To think 2 glasses of wine per week won't do any harm?

[Poptart4]

I fully expect to be eaten alive for this post but here we go...

I'm 4 weeks pregnant with my 4th child. With my first 3 pregnancies I didn't touch a drop for 9 months and all dc were perfectly healthy. However I have watched people, friends/acquaintances, binge drink every weekend through out their pregnancies and their children were also perfectly healthy.

To be clear i would never binge drink while pregnant!

But I have been thinking that maybe 2 glasses of wine max on a Friday evening won't do any harm.

What do you think? Anyone else done the same? Did it harm your baby?

I think everyone finds what is right for them.
When pregnant, I had a single g&t every Friday night in the village pub before going home to bed. (but only one)

For me it was a way to let go the stresses of the week, I was on my own so it stopped the feeling of isolation, it was a rural village pub so it was the social focal point. And It meant all the neighbours could see I was ok without having to ask.
It was also good to walk there & back after a week sat at a desk.

People are so judgey about this stuff. I had someone berate me at the checkout once because I bought a prawn sandwich and I was about 6 months gone.

Just define your own rule - one glass or whatever - make it moderate and stick to it. Congratulations

It's not worth the risk surely.

Why do you feel the need to drink?

It's fine, OP.

A lot of the advice and opinion is predicated around people lying (to themselves and/or others) about their alcohol intake or miscalculating it. Perhaps it is warranted.

But if you are one of the many people who can stick to one or two glasses (as am I) then it won't be a problem.

It's only 2 glasses a week, I'm sure the baby will be fine.,

I think the medical guidance is 1-2 units of alcohol per week is fine if you want them.

One or two small glasses of wine a week are probably ok, if you really feel you must have alcohol.

^I didn't see the deleted comment you posted I assume you said something about my comment regarding smoking while pregnant?
I didn't report your post^

I reported the post because it was about your post pedro, I did not report it because of what she said about the woman at softplay, as that person isn't here. I have the post as it came back in my email from MN who also agreed it was "not in the spirit" asshole thing to say should she at least like to be honest about what a shitty response it was to someone who says they hope their child turns out OK and not damaged. If you are going to be rude at least have the decency to stand by your posts. You didn't say "Sounds bad when viewed like that. " you said it was pathetic and selfish.

When i think of three cigarettes a day when pregnant i think of 21 a week... 90 a month... hundreds over the course of the pregnancy. It's so selfish. Hard to give up yes but i just cannot understand a mindset of a person who puts their own desire to smoke above their growing unborn baby. I just don't get it. I don't think people who continue to smoke in pregnancy, knowing the risks, try hard enough for the sake of their baby.Waiting for the comments on cutting down gradually, addiction blah blah blah. It's bullshit and pathetic. Priorities are totally skewed with some people.

I was at soft play years ago and a woman walked past my table on her way out for a smoke with a twenty pack in hand. No shame. Same vile woman called her child (about 2 and a half) a "stupid twat" when she spilled her juice... that was the only attention the child got, with her mother glued to her phone the rest of the time. I felt so sorry for the poor child. What a life with that disgusing human being. Have never forgotten about it. Now we are off topic

I read your post but didn't report it.Personally, I read it and thought it was rather sneering dismissing addiction as bullshit I believe? Assuming that every Mother who smokes is lazy, selfish and vile then adding in a (totally irrelevant) example of one woman who does not represent the whole population. Smoking doesn't cause shitty parenting.

Yes, that was pretty much the size of it.

Thank you for that Scramwich, I know it wasn't your intention but I'm glad that it didn't actually specify the soft play woman was pregnant! I did wonder if I'd misread it.

She completely misrepresented her post, and I didn't want to repost it as I think it's very unkind to a pedro, but I don't think it's fair to just gaslight people either. I'm sure Thierryhenry is a brilliant parent though when she isn't judging people, being terribly nasty, or gaslighting them.

It’s fine to have a couple of glasses but just drink them really slowly. Bottom line is that you can feel the effects then so can baby. And i’d avoid the first trimester altogether... it’s a difficult and treacherous time for baby- they don’t need to deal with that as well!

I'm 5+5 with second pregnancy, first ended in MMC at 9.5 weeks in August. The minute I found out I was pregnant (11dpo last time, 13 dpo this time) I didn't touch a drop and I won't.

Every man for themselves but after having a loss I'm not willing to take any risk (and yes, I know alcohol had no effect on the MMC as I didn't have any, but still) and it's only another 8 months - hardly life

One would hope so Scram.

I admit I was immediately struck by the sneery attitude of the post and didn't actually realise until reading it again quite how targeted it was toward another contributor.

I guess in MN terms it was a blatant "personal attack" hence the justified deletion.

FWIW Pedro, my Mum smoked through 3 pregnancies cutting from 20 to 8-10 per day and all 4 of us are absolutely fine. No asthma, heart or internal issues have manifested as of yet and we are in or teens/20's/30's. Is it ideal? No, but you know that. It doesn't always mean worst case scenario though!

I never had a drop just wasn’t worth the risk- tbh once Id reached 6weeks + I was so nauseous with both of mine I really wouldn’t have fancied it anyway

The recommendation is now none but they do tend to be over cautious. I wouldn't but after first trimester it probably won't do any harm at that level. It's a risk you don't need I suppose

This is a very interesting thread.

I’m currently undergoing IVF with a frozen embryo transfer scheduled soon. I’ve had the year from absolute hell (not including all the infertility heartache i’ve dealt with) Due to all this, we’ve booked a special holiday to the West Coast of America (i’ll be 20 weeks pregnant if all goes well) And we are hoping to book Rome for 3 nights when i’m about 26 weeks pregnant.

I am so looking forward to having a lovely meal on Fisherman’s Wharf in San Francisco with all this shit i’ve gone through firmly behind me. I will absolutely be having a small glass of wine or a half shandy on that well deserved holiday with my meal (If i’m lucky enough to fall pregnant and to still be pregnant at that point) The same will apply when i’m in Rome...

I don’t smoke, never have. I eat plenty of fruit/veg, take my vitamins, exercise etc etc. My body is ready for pregnancy. I’ve done plenty of research and I believe, once past 12 weeks, a couple of drinks, now & again on special occasions (such as a holiday) will absolutely not be a problem.

I love a cup of coffee (although i’ve cut down to one a day now) Not sure if I need to completely abstain once pregnant, will have to do some research...

If you read the actual research papers, you’ll see that a couple of small glasses a week are fine.
Foetal alcohol syndrome is caused by drinking much more than that

Op you've said two glasses per week, but go on to say two on a Friday evening? That would be enough to make me feel slightly tipsy, so probably isn't a good idea...

Fwiw when I was pregnant I'd buy a small glass of wine on a Friday, split it into two glasses and top up with sparkling water to make two spritzer. That way you get the taste without the effect.

Two per week is against current guidelines as you know, but that's because they can't conduct research ethically into what constitutes a safe amount so they err on the side of caution. The advice from the Royal Society of Obstetricians used to be no more than one or two glasses, once or twice a week.

I wouldn't pass judgement on a woman deciding to drink a minimal amount while pregnant. Every woman has to decide for herself what level of risk she's happy with, since their is no conclusive evidence.

It always fascinates me that people high-five and defend to the death any pregnant woman who wants to live on nothing except McDonalds and Magnums for nine months, but think that a small glass of wine once a week is the very definition of recklessness and you're 'playing with fire.'

There is a LOT of research out there. A lot of it indicates that drinking very high levels of alcohol, along with a poor diet can SOMETIMES lead to FAS.

Trying to terrify pregnant women into thinking that a small glass of wine every now and then might cause serious harm to her baby is pretty awful, frankly.

Ok scramwich
First thing to say is i don't know how to cut and paste/ highlight/ repost so that makes it a bit difficult.

Firstly, re my original comments on the the soft play incident i referred to.
Assuming your cut and paste is accurate and exactly what i said (i have no way of knowing but i will accept it) i can see now much to my surprise that i didn't say the words "pregnant woman" when i recounted the incident at soft play.
I was certain i had. But as i could no longer see my post when it was deleted i couldn't go back to look... i clearly asked MN why it was removed but got no response. I say i was certain and that is based on the fact i know what i meant / the incident is ingrained in my memory. However i accept completely that in not saying "pregnant woman with the twenty pack of cigs" and instead just "woman with 20 pack of cigs" then it is then it is read in a different light. It has totally changed what i was trying to say and i am annoyed about that. I will be more careful next time... consider me suitably slapped on the wrist.

I do not take back or apologise for anything i said about that incident. It was disgusting.
But anyway let us leave that there. No-one in their right mind with any decency would condone that.

As for the rest of my post, i am not misrepresenting anything. I did say it was pathetic and selfish. Im not shying away from that. But clearly i would not have been allowed to requote my entire post even if i could remember every word of it.. it would have been deleted! When i said "it sounds bad when viewed like that" i was commenting on the fact that i thought my post was removed because someone didnt like me spelling out the maths .... you are misrepresenting me now by suggesting i was playing down what i originally posted and that i couldnt stand by it.
Not true.

Whilst we are on learning lessons, it would help if you used inverted commas in the right places when quoting people verbatim as it saves confusion... i am clearly not the only one who needs to be careful with missing things ...

And by the way as you have brought it up, i am generally a decent parent i think. I don't think i am brilliant. I have no doubt made many mistakes, some i know about, some perhaps not.

Smoking in pregnancy cannot be justified and we don't do anyone any favours by playing it down or trying to make people feel better about doing it. The research is clear. I believe and i have said people should try harder and priorities can be skewed. I also acknowledged it was hard. But there is a choice involved.

And as for calling me an asshole / making an asshole comment... I am a big girl. I won't report it.

Absolutely not OP.giving alcohol to a baby is just wrong.
You've done without before so you know you have the willpower.

Absolutely not OP.giving alcohol to a baby is just wrong.

Well it's a good job no-one's suggesting that, isn't it

😂 @KarmaStar, the 2 glasses are for a pregnant woman not the baby!

I'm no expert and have never been pregnant, but FAS is commonly suspected amongst adoptive/fostering families. Because severe alcohol abuse is a frequent contribution to someone being an unsafe parent. The level of drinking involved is so very much more than 2 glasses a week.

I feel as always the government puts out a strong simplified message in the hope that people who really are putting their babies at risk might let up a bit. They mostly can't /won't take any notice but instead the people who weren't ever part of the problem have to fuss/agonise/judge over any tiny insignificant consumption.

Whilst we are on learning lessons, it would help if you used inverted commas in the right places when quoting people verbatim as it saves confusion... i am clearly not the only one who needs to be careful with missing things

I don't think a typo is really quite the same as willfully misrepresenting your post as you did, It was easily understood by anyone with half a brain. As for implying my post which was directly cut and pasted might not be accurate, you're embarrassing yourself, I'm happy to paste a screenshot if you'd like or would I be accused of photoshopping?

And as for calling me an asshole / making an asshole comment... I am a big girl. I won't report it.

You could report it but it would stand since as you know, I didn't call you an asshole, I only said you made an asshole comment, which you did, swearing isn't against the talk guidelines. Personal attacks which you made are. Again you're just trying to rewrite history.