My niece decided a couple of years ago to retrain in a new profession – she is 38 and married with one child – and was going to take out a hefty commercial loan to pay for living expenses and tuition fees etc. I offered to loan her the money instead on a no interest basis, so that she wasn’t tied up in interest repayments as well as the repayment of the loan itself. I have no children of my own and can afford it and it was in fact my original intention to gift her the money, on the basis that she would inherit from me at some stage anyway. She expressed suitable gratitude at the time.
At Christmas we all gathered at her mother’s, my sister’s. I hadn’t seen her since last year and was looking forward to seeing her. However, from the look on her face when I greeted her, it was clear that my sentiments were not reciprocated. At one stage, she and I found ourselves alone in sitting room. I asked her a few questions about how the course was going and how she was etc.etc. perfectly normal conversation. She gave absolutely minimal answers and didn’t ask me anything about myself at all. At one point, unable to suppress the ennui she felt in my company, she sighed audibly. She later posted on FB a picture of a woman looking fresh and alert with the caption: ‘arriving for Christmas’. Next to it was a picture of the same woman, looking haggard and clutching the steering wheel of her car with the caption: ‘Three days later – I need a drink!’ I think it sums up her feelings about being around her mother, stepfather and myself. Obviously she can post whatever she likes on her own FB page but she knew that I would see it.
The course is ending later in the year and I believe she is fairly confident of securing employment in her chosen field (despite it requiring a degree of physical agility and her being seriously obese). As I say, it was my original intention to write off the debt, but as she has made her feelings towards me so abundantly clear, I am now disinclined to do so. I am also considering changing my will. There are plenty of charities that i support that would be grateful for my money and I would rather see them benefit than this entitled young woman. What would you do in my position? Am I over-reacting? All opinions welcome!