To think it shouldn't always take so long to crap?

[Hippobottymus]

lighthearted

DP always takes at least 20 minutes in the toilet if it's a poo. My exes were all the same, my brother and my dad are the same. Me, my mum, my daughters, none of us take this long routinely. Of course there is the occasional time it takes longer. And I know some people will have medical conditions that may mean they take longer. But it seems like most men take ages to crap and most women don't??

Why do these men take so long to crap? What do they do in there? And most importantly, am I missing out? Should I be spending this long taking a dump?

I think the 12 year old in the loo might be more than pooing tbh. Dp doesn't do this but my eldest boys do one reads others on his phone.

@JustAnIdiot So he sits in there ALL day?

We all enjoy a languorous poo in this house.

Nope, smells like poo so he’s not entertAining himself in there. Also as he knows I’m likely to keep talking at him through the door he’s have better luck saying he was having a nap and shutting his bedroom door. So it’s not that. And he’s not 12
now, this has been going on for years.

What the fuck JustAnIdiot? How often does he do that for goodness sake?!

I think the consensus on the other thread that was up recently was that women go for a poo when they actually need to go. Whereas men go to see if they can, hence it taking forever since they don't actually need to fecking poo!

It's when I'm dishing up dinner. Every. Single. Time.

Apparently there's something to do with women waiting til they need to go, then going, and men just going off to the bathroom and waiting for something to happen.

Have to admit if DH got into a habit of taking half an hour in the bathroom whenever we were on our way out, I'd get into a completely coincidental habit of turning off the WiFi at the same time.

My XH did this. Usually, when it was time to go out. I think it was a control thing/power play. Note the X part. Current DH does not do it and life moves at a slightly more prompt pace!

It's the novelty of sitting down while downloading. We females don't find it a novelty because well, we have no choice but to sit on the loo.

He needs one of these. (This ad makes me laugh, so I've been posting it on any vaguely poo-related threads. )

No kids to get away from here and my hubby spends ages in there, normally on his phone on Facebook or watching videos. No bother to me.

Eliza & Kipper yes!

I just carry on without him now, but it frustrates me that he gets nothing done.

DH gets up 40 mins before me, purely to sit on the toilet for that length of time. It doesn't bother me as it means I get 40 mins of extra sleep that is undisturbed by snoring.

I do get majorly pissed off when he does it on holiday in the en suite room though and I'm bloody desperate for the toilet and he's hogging it for 40 fucking mins. I regularly have to go down to reception or restaurant and use the toilet there. Inevitably he's still holed up in the en suite when I get back.

Meant to say, Kipper - every day he has off he will spend hours & hours there. So far today a couple of hours before lunch at 1pm (he was 20 mins late) & I've just heard the toilet flush. He'll be back in there later I expect. Not too bad today, it seems

I clicked on this to post that daily mash article haha.

Mine does this about 4x a day for 30 mins, always at the most inconvenient times. I’ll have spent all day at home going stir crazy with 2 toddlers, he’ll walk through the door at 6.30pm and go straight to the toilet for half hour. I feel murderous when he does that! I’ve been waiting all day just to do a 30 second wee on my own!

Yes, I bet it’s no bother to the people who don’t have kids - you get some time alone!! But when youhave kids it can add up to a whole day of child free hours that the woman doesn’t get back in return. In fact that’s an idea, I might start tallying the time he takes and cashing in on it for myself at weekends....

This gets me so angry!! Always wanders off to the loo when there's something to be done!

Actually it's a sex thing - men get pleasure from their prostate being stimulated, so like to draw out the sensation. A group of drunk (male) friends once admitted this to me!

No issue with my OH taking as long as he likes/needs on the toilet. But he goes at stupid times 3 times a day. Like when we get the kids ready, coats shoes hats etc on we are stood at the door then he goes to the toilet for 20 minutes. Or in the middle of sorting kids for bedtime so they are hanging around upstairs waiting to brush their teeth... why he can’t just wait for a sensible time to go like I do I don’t know.

Ahedgehog ... ohhhhhhhh.

Okay @JustAnIdiot that's unusual! All day?? The toilets not a very comfortable place to spend a whole day

@JustAnIdiot that’s really fucking weird.

With a few exceptions,I have noticed that this seems to be a common theme with the male sex. Personally,I cannot see the attraction of sitting on the toilet for ages (unless you have to obviously because of an upset stomach). I think the problem is that a lot of blokes take their phone or tablet in there with them to pass the time,then just sit there long after they've finished doing what needs to be done,playing Angry Birds or whatever. And I strongly suspect that a good percentage of men use it as an escape from family responsibilities,as their 'me time'. Bloody annoying when you're waiting to have a quick wee.

Yes, fucking weird. Drives me nuts. At least we have more than one toilet.

I wouldn't be giving dinner to someone who chooses serving up time to piss off to the loo for half an hour.

It's opppsite in our house.

Dh is in and out like a rocket while I quite enjoy spending some time reading and relaxing my soft muscle.