To not admit I can’t do my job...

[Namechangejobproblem]

I love my job. It’s perfect for me... on paper. Obviously I had interviews and a rigorous selection process and got the role. But in order to ‘start’, there’s a lot of things to arrange and put in place. And I can’t do them. I don’t have the relevant skills or qualifications.

But my husband does.

He thinks it’s fine to just do these things for me for the first few months, knowing that I can then do the role I was hired for. In theory.

WIBU to do this? Everything after set up is completely what I’m good at. (And what the interviews covered.) and they are Very happy with the work my DH is doing

I think its dishonest in a way. Did you lie in the interview? If not then no problem.

Depends on the job.

Can't advise unless you tell us what the role is.

Yeah i’d carry on as you are. You need a job. Who is it harming? You will be able to do the job once up and running. Don’t sweat it.

Do you work from home? I'm intrigued to know how he can do your work for you.

Doesn’t your husband have his own work to do? How can he do your job? I’m confused.

I'm struggling to understand what has happened here. How did you get the job if you don't have the right skills or qualifications?

I think you are going to be found out at some point, and it won't end well.

I don't understand! You interviewed for and got a job that you are qualified for! What is it they want you to do before you start? If it's outside your remit surely just say?

I didn’t lie on my CV or at interview. I work remotely most of the time so my DH has been able to help me.

I don’t want to say what the role is as it’s quite identifying.

If I say I can’t do this stuff, I think I’ll lose the job. I think I was hugely lucky to get it in the first place. Once the initial ‘set up’ is done, I’ll be fine. But it’s going to take a while.

I don’t have the relevant skills or qualifications.

Does that mean you lied in the interview? I'm assuming so as no employer would give you the job without the requisite skills or qualifications.

No, I didn’t lie. They didn’t mention this aspect at interview or in the job spec.

Cross post.

So if you didn't lie then how come you don’t have the relevant skills or qualifications?

Let your husband help you out. But make sure you pick his brains so you are soon able to do it independently.
My friend did something similar and delegated anything he didnt understand. He got away with it and soon learnt everything he needed to know.

Get him to show you how to do it as he does it. One day you may need to do it again on your own, or tweak it in public, or talk about how you did it... whatever it is.

Oh this is all very confusing.

If you can do 90% of the job but need your husband to coach you through the other 10% until you're capable of it then I don;' feel there's an issue.

If they didn't make it clear that these skills were part of the job I don't see why you think they would sack you? Without knowing the inns and outs it's very hard to advise but I think if you start off giving them the impression you can do things you can't it will probably end badly. I would advise being honest

Is it a case of IT skills being essential and actually you're not very knowledgeable in that area past emails and word? If that's it, and the actual job is more your area of expertise then I'd just continue, only if you have told the truth about your capabilities of course.

Noidea - without being too identifying. It’s in that area.

I’d definitely continue, and get DH to teach you as he goes along.

I'd say about 75% of the work I do I'm not qualified and do not have the skills for. I learn fast, and I seek help, and I problem-solve ferociously.

Your employer is getting two heads for the price of one sounds like a bargain!

What kind of things are you getting your husband to do for you?

I agree with the pp who said to continue as you are, but try to learn from your DH if possie in case you are ever asked about it, or asked to redo it/help someone else with ir in the future.
However this only applies if practically you and DH can continue to do this with no issues, no risk of being caught and no impact on your productivity. (Ie would it seem like you'rea very slow worker if you have to wait for DH to be free to complete work?)
It also depends on how likely you are to asked to do similar work in future, and whether it's a task that could reasonably assumed someone doing your role would be capable of doing.

In short, if there's any risk of this affecting your job peromance, or of it coming back to bite you or your employer in future I would have a word with them now and say that you feel that the start-up work you need to do falls outside of your current abilities.

Keep in mind there may be privacy and confidentiality issues with letting a non-employee see your work. If you're working from home a lot I imagine your employer will have a policy about that.

If that's not a concern, then go ahead and get your DH to help.

Great you’ve bagged yourself a job you like and your dh is willing to help you out. As others have said, just make sure he teaches you these skills at the same time. As you won’t be as proficient as him, I don’t think it’s a problem to take a little longer to set things up than if you were your dh. That way he’s training you while you’re both doing the work together.

To be honest I think it was a mistake letting it get this far. You should have said something straight away.

That said, now you are part way through the process, keep schtum but when things are set up and running, could your DH do you a documented process so that if you need to do it again, you have the instructions there for yourself?