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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Baby sleeping in my arms

65 replies

Bananarama12 · 19/01/2018 22:00

I have a 10 week old DS who I co sleep with and he doesn't like his moses basket so in the day either naps on me or in the pram/carrier when out and about.
I haven't persevered with the moses basket because he wakes up and ruins his nap and then we have to start the whole getting to sleep cycle again.

My DP is now telling me it's not good for him to sleep in our arms and he needs to get used to sleeping by himself. We have had an argument because I think that's bloody ridiculous.

He may be my only child because I had a horrible pregnancy and not keen on doing it again so I want to enjoy his cuddles for as long as I can.

AIBU by refusing to keep trying to get him to sleep elsewhere???

OP posts:
TheQueenOfWands · 19/01/2018 22:02

I barely put DS drown for the first year.

Make the most of it. Soon he'll be a 6' 14 year old who tries to escape from your hugs.

LokiBear · 19/01/2018 22:05

I agree with you. It's bloody lovely.

Mustardnowletsnotbesilly · 19/01/2018 22:06

I agree with you.

MonkeysMummy17 · 19/01/2018 22:07

Enjoy the cuddles, they're only that small for so long

OptimisticHamster · 19/01/2018 22:07

You never know when you'll suddenly realise that you've had the last 'asleep in my arms' and then you'll sorely miss it.

Discusting · 19/01/2018 22:07

Don’t put him down. Won’t be long before he is off doing his own thing and won’t need/want the cuddles anymore. Enjoy every second.

Merryoldgoat · 19/01/2018 22:07

I still adore sleeping with my son and he's nearly 5. It's absolutely lovely.

Chaosofcalm · 19/01/2018 22:07

As long as you are cosleeping safely then your husband is talking bollocks. Cuddling is essential to your baby’s development and it is impossible to cuddle a baby too much (expect if they are a toddler and you are preventing them for playing).

There is load of research about the importance of cuddle and the fourth trimester. Tell him to come back to you after he has done some proper research.

Research on general baby sleep and about how to safely cosleep can be found here.

Baubletrouble43 · 19/01/2018 22:07

Same here. Have only just stopped cuddling our twins to sleep and they are 13 months. And BTW the transition was fairly painless so blah to all that making a rod for your back nonsense!

Missymoo100 · 19/01/2018 22:08

My baby used to be same-
For first few month she never wanted to be put down- but then, think from about 3 month , she became a great sleeper and still is age 2, (sleeps 7-8am) so never did her any harm!
Generally most health care professionals have reached the consensus that you can't spoil a baby by too much holding- this view is out of date. Enjoy your cuddles while they last, the time soon goes by!

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 19/01/2018 22:08

I wish I had done this with ds1, when he was a baby. He would only nap for 10 minutes in the Moses basket (I nearly put ‘the ironing basket’ there Blush), but I kept on trying to get him to sleep there, whilst I got on with other things. It took far too long for me to realise that it was more important for both of us to get a decent rest, than for me to dust the mantelpiece!

Do what works for you and your baby - this newborn phase won’t last forever, and the baby will probably settle down to napping in the cot or Moses basket in time, but whilst he won’t settle anywhere but on you, that’s what you need to do.

And if other people criticise, or say their babies slept happily for hours in their prom or wherever, just remember that all babies are different, and we each do what is best for the baby we get.

Snowysky20009 · 19/01/2018 22:09

Cuddle your baby and enjoy it, ignore him

TrinitySquirrel · 19/01/2018 22:09

My last sleep in my arms as a small baby was also the last time I breastfed my 7m old. He was 3m old at the time and then suddenly grew too big or heavy to rock him like that. Now he sits in my lap and may snooze but it's nothing like those first few months.

Who's chopping onions? Not me. Nope. Sad

CommonFishDiseases · 19/01/2018 22:09

This is gorgeous Flowers Reassure your DH it won't last forever and that you still love him Wink But right now, you are trusting your instinct and giving your baby just what he needs. You are a great mum Star

TruJay · 19/01/2018 22:10

Oh you can't spoil a child with cuddles or them being held. Op do what you think feels right, you're his mum.

Both of mine loved their moses so I can't help with the sleeping but all babies are different and hinestkybthere is urging better than those tiny baby snuggles, they grow so quickly. I'm sure he won't be in your bed at 14

lightcola · 19/01/2018 22:10

An older family member of mine told me I shouldn’t let my baby control the situation. Oh how I laughed. Second child in I’ve realised you just need to do what you need to do and remember it won’t be forever. Just sit back and enjoy the ride

TruJay · 19/01/2018 22:12

hinestkybthere is urging sorry what now?

Should say, nothing is better

0hCrepe · 19/01/2018 22:15

I don’t know where this idea that cuddling babies is bad for them came from. It is one of the greatest joys in my life and also makes getting my baby to sleep enjoyable for her and me. My youngest is 15m now and my last. You are right it will go very quickly I can’t ever imagine being too busy that I can’t spare a bit of time to cuddle my little one to sleep.

JeansAndANiceTop · 19/01/2018 22:16

I agree with you.
Wholeheartedly.
My DS is almost 7 months and I’m going back to work next month. We co sleep, safety, and he naps on me. It is magical. We both sleep better.
Do what is right for you and your DS.

And if anyone, anyone, tells you you’re building a rod for your own back tell them they can shove said rod right up their arse.

SentinelWoo · 19/01/2018 22:17

Carry on and enjoy the cuddles!

DS has gradually and randomly become more willing to nap alone over the months, but I’m still more than happy to just cuddle him during nap time.

TooMinty · 19/01/2018 22:18

10 weeks is early to be worrying about where baby naps. Does your DH get nice baby snuggles too or is he jealous? I think I did cot naps from 6 months onwards but it is up to you - the main thing is that the wee one gets enough sleep.

Ginmakesitallok · 19/01/2018 22:19

Enjoy it while you can - in no time they'll be 13 and telling you to get out of their room.

DasPepe · 19/01/2018 22:19

In addition to everything everyone said.
co sleeping is also better for you as you don't "listen out" for the baby monitor or the baby crying if they are right there.

On the subject of OP. How old is he? And do you sleep in the same bed?
If yes, then how can a grown man enjoy company of someone else in bed (even just knowing they are there) but a 10 week old who needs security and safety is supposed to sleep on their own. Lots going on in their heads: they must have lots of weird dreams. If I have a strange dream or a nightmare and wake up in the middle of the night I always feel better knowing I'm not alone. Why do that to a baby?

ChocolateChipMuffin2016 · 19/01/2018 22:20

My DS is 14 months, he slept in my arms today and it was lovely! He always napped on me when he was tiny and I don’t regret a second of it! I did worry when he first went to his Childminder but he soon settled into a routine with her and he is now perfectly capable of napping on his own now and he sleeps in his own cot at night so no rods!!
Honestly, cuddle your baby as much as you can! You’ll never regret it!!