Unmarrried middle class parents...

[RoseWhiteTips]

Unmarried middle-class parents more likely to see their children drop in social status

Children of professional parents who were not married had a 53 per cent chance of being on benefits, compared to 37 per cent for those whose parents had married.
(The Telegraph 20th January 2018)

Would you seriously consider marriage to safeguard the future status of your children?

crumbs - you speak sense.

Marriage ..... advantages amongst the middle classes - one home, one set of bills etc but also strong male and female role models that support children to grow up confidently and free from the stresses of divorce, weekend parenting and the complexity of different rules in different homes. Then there’s the anger, the criticism of the other parents etc. Children are undoubtedly advantaged by stable marriage and this probably does impact on their long term prospects

Exactly. How can unmarried parents provide good role models for their children.

They are beyond hope.

@lipstick the shape of the glass effects the taste hence the different types of wine glasses. You can tell the difference between a normal person and a high functioning alcoholic who tries to mask their drinking as wine snobbery by how many different kinds of wine glasses they have.

LOL at Crumbs.

I was just thinking about the ultimate in broken families. Three out of four of the Queen's children got divorced, leaving young kids to navigate the hell of weekend parenting and two households. Bet all of those offspring are going to end up sponging off the state (oh wait.... they already are apart from Princess Anne's ones). Maybe the stats actually come from the Royal Family.

Ok, so I have flutes for prosecco/champagne
And large glasses I use for any wine
Some hiball for juices

Crumbs haven't you heard of cohabitation?

Battleax I doubt cohabitation exists in The Village.

Probably a bylaw 🙄

I’m not suggesting long term partnerships can’t offer stability and provide good role models but undoubtedly those children who see several men pass through their lives are disadvantaged.
It is also probably a reflection of who chooses to enter into an enduring marriage. However research would suggest that for children the best environment to grow up in is an enduring, loving family created by a married couple. That will upset a number of non marrieds who believe anyone who is married is smug but the evidence is in favour of marriage if children’s future wellbeing is the key consideration.

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3091824/
www.ifs.org.uk/comms/comm114.pdf

Then there’s the anger, the criticism of the other parents etc

I think it's important to note that divorce doesn't always come with anger, criticism of other parents etc.

I definitely agree that children fare well from stable homes. But IMO there is more than one type of "stable home" than the traditional family unit.

I’m not suggesting long term partnerships can’t offer stability and provide good role models but undoubtedly those children who see several men pass through their lives are disadvantaged

So, it's the mother's fault then? Nothing harmful about seeing several women pass through their lives. And 'undoubtedly'?

Out of interest Crumbs, given your emphasis on male and female role models, what is your view on children being raised in same sex marriages? Is that also harmful?

The fact is that having married parents is a protective factor for children. It’s linked to better outcomes in future life.

The fact is that having married parents is a protective factor for children

Surely you've missed the word "happily" there?

*those children who see several men pass through their lives are disadvantaged.
It is also probably a reflection of who chooses to enter into an enduring marriage. *
Yeah, shouldn't have chosen a middle class man that turned out to be an abusive narcissist and way to strong willed, stubborn and twattish in his views. Should have married a lovely builder, or a laid back unemployed spliff head

Tippexy well said.

Does no one ever think of the children?

The fact is that having married parents is a protective factor for children. It’s linked to better outcomes in future life

Yes, but there is also research showing that those from more affluent middle class backgrounds are more likely to get married and less likely to get divorced. So the protection does not necessarily come from marriage, it might come from the fact that the children are being raised in a more affluent home with better educated parents who place value on their children's education.

@speakout is that a serious question?

We absolutely thought of our DD when deciding to separate. She was -and still is- our foremost thought.

My parents stuck it out through thick and thin, shouting and screaming, throwing stuff at each other almost every day. All of us siblings have at least one divorce each. The only happy couple are my co-habiting younger brother and partner

Why would anyone want to have children outside marriage.

Morals are at an all time low.

I’m not suggesting long term partnerships can’t offer stability and provide good role models

Or "one set of bills"?

Morals are at an all time low

And a happy relationship without a bit of paper is indicative of that?!

I'm divorced. Should I get out the scarlet letter?

@rightknockered

that's JUST what we wanted to avoid. We split before any arguments. Neither of us have ever said so much as a wrong word about the other.

He remains a dear friend.

There hasn't been a "string of men" through my door. There's been none. There's been one woman through ex's door. They're now married.

Does no one ever think of the children?

Yeah, it's so much better for the children if their parents stay together regardless of whether they are happy. Really good role modelling there.

FWIW, a friend of mine grew up in an unhappy home with unhappily married parents who taught her that divorce is always wrong. She is now married to a verbally and financially abusive twat and has no money to spend on herself or the kids while he indulges in countless luxuries. She wouldn't dream of divorcing him though (although I hope she changes her mind soon). I wouldn't say her parents were good role models. I think one of the most important things you can teach your child, especially a female child, is that you should never have to put up with being treated like dirt by your spouse or partner.

I looked for the report. The link on the webpage of the Marriage Foundation is broken. You appear to have read it, OP, you surely wouldn't start this thread on the strength of a 300 word article in the Telegraph. Please link the report.

speakout always posts in that outre, bitchplop, "I want a reaction" manner Jacques. Engaging is a dead end.

Why would anyone want to have children outside marriage

Are you a troll or something?