To keep breastfeeding regardless of what DP says

[HeartStrings]

DD is 8 weeks and is EBF. She has a good latch despite a minor tongue tie which doesn't need snipping as she can roll her tongue out fine.
She suffers slightly with reflux and is on gaviscon and ranitidine. She has a bottle of expressed breast milk at bed time and throughout the day she goes on the boob.

Sometimes however she gets a little frustrated and is on and off the breast and crying/whimpering and my DP is getting angry with me saying that she's still hungry but isn't getting enough milk from me. He obviously sees that she drinks her bottle well at night and thinks she should be on bottles.
Also in regard to her reflux, DP thinks it will be settled if we were to put her on lactose free formula. I did suspect she may have a cows milk allergy and I tried cutting dairy out of my diet to see if it made a difference which it didn't and my gut instinct is that she doesn't have a cows milk allergy and the reflux is nothing to do with consuming dairy, plus she shows no signs of having cows milk allergy as our DS did only he was formula fed.

I'm babbling on a bit now but basically I've been called selfish for wanting to continue breastfeeding, please note that she's been weighed and she's growing perfectly along her centile line so she's obviously getting the nutrition she needs. DP has threatened to leave as he can't put up with seeing DD 'suffer'.

I personally feel strongly that she isn't suffering too much from reflux, but he's exaggerating. I'm with DD every day and she's with me every second and comes everywhere with me. I know my baby. I've also tried to tell him the benefits breast milk bas on our baby and how it can change too when baby is sick, which despite me googling it and showing him for proof is apparently 'bullshit'

I guess I'm just looking for some support, sorry if this is long, didn't want to drip feed.

Just read the refreshed posts above. We also did one side for ages. I actually found that my right breast stopped making so much milk whilst the left one continued amazingly.

Also, don't stress yourself too much over this. We also had this argument, when DD2 was fussy: bottle from dad vs breast perseverance from mum. It's not ideal to not get support when you both want the best for the baby. But DD2 is 15 months. There's lots I can get annoyed at my OH for and this isn't one of them. I guess what I'm trying to say is - in addition to the baby stress try not to get stressed about the arguing. It will pass and if you are less stressed you can deal with a fussy breastefeeder better x

Oh I also mentioned to DP this afternoon that Babies especially when they reach the Hindmilk have to work harder at feeding whereas a bottle is easier which is why he sees she takes a bottle better. And he thought I was cruel for making her work harder. To be honest the more I write about this stuff is making me see how ridiculous he's being even more

haha. As someone who honestly thinks bf and ff are pretty much equal, I always tell new mothers that they must do what's best for them and works for them. In this case, you like BF and it's working for your baby because she is gaining weight at an appropriate speed. He's being a twat.

Absolutely possible that one breast has more milk and/or that baby prefers that one more. I met a woman once who basically only fed from one breast. I never did completely figure out how that worked but it seemed to be fine for her and the baby!

HeartStrings it sounds like you are doing a wonderful job. Def check out the tongue tie. But reflux is so common, and is often just a consequence of an immature body that will get stronger with time. Bf’ing is, of course, just the best possible start for your DC and as your DH’s fears are clearly irrational and you are getting on great, it would be a desperate shame not to continue.

It occurs to me that your DH may be suffering from PND - it’s not just the preserve of Mums. The anxiety would be an indicator. There’s some quick reading on the nct website

www.nct.org.uk/parenting/postnatal-depression-dads

Good luck xxx

@Millipede170 thank you, I'll have a read. I wasn't aware that dads can get PND too

Haha! He's so worried that you're making your baby suffer that he's going to leave you alone with her oka-a-a-ay. What an absolute prince among men. actually it sounds like a great idea - tell him to hurry up and get his things packed and get gone.

Haven't had a chance to rtft but with regards to the potential CMPA...

If you did switch, likelihood is that your baby would be much sicker on formula if they have CMPA. Lactose free formula is unlikely to work as lactose intolerance is very rare in babies and an allergy to dairy is much more likely. You would therefore need hydrolysed formula at the very least, which you'd need to get on prescription and that is a battle (took me almost 10 months). My twins had horrific eczema and nappy rash and were really suffering but I couldn't pump enough for both, and one needed a specialist formula that contained dairy for the first 8 months.

I would strongly advise you to cut out dairy and soy (many babies who are allergic to one are allergic to both) - it can take 6 weeks to get out of your system and then 6 weeks to get out of theirs if I remember correctly (it's been a while since I went through this) so you do have to keep it up for a few months to see if it helps. However, you might notice an improvement within a week or two.

Sounds as if you're doing a brilliant job. You hold him, I'll hit him. Little toad.

And as someone who couldn't bf directly, KEEP GOING! I wish I could have fed them directly, the amount of work involved in pumping, making formula, washing up, sterilising, packing bottles etc etc... ugh.

Whether your baby has reflux or not, some babies are fussy about feeding later in the day.

Erm sorry! I missed the bit about leaving from OH!

I don't know how to recall my last post - but I would if I could.

In general, reflux is worse with formula feeding.

If she has a cows milk protein problem, she's better off on your milk.

If she has a cows milk protein problem, then lactose free milk will be fucking useless (a bit like you "D"H), as that milk still has the cows milk protein in it. He might mean a hydrolysed formula, but that has more cows milk protein in it that breast milk. He might mean amino acid based formula, which is completely cows milk protein free (and tastes and smells foul, and is a total bugger to get them to drink, and only available on prescription). But I doubt it. Because it sounds like he hasn't got a clue what he's talking about.

Talk to your GP. And your DH can back off.

Do you know what is meant by the rugby ball hold? Google it if not. Try this on the difficult side, so that she ends up facing the same way on both boobs (rather than facing opposite ways) - for some reason it can sometimes help. Some people recommend cranial osteopathy if this is the case but I don't know how legitimate it really is.

FWIW - I realise that men can get a form of new-parent anxiety/depression, but I wish they would refrain from calling it "Male PND" - they aren't postnatal, because they haven't given birth.