To go on a 1 week yoga retreat in Bali while I leave my 2 YO with my ex partner?

[Goldylookingchain]

Long story short: finally separated from my partner who was controlling and generally made me quite miserable. I am just getting used to being a single mum but feeling a huge sense of relief and getting back to my old self. It's my 40th very soon and I don't particularly want to be in the country; I have lost many of my friends due to the relationship I was in so don't feel like I have a lot of people around me to celebrate (!?) with.

I have always wanted to go on a yoga retreat and visit Bali....but I know how much I will miss my little girl and I can't help feeling like it would be selfish of me to go away like this.

What do you think?

Bali is not a shit tip! Granted, Kuta is like bloody Benidorm, but other parts are stunning.

I think going away for a week and leaving your DD with a capable parent is a non issue. It is a long way though if DD fell ill and you wanted to get back is there one closer?

Go. I would. I've just 'celebrated' my 40th and had 3 blissful days away from baby and toddler. They stayed 2 nights at DMs while I was away with DH and then I had a night with friends. I love them of course but I love time away. I'm quite introverted and that quiet time does me good. Look after yourself!

Bali is too far for a week- I had jet lag/ill from air con first 3 days!
Go to one in Greece, and enjoy.

Do it.

You deserve something for you, he can manage for a week!

I wouldn’t go as far as Bali. But that’s down to the jet lag issue. Go short haul and spend more of the week enjoying yourself.

I’d be worried about the controlling ex using this to manipulate in some way. Possibly to threaten going to court for custody or something? Refusing to hand her back after? I don’t know, just feels like it could be ammunition for something.

Also if you’ve only recently split I wouldn’t do it after the disruption she will have gone through.

Also you say he’s a great dad but she will have witnessed his controlling and abusive behaviour. I’d be giving her some time to forgot that before going away for any length of time.

Agree with PPs (half of them anyway!) - definitely do the yoga retreat, but Definitely not in Bali; massively overrated and too far!

Agreed too far- the journey is very long for a week and you will fell jet lag for several days.

Bali is stunning. Kuta if awful, but other parts amazing, Ubud is beautiful if a bit crowded with tourists, but lots of other lovey places

Just go & have a fantastic time.
I split from my ex a couple of years and he has DS, sometimes.
It's weird to identify as something else other than "mummy", but ultimately investing in yourself is a great thing for you & your dd.

It's only a week and it sounds like he's a capable dad. Do it!

It's probably because of the volcano situation that the op can afford it. There are some amazing deals on at the moment if you want to risk it.

No one can tell you the answer to this.

I wouldn't have wanted to leave my 2yo for a week....other people would feel energised by a break.

YANBU to go if you really to as you know your DD will be well looked after.

I used to relish time away from my 2 year olds, and then ache with missing them after 2 days. Mine got distressed, too, if I did more than one night (for work).

And I would love to do a trip like that on my own, but then might feel the loneliness was amplified...

I would do a weekend somewhere, with one or two friends.

But I’m not you, so it’s what will be the best for you.

Long flight for a week. Try Ibiza or the one in Gascony featured in the Daily Fail mag today.

I know I’d feel guilty and miss my toddler too much so wouldn’t. I wouldn’t enjoy it whilst there so it would be a waste for me. Friends with same age children have been for nights abroad and not felt guilty (rightly so!) and had a wonderful time so it really is personal.

Bali...takes ages to get to and although lovely in parts would not be somewhere I would go to again or recommend for a treat.

Most of Bali is absolutely beautiful, although Katu is, indeed,a hole.Too far to travel for a week though IMHO.
I would look closer to home, Croatia maybe, or Spain.

I don't think i would go.
Do something for yourself but honestly o feel Bali is too far away and a week is too long.

Sounds amazing! Do it! You could consider retreats in Spain if you wanted to be closer to home?

The distance is irrelevant. The child won’t know whether you’re in Bognor or Birmingham.

I can’t comment on whether Bali I start worth the money. Look at Rodner Bad Blammau in Austria for luxury nearer to home.
No reason on earth a child should not be with their father whilst you are away. It’s not a stranger or a relative they barely know. The child has stayed over with him before. He should be doing equal parenting and should be allowed to be an equal parent. If the child was unwell he should be able to deal with it.
Go and enjoy.

I went to Bali for 2 weeks and found the travelling tough. Morocco an alternative?

Or Ibiza...

I am going away for a week for my 40th leaving my 2 year old with DH . Going to Dubai😎 I say go for it

GO GO GO!!! I really don’t understand this ‘I wouldn’t go, your dc is too young etc attitude’ their DF is exactly that, their father!

He has 50% parental responsibility. Your dc will enjoy some good one on one time with their Dad, and as an adult and parent he should be more than capable of looking after his child for a week - we do it as mothers all the time, why should it be any different for a father?

And as far as feeling guilty about it being extravagant, if you can afford it then bloody well do what makes you happy! You only get one life after all

You deserve some time.

Personally I would want a flight under 3 hours or so home -

Maybe have a look at some Europe retreats?

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/travel/2017/jan/01/25-of-the-best-yoga-holidays-and-retreats