To think it shouldn't always take so long to crap?

[Hippobottymus]

lighthearted

DP always takes at least 20 minutes in the toilet if it's a poo. My exes were all the same, my brother and my dad are the same. Me, my mum, my daughters, none of us take this long routinely. Of course there is the occasional time it takes longer. And I know some people will have medical conditions that may mean they take longer. But it seems like most men take ages to crap and most women don't??

Why do these men take so long to crap? What do they do in there? And most importantly, am I missing out? Should I be spending this long taking a dump?

It's a hobby - an art form

Leave them to it

Hide his phone when he goes in there and make sure there's no other forms of entertainment in there. If he suddenly craps quicker you know why he was taking so long

it really pisses me of DH will disappear for 30+ minutes 3x a day

usually at really inconvenient times.

It's so they can have a bit of peace from the wife and kids. My dh does it, he's in there for hours. I'd get a numb bum if sat there that long!

I once had a conversation with a gastro doctor who told me the reason more women have gastro issues is because they do not give enough time on the loo for number 2's due to busy lives of being mum, Wife etc. Men usually take as long as it takes, have a read etc which allows the natural movement of passing through due to sitting for a while. He also said it allowed men to be more healthier and regular.

Xx

www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/lifestyle/woman-goes-on-mini-break-while-her-husband-has-a-shit-20180120142798

Mine does this. Usually watching YouTube videos 🙈😶

I raised this as a thread a while ago. Everybody told me my dh was wanking.

The toilet definitely stunk of shit when he came out though, so I wasn't convinced he was wanking and shitting.

My DS12 does this. Has done for years. Annoying when we are just about to go out or it's dinner time ....

My dh does this It's a total leisure poo . It's always when i'm trying to get dinner on the table or the 3 kids dressed and car loaded. He just disappears too so I have no idea where he is. I say what if i just pissed off upstairs at the same time for 45 mins? Who would be looking after the dc? Instead i tell him i'm going. I run upstairs. Am very quick. And come straight down. I don't take a detour to the bedroom for a lay down or read of my magazine till someone angrily calls me then huff like a teenager.

My sons are like this aswell always take really long.

That's interesting @maggie222 maybe I should take longer! Although I've never found myself trying to rush a poo

I'd think DP did it to have a break but he'll do it even if he gets the urge whilst playing Xbox or football or whatever. Maybe it's habit by now

I never rush. But i either need to go or i don't. It happens very quickly when i need to go - quicker than a wee. I don't get the sitting there waiting for it to happen.

Looks like it's a common thing then. My DP does the same as yours @MrsKoala, usually at breakfast or brushing our teeth etc. But go and use the loo on the other level would mean that he would completely disappear and not resurface for ages.

I just don't need ages.

Interesting maggie, I've been told the opposite - that men who took too long on the loo were risking haemorrhoids and/or prolapse due to how long they spent on the loo. Told to me by surgeon friend.

Sandsnake

What I have found is that DH goes at the same time every day. He tells me he will go at that time whether he feels he needs to or not and will sit there until he has been.

I, however, go when I feel I need to go and be in and out before my bottom can get too cold (my radiator doesn't work in the bathroom).

All my DSs take forever and all my DDs are quick in and out kind of girls.

My dp does this, it usually just as im about to go out somewhere, meaning i have to sit down and watch the dc for about twenty mins while he watches fishing on youtube

My mum walked a mile to the hospital with her bag when she was in labour with me because my dad was taking so long on the toilet. Apparently he rocked up an hour later. She had shouted thru the door that she couldn't wait any longer and had to go.

I will die with this question on my lips.

To get out of helping with the dinner, the kids etc etc.

Mine does it as dinner is about to be served & if we're about to go out - those are the quick ones - a mere 10-20 minutes.

He can spend literally hours on the toilet with his laptop on his knee, plugged in under the door, usually with no clothes on at all, or just a t-shirt

It means we he gets very little done on any of his days off, as he is sometimes there from 10-11am till a rushed shower before dinner at 8-8.30pm. He will pop out to get a drink if one's been made & go straight back, & usually misses lunch. There is nothing wrong with his bowels.

That’s what I thought when married, and there may be something to it, but ds has been living in the loo since he was about 12 years old. So I think it’s more a male thing. He gets exceeding huffy when I ask him to hurry up (because I need in there/he’s making us late). Huffy is also a male thing.

I guessed by the title this would be about a husband

Mine is the same. Like clockwork. Can’t leave the house in the morning without having a crap.

I’ve heard that it’s not healthy. Generally women go when they need to, not when the allotted hour arrives.

Although I have now taken his lead and head to the bathroom for a 30 min phone session away from them all. Love it. Mind you, only I know I’m not pooing, just sitting there on my phone. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander 😂😂😂

If he's there for 20 mins he's going to end up with haemorrhoids...