To not admit I can’t do my job...

[Namechangejobproblem]

I love my job. It’s perfect for me... on paper. Obviously I had interviews and a rigorous selection process and got the role. But in order to ‘start’, there’s a lot of things to arrange and put in place. And I can’t do them. I don’t have the relevant skills or qualifications.

But my husband does.

He thinks it’s fine to just do these things for me for the first few months, knowing that I can then do the role I was hired for. In theory.

WIBU to do this? Everything after set up is completely what I’m good at. (And what the interviews covered.) and they are Very happy with the work my DH is doing

I think you should ask if there is any support for the parts you were not expecting to be part of the role.
There might be someone who can help or some online training.
Your husband seeing your work product could be a problem for confidentiality.

Your fine, you are doing the work, no doubt your skill and experience out ways your lack of technical ability.
Learn, learn , learn........ let your husband show you then do it yourself next time.
You are going too be fine.
I am learning new skills all the time!

A colleague, who I was friendly with, got a job in another company by describing my role and my skills as hers. ( She was in a secretarial role in the same department, though not reporting to the same line manager, , and I was in a more senior, technical position) . I didn't know she did it, until she got the job, and had to spend the next six months making frantic, whispered phone calls to me asking how to do various things, involving large budgets. It was a close run thing at the time but her confidence and talent at other aspects of the job got her through.

OP I work with at least half a dozen people like you. The bit of the job that was crucial at the time of interview was covered off and they were employed. Now they work alongside me and cannot fathom where to begin with the technical skills. It is beyond infuriating to have someone who just accepts that they can't do the the technical stuff and keep shunting it at people like me.

Whatever you do, don't be that colleague. Learn as much as you can from your husband. Pay for a Lynda.com subscription and do some of the online learning so you can at least muddle through on your own steam and gradually improve at what you're doing.

From what you've written the job is ideal for you, you just need to learn an extra bit to make it perfect.

Everyone, think of it like driving. The interview etc wanted to know if she can drive. She can. So she got the job. They didn't mention she had to build the car first. So her question is is she bu for getting her husband to build the car if she can then drive it when it's done

I don't think it's fine, as I would have my husband teach me, not just let him do it. So I would do it, and have my husband sit beside me and tell me what to do step by step, this way I was learning and could say I did it myself. Just having him do it is a bit of a cop out.

It's fine not to know, it's fine to learn, it's not fine just to let him do it whilst you get on with something else.

I think it's fine as long as you are learning from him so you can do the tasks independently at some point.

My husband moved into an office/conventional type job for the first time a few years ago and I gave him loads of guidance on completing applications appropriately and tips for Excel etc. Now he has moved up quickly and gives similar advice to others. Sometimes you need some help to get the best out of yourself.

If you didn't lie in your interview or on your cv I think it's fine.

You'll pick it up and I think that's how people get ahead in work places, it will push you to learn

If he knows how to do it he can show you and then you'll be able to do it independently

I took a job which I knew I did not have the skills for. But I'm a fast learner and I just faked it until I made it. I was still there, although in a more senior role, 13 years later.

You'll be fine!

Most people blag it a bit in a new job, how else would anyone progress?

If you use your DH as a trainer, rather than just him doing it for you, I think you'll be ok.

I think UserSnoozer's analogy of a car is a good one.

Is this a case where you can perform the role but you first need to be involved in working with IT to design/streamline the system, process and workflow to house it? That sort of thing can take quite a long time.

They could be 2 diametrically opposed skills and not one which the HR or the people who designed the role were aware had to be done and the painstaking multi-disciplinary project/change management and other skilled work that goes into it.

If that is the case, most of this work is front loaded. I don't see a problem with asking your dh for help nor a need to disclose particularly confidential or firm proprietary information to do it. Your employer is lucky to have your dh's skillset for free.

You don't need to tell your employer. I bounce lots of ideas off my dh when he has skills that I am lacking. Nowadays, the jobs and roles are not easily shoehorned into specific disciplines. You need a wide range of skills and inputs to do it. I don't see why it is a crime to only have a subset of the skills needed to do a job. We all want to and are expected to learn on the job in an often changing environment.

Why don’t you let him show you how to do the things you can’t do?

You won’t be the first person to fudge about your skills and you certainly won’t be the last.
As long as you’re willing to learn, if your DH who knows you the best thinks he can teach you then go for it.

Just a thought r.e. this thread; can I just say a massive thank you to those that 'winged-it' hoping to get up to speed whilst in the role. There are far too many people - mostly women - that wouldn't even attempt to draft an application because they don't meet all or 99% of the criteria.

I used to bang on about this when I worked with young women wrt career aspirations in a girls' school. I know this isn't relevant to OP's case as it would seem some critical info was left off the job spec but the point still stands. Breaking through the glass ceiling is one thing but we need more women to bloody break down the door first!