AIBU to ask how much sleep you get?

[Purplerain101]

I know this isn’t an AIBU but I thought I would get more responses here.
I had 4 hours last night and feel absolutely awful today. On average i’d say I get about 6 hours but would love 8

Does having such little sleep make any of you feel unwell? I feel shaky and sick when I’m exhausted

For those having less than 6 hours, what are the reasons for it? Choice? Insomnia? Kids? Being disturbed by partner? Shift work? Illness? Menopause? Pregnancy? Anxiety?

For me it's work - I don't do shift work, but I work a lot in the evenings (especially when things are busy, as they are at the moment - I'm also working at the moment, and just MNing while I wait for a file I need to download) and find that by the time I've eaten, worked, unwound a little, etc. then I don't get into bed before midnight, which gives me about 6.5 hours in bed, which seems to equate to 5.5 hours actual sleep (according to my Fitbit). As I said, I catch up a little at the weekend. I am pregnant at the moment, and that seems to mean I wake up earlier than usual, but that's a pretty marginal difference.

I do always think it's quite amusing on here how many parents think that everyone without children sleep 10 hours a night. I have no doubt that if I'm lucky enough that this pregnancy turns into a baby (14 weeks at the moment) I will get a lot less sleep, but I also suspect that years of pulling all-nighters for work when necessary means it'll be a bit less of a shock than it is for the 9-5 crowd!

I'm best functioning with eight. Any more and I'm groggy. Any less than seven I'm tired. I get as much sleep as I want/need as no kids and only work 40 hours per week.

At the moment I'm sleeping wayyyy too much due to depression and medication, like 14-15 hours some days, across the overnight sleep and daytime naps. It makes me feel so shit and gives me migraines but some days it feels impossible to get out of bed and being asleep at least means you're not feeling or thinking.

Pregnancy has screwed my sleep. I wake up at least twice a night for a wee, whether I limit my fluids before bed or not.

I find the difference is with work that you ultimately decide to have 5.5 hours and you get it - it's gruelling, but not that weird torture feeling of being woken at random intervals. With small kids it's the hope that gets me - will I get 45 mins, 2 hours, 6 hours...?! Sleep deprivation is awful for whatever reason and I dont want to be a smug parent about it. For instance, I imagine insomnia is much the same as with babies, totally out of your control.

Personally though, now I have known the hell of 2 reflux kids, I wouldn't let work encroach on my sleep to the degree I was only getting a few hours rest. Of course there are busy times - but then I'd schedule a 10 hour weekend sleep catch up, or whatever. I don't get why anyone works a job where long term they are cutting back on their sleep so much on purpose? If you're on min wage struggling to work 3 jobs I see why if course - as that is survival. But that approach, in a professional office job, (without an exit strategy) seems not a fun life choice.

Also a Fitbit wearer, and my 5-6 broken hours are a combo of pregnancy and some anxiety. I sometimes am so tired I doze off for 20 winks in random places, having set a timer so I don’t miss appointments and stuff. I need 8 hours minimum a night to feel human, but I just can’t get it anymore. Don’t see this increasing once my babies arrive 😂

Mon- Thurs- 6-7 hours, very broken

Fri-Sun- 12 hours solid each night

I’m rubbish without sleep. It’s one of the best bits of splitting with DH as he has the kids at weekends and I can catch up on sleep and feel human again

Broken 6. It affects my energy and memory tbh.
My 9yr old dd doesn't settle down until late, gone 10pm. Once she's calmed down I usually have a few bits to do then I need time to wind down.

I get very anxious which affects my sleep in two ways - I am often so exhausted from being anxious throughout the day that I get to sleep really early but I am often awake around 4am fretting again. I try to be in bed by 10 to give myself a chance to get at least 6 hours and I also invested in a paperwhite kindle which has been great because I can read at 4am without waking my DH - this helps distract me from worrying and sometimes I go back to sleep before DS comes in at 7 to wake us up! I'm always tired though, even when I've had 8 hours if it's broken. I used to do 8-9 hours straight through before I got anxious and that was bliss, I was such a good sleeper!

4-5 of broken sleep due to kids
Would like 7

About 6 hours broken sleep with 5mo. Feel miserable today.

Kids and IBS are my sleep bandits.
Ds1 rarely sleeps past 6am.
Ds2 has night terrors and now growing pains. He was up 3 times in the night and he's almost 6, he's not actually awake when he gets up/cries/etc though.
Dd 18 month is a pain to get to sleep and if she wakes in the night can take hours to settle.
Ds3 is a pretty good baby compared to the others and wakes about every 2 hrs.
I didn't spend a lot of time sleeping before I had kids though, maybe 6/7 hr a night. One day maybe.
As for feeling ill, i cant actually remember what it felt like to get enough sleep but on the days when i get less than 4 i get migraines and my teeth hurt. It did reach a point when the kids were ill recently that I was actually a little delirious.
It is what it is though, I hope at some point things will change.

I’ve had a maximum 2 or 3 hours a better get for the last month or so. I’ve always had insomnia but I’m going through a really bad patch. 5 hours is like winning the lottery!

I sleep from around 10-7 most nights but wake up for a short time in the night usually.

Fitbit is interesting for tracking sleep, it shows mini awakenings which I'm not aware of and gives some idea of the phases of sleep.

A night- not sure what the heck ‘a better get’ is!!

I get 8 if I go to bed at 10pm, I have always been a night owl and used to go about midnight but spent the morning like a zombie. Recently I've been forcing myself to bed at 10 and it's helping my mood and anxiety massively.

Technically I should go back on my medication but I want to try this first. I also find that if I miss my 10pm window then it's really hard to actually get to sleep, I've downloaded the Headspace app which I listen to before I go to sleep and it really helps.

My children are 2 and 5 so it's not a perfect plan, they can still be up in the night and up early, there's also loads to prep for the next day so I don't always get the choice of an early night. But I make sure that I can do it when I have the opportunity.

Anything less than 5 hours and I'm a mess. This is why my career crumbled after having children, I couldn't cope after maternity leave and the unsupportive people I worked with made me feel awful. I was so tired and sleep deprived that I couldn't see the bigger picture or imagine that it was only short term. So I left. Now I'm a manager I make sure I support parents, I remind them that everything can be managed with support and if they feel like they're doing a crap job then it's only temporary and that once they're getting enough sleep they'll feel better again.

Sleep is such a massive thing yet I don't think we take it seriously.

So it’s quality of sleep too that’s good for me.
Indeed, and getting a fitbit has really opened my eyes to this as I couldn't understand why I always felt so tired and never refreshed despite getting 8 hours.

I have never in the 8 months time I've had the fitbit had more than 20 minutes chunk of deep sleep and that was maybe 2 or 3 times. They normally last between 5 and 15 minutes. I've tried everything, I don't drink, don't smoke, exercise, but it's no good. Even when I tried taking sleeping pills, I still didn't make it longer than 20 minutes. I don't have any baby or toddler to disturb me (well a snoring husband, but I wear earplugs) and yet I've net slept so poorly!

7.5, 9 if I'm really tired.

Between 3 and 7 hours. I have a major issue with feeling like I need to be doing something so can be cleaning until 2am and I like to be up at 5am to be able to work. It’a something I’m working on - I just can’t switch off.

swing - I have my best chunks of deep sleep early doors. So if I go to bed at 10.40 say my deep sleep might be 11pm-midnight.

It’s always the longest chunk when I’m really tired physically & mentally -been on my feet most of the day, working & lots to think about/juggling etc.

Between 7 and 8 with maybe one or two nights of 5.5-6 if work has been busy or I’ve had a late night out with friends.

Do you go to sleep the same time every night even if you have had an awful sleep the night before? I’m tempted to try and be asleep by 9 tonight after my 4 hours of broken sleep last night, but I’m worried i’ll destroy my sleep pattern and should try and stay awake until 11

I go to bed earlier if I'm very tired, as I can't sleep in with DC to take to school.

About 10, go to bed at 10 and up with DD at 8, this will have to change when she starts her 30 hours in September though.

I work nights though so 3 nights a week I’m up all night and get around 5 hours afterwards so I still don’t feel rested.

I haven't had a night of unbroken sleep since being pregnant in 1995. Pregnancy, then small children and then a weak bladder. I never sleep longer than 3 hours without waking.
I'm retired now so don't have to get up. My total sleep per night, according to Fitbit, in the last week has ranged from 5 to 9 hours.
I am ok on 8 hours but 9 is blissful.