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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that this lady in Tesco was out of order?

64 replies

mommathatwearspink · 20/01/2018 17:14

We were shopping in Tesco this afternoon when we passed a lady (i'd say she was in her 60's) who was talking to herself. I continued past her to pick up the items I needed but when I turned around she had grabbed our trolley and was talking to DP. She complimented us on our children and their names which was nice but said their eyes are far apart Hmm. However the worst was when she asked whether I was expecting again (DS is 8 months btw), I said no and so she continued to say 'oh so you're still loosing it from this one then' pointing to DS and that she had the same issue. She also made comments about me needing to loose weight.
I have put on 5st over the last 4 years and 2 DC and as I'm only 5ft1 i definitely need to loose some weight but AIBU in thinking that she was out of order for commenting...?

OP posts:
PrincessoftheSea · 20/01/2018 17:15

Yanbu

MrsAndyDayTheFirst · 20/01/2018 17:16

It sounds more likely she had some mh issues. I wouldn’t give it a second thought.

claralaraloo · 20/01/2018 17:16

talking to herself? she's probably got some issues, how about giving her the benefit of the doubt and not only thinking of yourself?

Lelly0503 · 20/01/2018 17:17

It’s still rude!

Fruitcocktail6 · 20/01/2018 17:18

She's sounds unwell so I wouldn't overthink her comments too much if I were you

MrsLinManuelMiranda · 20/01/2018 17:18

You need only value the opinions of those whom you value!

Birdsgottafly · 20/01/2018 17:18

I'd say that there is something going on with her and you should just let it wash over you.

She was talking to herself, being over-familiar and inappropriate, so not in a stable place. She doesn't need slating on SM as well.

Thistlebelle · 20/01/2018 17:18

Yes, she was rude.

Don’t give it any further thought.

Next time move on as soon as someone starts being rude, you don’t have to stand there and take it!

GetOffTheTableMabel · 20/01/2018 17:19

You don’t need to ask on here for confirmation that total strangers shouldn’t discuss your weight with you in the supermarket. It does not feel reasonable to call this woman ‘out of order’ though. Her behaviour was unusual and it is much more likely that she has a mental health issue than that she was being strangely blunt with random shoppers.

ThisLittleKitty · 20/01/2018 17:20

Yanbu but agree sounds like she has mental health

DonnyAndVladSittingInATree · 20/01/2018 17:21

I wouldn’t annoy yourself over it. You’ve nothing to gain by it. Let it go. Some people are rude. Don’t take that on yourself. You’ll likely never see her again. It’s not a problem.

Bluntness100 · 20/01/2018 17:22

She was talking out loud to herself in Tesco. Do you not consider the possibility that instead of being rude she is mentally unwell?

Five stone is a lot of weight to put on, I think I would focus my mental energies more on the potential health implications of that . Unless you were very underweight before, rather than some woman who was likely ill.

KimmySchmidt1 · 20/01/2018 17:24

It sounds like she is lonely and losing the plot a bit - a spot of dimentia Imug she was talking to herself.

WorraLiberty · 20/01/2018 17:30

Very possibly dimentia if she was talking to herself, or some sort of mental health issue.

So I'm afraid being 'out of order' doesn't really come into it.

Sorry your feelings were hurt though.

PoorYorick · 20/01/2018 17:30

It sounds as though she wasn't quite all there, OP. Let it slide.

letsdolunch321 · 20/01/2018 17:32

I wouldn’t take too much notice, she is probably got issues.

You probably made her day speaking to her

PricillaQueenOfTheDesert · 20/01/2018 17:32

So she told you what you already know to be true, ie you are overweight and that’s rude of her is it?

I’d take a rude truth over a honey coated lie any day. But then I’m weird and people often think I’m being rude when I ‘treat’ them to the truth.

Honestly, don’t give it a second thought.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 20/01/2018 17:38

Was she being unreasonable? Who knows? None of us that's for sure. There could be numerous reasons why she behaved like this.

Surely OP you must have thought that too?

Viviennemary · 20/01/2018 17:40

It sounds like she quite possibly had the start of Dementia. I wouldn't take it personally.

ThisLittleKitty · 20/01/2018 17:41

So she told you what you already know to be true, ie you are overweight and that’s rude of her is it?

Yeh because the op didn't bloody ask!! Ffs it's common sense! Do you really not know that going round to people and calling them fat is plain rude?!

hollyisalovelyname · 20/01/2018 17:42

Inappropriate to say it to your face.
She may have dementia or the start of it.

NewYearNewMe18 · 20/01/2018 17:42

Quite possibly an early onset dementia.

So on the face of it rude, but probably out of her remit to correct her thought process.

squishysquirmy · 20/01/2018 17:44

Yes, she was very rude (seriously @PricillaQueenOfTheDesert it IS rude to accost a random stranger and tell them they are overweight. They almost certainly know already anyway so all you're doing is bringing them down when they are not expecting it - what's the point?)

But, like others on here think it sounds like the woman has problems.

Aridane · 20/01/2018 17:45

60 years old so must be dementia Shock

Bluntness100 · 20/01/2018 17:46

Do you really not know that going round to people and calling them fat is plain rude?!

Agree it's rude, you should never tell any stranger the truth ifits unpleasant, thin, fat, bad hair, bad breath, it doesn't matter, you can think it but it's rude to say it. Only compliments or withholding comment is acceptable socially.

Still doesn't detract from the fact if someone is mentally Ill then they may not be able to understand what is and isn't socially acceptable.