POO KNIFE vs TOILET BRUSH

[BattleCuntGalactica]

Ye olde poo knife thread..

Given the voracity of opinions on the poop knife, I wonder if Mumsnet js pro knife, OR more in favour of the traditional loo brush?

Link to poo knife on amazon

I mean to me, a loo brush is for cleaning the bowl after you've flushed to remove any bits that have stuck to the bowl, not for dividing a terribly large turd. You cannot properly clean a loo bowl with a knife alone. AIBU to suggest that if things are to be effective we must have both?

What do we think, Mumsnetters?

@Battleax
Thick bleach, in lavish quantities. Something else that isn't popular on MN.

Does tend to dilute the gin, tbh.

I thought this thread was going to be about a Japanese cartoon.

@Battleax - I am proud bleach user! preens

Would take less room in dishwasher seeing as some people wash them in it 😂😂😂😂😂😷

THIS is why I love MN even though it is distracting me from the millions of things I should be doing That brown loo is a work of genius. Now could someone please design a sink that is limescale coloured...

Could you add a stick blender?

Surely a daily portion of prunes would obviate the need for a poo knife?...

@paxillin my stomach hurts from laughing hahahaha

NOOOOO to scrubbing skidders with the big brush. My OH does this (not envy). The brush should be used to CLEAN so shouldn't have bits of poo. YES to bleach to get rid of leftovers post-flush.

My brain cannot cope with the thought of a poo knife. What do you do with it immediately post-dissection? And where do you keep it?!

There is a gap in the market for a Swiss army turd knife with brush attachment, carving knife, wiper and poker. It'll be a money spinner for certain.

This reminds me of the episode of Extras where Darren cooks Maggie dinner at his flat and half way through dinner he does a poo that won't flush, so he grabs a whisk from the kitchen

Barefoofdoctor, why not contact Lakeland with that idea? You might get royalties.

@barefoofdoctor I rather like knives. I have this fancy survival knife along with some other bits and pieces, so if a Swiss Army poo knife becomes available, I shall have one.

@ImTheMary Scrubbing Skidders is the name of a Mumsnet punk band.

Grim!!

The 2 in 1 option, LooBlade.

A poo spoon is needed, I'd market it as the "sPOOn". What you do is poo on to the sPOOn decant into the toilet bowl - carefully leaving the sides - then slice into manageable sections using the knife. If, God forbid, there are smears - a brush is then needed. No fork. A fork would be gross.

ItsAllABitStrangeReally

We have a poo spatula. (( silicone ))

You mean a shatula surely?

@123bananas that is fantastic!

@Littleraincloud decant into the loo bowl..

I'm fucking dying. My stomach hurts 😹😹😹

I would really like to get to the end of my life without ever having had to chop up my own poo. I don’t feel it’s too much to ask.

*Shatula
*

Not going to lie, I once blocked the toilet of a rather fancy restaurant while on a date, who did not have a loo brush in sight Fortunately I'd taken my bag with me and because I'm a mess, I still had the knife I'd got with my subway salad a week or so before. Chop chop chop.

Thanks for saving me, Subway.

Haha i found shatula so funny I've added it to my computer dictionary, for use in polite adult conversations , obviously