts
I WAS selfish obviously ffs 🙄

AlmostAJillSandwich · 27/01/2018 02:16

What is honestly so hard about not drinking for 9 months to make certain you don't risk even the minimal damage to your child?!

OkPedro · 27/01/2018 02:37

almost one or two glasses of alcohol a week
FFS

TheDowagerCuntess · 27/01/2018 03:34

What does it matter to people what other people (strangers) do - if they've weighed up the risks and are happy with the decision they've made?

I mean, people can be incredulous all they like that other people - wholly unconnected with them - do things they wouldn't. What's the point, though - no-one's saying you have to do it.

Addy2 · 27/01/2018 03:56

I wouldn't, as it could have affects so minor you can't tell by looking. They might be slightly less intelligent than they would have been, slightly less able to concentrate...impossible to prove because you've no idea how they'd have turned out without the alcohol. They could still be within normal range, just not as good as they could have been. Could cause infertility when they grow older, no one knows (I'm not suggesting this is fact or even a potential link, just trying to show that not all damage will be immediately obvious to an onlooker, so you can't really say it didn't affect your friends' kids as you don't know). I'm not taking the risk personally, but I can abstain quite easily and I'm aware it's very difficult for some. I'd say do your research and decide what you're happy with.

blackdoggotmytongue · 27/01/2018 04:54

I had my first dc in Europe. It was entirely normal to consume the odd glass of wine. In fact you didn’t even raise a point on your risk assessment if you drank 2 glasses a week or less. I could sit outside a cafe and have wine with lunch with a giant bump and no one would bat an eyelid. My next baby was born in North America. I think I was in danger of getting arrested if I even carried a glass for someone else. I had a glass every now and again at home. Both babies fine.
My third baby was born in the uk. All sorts of rules and regulations. So I played the game, avoided soft cheese, didn’t drink, blah blah blah. She has brain damage.
As others have said, two glasses a week isn’t even going to put you anywhere near a risk for FAS.
I assume governments who impose draconiannrules assume the populace is too stupid to be able to moderate.

counterpoint · 27/01/2018 05:45

If this is your fourth DC, maybe you are being complacent about it's health on another (subconscious) level.

There's no safe level of toxic substances to give any creature during its development.

tomatosalt · 27/01/2018 06:31

What’s mine months without a couple of glasses of wine in comparison to a lifetime of healthy functioning for another human?
Most likely baby will be fine either way but I’d just avoid it completely because if anything at all was wrong I would always wonder if my alcohol intake had caused it.

sunbird17 · 27/01/2018 06:38

There was a small hemorrhage detected on my 7 week scan. Due to this and my doctor being 'over cautious' (his words), I was advised not to have baths, swim, have sex, or travel on bumpy roads (not in the UK!) until I reached 14 weeks (plus all of the normal dietary ones - no soft cheese, pate, etc). However he said that it was fine to have a drink every now and then. Therefore about once a week I had a small glass of wine (125 ml) or a weak G+T (15ml gin). I didn't feel guilty about this and DS is a healthy baby boy. If I had been unsure of my decision or felt a bit guilty I probably wouldn't have done it.

berryferry · 27/01/2018 08:33

What is honestly so hard about not drinking for 9 months to make certain you don't risk even the minimal damage to your child?!

God you always get the dim statement trotted out. It's not HARD but I also don't think it's necessary, I've weighed up the risks and am happy with my decision to have a glass of wine here and there, just as you are happy with your decision to abstain, but don't make out people are hand shaking alcoholics for doing so.

pastabest · 27/01/2018 09:16

I know berry and most people don't only have one child, so it's isn't 'just 9 months'

As I said in a previous post I have been pregnant for 17 months out of the last 29, that includes a MMC. That is a long time not to have the odd glass of wine if you fancy one when there is absolutely no need to abstain from the occasional glass of wine.

I don't know what's worse the complete infantilising of pregnant women by the state or the fact that on the basis of being infantilised a whole generation of women are now martyring themselves and bullying other women who have made actual informed decisions.

windchimesabotage · 27/01/2018 09:41

'There's no safe level of toxic substances to give any creature during its development.'

That statement is ridiculous. Of course theres a safe level. We are literally surrounded by 'toxic' substances every day. Car fumes being the biggest one, cleaning products, pesticides. I suppose you retreat to a rural location for all your pregnancies and start eating completely organic and only clean with water!!
Some women do... but i really dont think their children end up any different to other peoples children tbh.

People are against pregnant women drinking the odd glass of wine because its about pleasure. And they will let things that are just for convienience (like not eating organic or hiding in the countryside) slide because at least they dont give pregnant women any pleasure, that would be evil now wouldnt it. Bad selfish pregnant women......

YellowMakesMeSmile · 27/01/2018 09:44

I wouldn't, it's such a short period to go without a dangerous substance and not being able to go without is a sign of addiction.

I'd not give a new born two glasses of wine to drink so why on earth would I drink them myself when pregnant.

LaurieMarlow · 27/01/2018 09:51

Equally, what's so hard about cutting out all unnecessary car journeys while pregnant?

You're probably putting baby at greater risk by traveling by car than the odd glass of wine.

Except no one would suggest that, would they?

AccrualIntentions · 27/01/2018 09:53

I'd not give a new born two glasses of wine to drink so why on earth would I drink them myself when pregnant.

I wouldn't give my newborn a steak, chocolate, cows milk, pizza, sprouts or in fact anything apart from formula or breast milk - but I had all of those things during pregnancy.

ineedwine99 · 27/01/2018 09:59

I think 2 small glasses a week isn’t too bad but not sure if both on the same night is a good idea? I only ever had a drink after the first trimester and on a special occasion, i think i had 5 glasses of prosecco from the start of the second trimester to her being a week old

MissTeri · 27/01/2018 10:09

You can get blotto in pregnancy and have a perfectly healthy infant or have one drink and harm your baby's development. It all depends on the exact stage of developing your baby is doing at the exact moment the alcohol reaches them - This is what I was taught when studying Health Science.

I think this thread is an interesting example of confirmation bias Hmm

MissTeri · 27/01/2018 10:22

Thierryhenryneedisaymore - Did you see the woman smoking or did you just assume that the cigerettes she was holding were hers based on the fact she was awful to her child, therefore she simply MUST have been a smoker? Confused

Thierryhenryneedisaymore · 27/01/2018 11:06

Yes i saw her outside the building smoking. Lots of non smokers can be asshole parents too. No doubt about that. And believe me she was an asshole.

counterpoint · 27/01/2018 11:40

*'There's no safe level of toxic substances to give any creature during its development.'

That statement is ridiculous. Of course theres a safe level. *

In your dreams! Or have you done any extensive research?

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