Boss blanked me. Upset

[icenasliceplease]

Ok. So went out to a pub tonight for a drink.
In walks my 'current' boss. She sees me I know she does does an about turn and completely blanks me (turns her back to me)
Am I BU to be upset?
what drives people like this?
I would never be this rude. Probably explains why I will never be a 'Boss'

I won't lie. It did throw me a bit.

Boss here. She probably thought oh ffs i just want to have a few beers without making trite covo s. No one is that important.

Maybe she has face blindness.

She probably didn’t see you. Or maybe she was having a bit of a bad day and didn’t want to chat to anyone apart from who she was with. Either way don’t choose to take it personally. Not everything is about you.

Why didn't u say hello or acknowledge her?

I'm not very aware of what goes on around me and sometimes don't c people out of context. When a person raises this with me I'm often startled because I really haven't seen them.

face blindness is deffo a thing - my husband has it and has been unintentionally rude on many an occasion.

But she could also be one of those people who keeps a boundary between work and social life - and she might have also assumed you also wouldn't want to bump into a colleague on a night out. To be honest, if I saw someone from work on in the pub I would probably try to avoid them. You've no way of knowing she was being rude, so why assume the worst?

I am always relieved when my boss ignores me. She does it very often but I wish she did it more tbh. Never seen her outside of work thank goodness.

aquashiv, your post! I'm embarrassed for you.

Embarrassed lyingWItch, really?
I agree with aquashiv frankly

There are at least 10 reasons she could have reacted the way she did, that don’t involve her purposefully being rude to you.
Reading such a dramatic OP, I can't really blame the boss for trying to stay away out of the office.
Both these ^^ Why make such a fuss? It's not like you went up and spoke to her and she deliberately turned her back on you - that would be rude. This is just meh.

Oh dear. That is the action of a massively high drama high maintenance child. Anyone not wanting to be disturbed and a grow up would have the presence of mind to say hi, sorry I can't chat, take care.
I'd be on my guard in an environment where the manager thinks blanking people is a way to get things done.

“YABU she doesn’t want to socialise with you.”

So you don’t think it is at all rude to totally ignore someone you know, when an acknowledgement of their existence is the polite thing to do Rainboho?
Are you the boss or completely devoid of any good manners and social awareness?

“If I saw someone I didn't want to interact with in a situation, and I hadn't realised that they had seen me, I might do the same as your 'current' boss. I hate having to make forced small talk when I'm not expecting it so for me YABU.”

You don’t have to make small talk or polite chit chat. Just say hello and move on. It is downright rude and pathetically childish to deliberately ignore someone. Weren’t you ever taught good manners ? And if you were a people manager and found it too awkward to acknowledge one of your employees I would question whether you had the right skills to be their boss.

If she genuinely does have face blindness then ignore the above. Is she like this at work?

Shasta, I expect you're the type too. Thinking that your role is some kind of defining point. Cringe.

It's like the mansplainers that come on, "Male here".

She might not have seen you. I've had someone I know come right up, stand in front of me to say hi and it's still taken me a few seconds before I realised who they were.

Maybe they didn't want you to feel obliged to talk to them. Although sounds like they may not have actually seen you or didn't recognise you out of your normal workwear!

I wouldn't be losing any sleep over it or hold it against them!

I agree with lying saying ''boss here'' is a bit embarrassing as the point is surely that we're all slightly different versions of ourselves AT WORK. Clarifying that you understand this awful dilemma from THE BOSS's pov made me smirk before I even scrolled down and read lying's comments.

I still reckon the boss was up to no good meeting an OLD date somebody else's husband an ugly man ! She didn't want you telling the office that her 'date' was no looker :-p or that her best friend looked like she could be off Towie or something.

I was once coming out of arrivals at an airport, and there was a man in my way. I walked around him. He went around me again and stood in front of me, blocking my way. I had a closer look. He was my brother.

(I was expecting to meet family, but not him.)

Maybe she wanted to or was already hammered and didn't want it discussed in office.

I've work remotely now so thankfully don't have this issue anymore but previous I've quickly pretended i haven't seen my past boss or colleagues before and walk out or turned around etc to avoid it. I found the thought of having to even have a quick convo with them too stressful, I wouldn't keep worrying about it, if she's inappropriate at work contact hr, outside of work if she's just avoiding, don't take it personally.

Their are parents I know well at DD school who I've stood next to in reception, then walked away from, and only realised afterwards who they were and that I hadn't said hello. They may well have spoken to me and I didn't respond, as I hadn't registered their existence and their words might have been filtered out by my general noise filter. (The latter is speculation - I'm not sure that I'd fail to realise if someone standing next to me was speaking to me.)

She probably just hasn't really seen you. I do this all the time. Eyesight is shocking.

I also don't recognise people outside of their normal environments so the fact she has done this twice indicates that's likely. I have even done it to my husband!!!

Or she was meeting someone she shouldn't.

Whatever her reasons, in your posts it comes across that you really dislike and despise this woman, so maybe you were right to put "current" as you should maybe be looking for another job?

You didn't say hello either and you did see her.

I reckon that’s because people compartmentalise their life, you are part of the ‘work’ box and don’t exist outside of that. She perhaps didn’t know how to react to you in a different setting where you are equals, e.g. she is not a boss and chose to pretend she doesn’t see you. Still rude but could be an explanation.