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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that this lady in Tesco was out of order?

64 replies

mommathatwearspink · 20/01/2018 17:14

We were shopping in Tesco this afternoon when we passed a lady (i'd say she was in her 60's) who was talking to herself. I continued past her to pick up the items I needed but when I turned around she had grabbed our trolley and was talking to DP. She complimented us on our children and their names which was nice but said their eyes are far apart Hmm. However the worst was when she asked whether I was expecting again (DS is 8 months btw), I said no and so she continued to say 'oh so you're still loosing it from this one then' pointing to DS and that she had the same issue. She also made comments about me needing to loose weight.
I have put on 5st over the last 4 years and 2 DC and as I'm only 5ft1 i definitely need to loose some weight but AIBU in thinking that she was out of order for commenting...?

OP posts:
LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 20/01/2018 17:51

Is 'mental health issues' the new panacea on here for any kind of behaviour that an OP doesn't like? It only needs one person to blurt it out and then everybody follows with the same 'diagnosis'. It really grates.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 20/01/2018 17:51

Is 'mental health issues' the new panacea on here for any kind of behaviour that an OP doesn't like? It only needs one person to blurt it out and then everybody follows with the same 'diagnosis'. It really grates.

Aridane · 20/01/2018 17:51

So she told you what you already know to be true, ie you are overweight and that’s rude of her is it?

I’d take a rude truth over a honey coated lie any day. But then I’m weird and people often think I’m being rude when I ‘treat’ them to the truth.

Yes, I would think you rude too

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 20/01/2018 17:51

Is 'mental health issues' the new panacea on here for any kind of behaviour that an OP doesn't like? It only needs one person to blurt it out and then everybody follows with the same 'diagnosis'. It really grates.

Aridane · 20/01/2018 17:51

So she told you what you already know to be true, ie you are overweight and that’s rude of her is it?

I’d take a rude truth over a honey coated lie any day. But then I’m weird and people often think I’m being rude when I ‘treat’ them to the truth.

Yes, I would think you rude too

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 20/01/2018 17:51

Is 'mental health issues' the new panacea on here for any kind of behaviour that an OP doesn't like? It only needs one person to blurt it out and then everybody follows with the same 'diagnosis'. It grates.

Aridane · 20/01/2018 17:51

So she told you what you already know to be true, ie you are overweight and that’s rude of her is it?

I’d take a rude truth over a honey coated lie any day. But then I’m weird and people often think I’m being rude when I ‘treat’ them to the truth.

Yes, I would think you rude too

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 20/01/2018 17:51

Is 'mental health issues' the new panacea on here for any kind of behaviour that an OP doesn't like? It only needs one person to blurt it out and then everybody follows with the same 'diagnosis'. It really grates.

Amber0685 · 20/01/2018 17:51

Sounds like she has boundary issues, may be MH, dementia. I wouldnt think she was trying to upset you. It does sound as though you do need to lose some weight though for your health which you acknowledge.

Bluntness100 · 20/01/2018 17:53

Do you really not know that going round to people and calling them fat is plain rude?!

Agree it's rude, you should never tell any stranger the truth ifits unpleasant, thin, fat, bad hair, bad breath, it doesn't matter, you can think it but it's rude to say it. Only compliments or withholding comment is acceptable socially.

Still doesn't detract from the fact if someone is mentally Ill then they may not be able to understand what is and isn't socially acceptable.

pasturesgreen · 20/01/2018 17:53

That poor lady sounds unwell, it wouldn't hurt you to cut her some slack.

Aridane · 20/01/2018 17:53

So she told you what you already know to be true, ie you are overweight and that’s rude of her is it?

I’d take a rude truth over a honey coated lie any day. But then I’m weird and people often think I’m being rude when I ‘treat’ them to the truth.

Yes, I would think you rude too

RatRolyPoly · 20/01/2018 17:53

Don't be too sensitive in situations like these, it clearly wasn't personal. I know it's not easy if someone touches a nerve but do try and forget about it.

pasturesgreen · 20/01/2018 17:54

That poor lady sounds unwell, I'd try to cut her some slack and give it a second thought.

RatRolyPoly · 20/01/2018 17:54

Don't be too sensitive in situations like these, it clearly wasn't personal. I know it's not easy if someone touches a nerve but do try and forget about it.

ThisLittleKitty · 20/01/2018 17:54

I wasn't commenting on that though? I thought it was clear I was responding to the comment I highlighted. I already said the lady clearly had some kind of issues.

pasturesgreen · 20/01/2018 17:54

That poor lady sounds unwell, I'd try to cut her some slack and not give it a second thought.

Aspergallus · 20/01/2018 17:54

Oh dear, I think this says more about this lady's mental state than you. Let it go.

Amber0685 · 20/01/2018 17:54

Sounds like she has boundary issues, may be MH, dementia. I wouldnt think she was trying to upset you. It does sound as though you do need to lose some weight though for your health which you acknowledge.

ThisLittleKitty · 20/01/2018 17:54

I wasn't commenting on that though? I thought it was clear I was responding to the comment I highlighted. I already said the lady clearly had some kind of issues.

Huskylover1 · 20/01/2018 17:55

I find that the older people get, the less they care about offending people!

ThisLittleKitty · 20/01/2018 17:56

The woman was apparently talking to herself I think people are basing the mental health on that more than just her talking about the ops weight.

Blackteadrinker77 · 20/01/2018 17:57

@mamawearspink would you approach some one in a super market and tell them they need to lose weight? Of course you wouldn't because you know it is unreasonable and cruel behaviour.

I don't think this lady sounds like she did know.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 20/01/2018 18:00

İ don't think she was being deliberately nasty. I think she'd put her foot in it and didn't know how to continue with the converation. Shes sounds lonely reading between the lines. However that said if some said that to me about my weight I wouldn't be happy, so. I don't blame you for being peeved.

Emmageddon · 20/01/2018 18:00

The opinion which other people have of you is their problem, not yours. Take no notice.