Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want an older sibling at my dd's birthday party?

65 replies

SpookyMadMummy · 27/04/2007 12:55

Ok. This may be a long one!
It's dd2's 3rd birthday in a fortnight. Its a joint party though with dd1. Dd1's birthday is just before christmas and a party then is unfeasable so we said they could have one together.
Anyway, I booked soft play for them. Now, dd2 knows quite alot of dd1's friends so we set out a list. One of these friends has a 12 yo older sister and her father insists thst she should come! This girl is not very nice to me tbh, I find her impolite. She used to be fine but I caught her out telling lies. So I basically don't want her there. AIBU??

OP posts:
NuttyMuffins · 27/04/2007 12:56

No you are not.

katzg · 27/04/2007 12:58

i think the dad is trying to get afternoon off by leaving both children - its your say no if you dont want her there

adath · 27/04/2007 12:58

No not really, I could maybe undersatnd a paretn bringing a younger child who they may not have anyone to look after or something but a 12 year old at a soft play party I would put my foot down and say no.

hana · 27/04/2007 12:58

of course not
I've had parties for dd1 at home and I've said to parents the invite was just for dd's friend, not their siblings. House just not big enough to accomodate

Original poster
SpookyMadMummy · 27/04/2007 12:59

yes I could accept younger children, there are a couple of babies coming as younger siblings.
The place is booked exclusively for 15 kids, and any older than babies extra i will be charged £15 a head for!

OP posts:
dionnelorraine · 27/04/2007 13:00

No you are not being unreasonable! How old is your dd1?
I would explain to the father that there is a limited number of people that can go

pinkspottywellies · 27/04/2007 13:00

No! He can organise his own party if he wants to decide who goes.

Pamina · 27/04/2007 13:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
SpookyMadMummy · 27/04/2007 13:02

dd1 is 5 btw, dd2 will be 3

OP posts:
harman · 27/04/2007 13:02

Message withdrawn

dionnelorraine · 27/04/2007 13:04

Takes the piss abit doesnt it! The cheek of him! Why would a 12 yr old want to go to a 3 and 5 yr old party? Bizarre!!
I would put my foot down and say no! Limited space!

Original poster
SpookyMadMummy · 27/04/2007 13:05

Harman, soft play booked exclusively for my dd's Party. I think I am going to say if he wants his 5 yo to come fine, but not the 12 yo. If childcare is an issue then he should send his 5 yo with another parent? yes?

OP posts:
slimmerjim · 27/04/2007 13:06

At 12, couldn't she be left at home anyway for a bit while he picks up/drops off his younger child ?

lulumama · 27/04/2007 13:07

definitely

or let him pay £15 extra....sounds like he is looking to offload the kids

does he know you caught his daughter out telling lies

dionnelorraine · 27/04/2007 13:07

Yes! Or just turn down the invitation for the 5 yr old!? sounds a bit harsh , I know but what would you rather?

Original poster
SpookyMadMummy · 27/04/2007 13:08

Yes. Lulu, He knows. He did nothing about it though

OP posts:
dionnelorraine · 27/04/2007 13:08

He sounds like a lovely parent!

suzywong · 27/04/2007 13:09

that's off especially when you are presumably having to pay per head for each attending child

Why not say sorry this time but arrange an after school playdate for older daughter another (yeah right, 12th of never) day.

FWIW I just know gawky unpleasant older sister of ds1's mate will tag along to ds1's birthday party tomorrow and pretend to be a little kid and do a comedic whine when she doesn't get a lolly bag on departure, at least she did last year

hope you can get it sorted

LIZS · 27/04/2007 13:10

no way, a 12yr old , particularly one you dislike and won't be helpful, doesn't fit into your plans at all. Tell him numbers are limited so no ! Surely she wouldn't enjoy soft play anyway at that age.

slimmerjim · 27/04/2007 13:11

I wouldn't hesitate to be very firm with a parent like this who seems thick skinned enough to INSIST that his 12 yo come to a little ones' party she's not invited to. I could just about understand it (though would never be so forceful myself in making such a request) if she was very close in age to her sibling who was invited. But 12??

harman · 27/04/2007 13:17

Message withdrawn

Original poster
SpookyMadMummy · 27/04/2007 13:25

Shall I ask Cod to go round to his house and call him a freak???

OP posts:
Twinkie1 · 27/04/2007 13:30

God no - had it done twice to me where a mum dropped her daughter same age as DD off and also her younger daughter who was not invited and luckily was as good as gold and had extra party bags organised - but a 12 year old????

Just say sorry but space is limited and you can't see that it would interest a 12 year old.

idlemum · 27/04/2007 13:30

The last time we booked a similar party for our dd she wanted to invite all her cousins, one of whom was 11 and we were told by the centre that soft play was for up to 9 years old. The reason was mainly one of health&safety - some of the equipment not suitable and also a large child poses a danger to all the little tots on e.g.the bouncy castle. I'll bet your place has a similar rule so you can tell the dad she can't come.

WigWamBam · 27/04/2007 13:33

I've just booked a soft play place for dd's birthday party, and the upper age limit is 12 - I think that's pretty standard. So the chances are that she wouldn't be able to join in with the play or the food anyway.

Just say she can't come - it's then up to him whether the younger child attends or not.

Swipe left for the next trending thread