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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want an older sibling at my dd's birthday party?

65 replies

SpookyMadMummy · 27/04/2007 12:55

Ok. This may be a long one!
It's dd2's 3rd birthday in a fortnight. Its a joint party though with dd1. Dd1's birthday is just before christmas and a party then is unfeasable so we said they could have one together.
Anyway, I booked soft play for them. Now, dd2 knows quite alot of dd1's friends so we set out a list. One of these friends has a 12 yo older sister and her father insists thst she should come! This girl is not very nice to me tbh, I find her impolite. She used to be fine but I caught her out telling lies. So I basically don't want her there. AIBU??

OP posts:
Original poster
SpookyMadMummy · 27/04/2007 13:40

I am half expecting him to say if the 12 yo can't go then the 5 yo can't. We will see....

OP posts:
WanderingTrolley · 27/04/2007 13:56

Sounds like even the dad thinks the 12year old is a pita and wants rid for an hour or two.

Scour the terms and conditions of the soft play place - is there anything in there that could be construed to exclude the 12year old?

No wonder poor 12year old is less than darling when her father "insists" on her attending party to which she is not invited.

I think a firm "No" is the only way to go, unfortunately.

lisad123 · 27/04/2007 14:01

I would tell him that you have booked the party already and numbers are already confirmed and paid for. I would explain its little children's party, not for older one. If that dont work, tell him to sod off, your not his babysitter!
L

idlemum · 27/04/2007 14:02

Just wanted to add to my earlier post that I think the dad is being totally unreasonable. What I don't get is that presumably, if there was no party he would have both girls anyway so why cannot he take advantage of the fact that if the younger one is at the party he can do something more grown up with the 12 year old and surely he doesn't have to do much with a 12 year old anyway. Is the 12 year old going to make some sort of fuss that the younger one is going to a party and she isn't? What possible interest could a 12 year old have in a 5 year old's party?

Hulababy · 27/04/2007 14:04

Just say no, that it wouldn't be appropriate as she is so much older than the little ones, and the whole party is being designed to suit their needs, not of a near teenager. Offer to supervise the younger one whilst he leaves with older one maybe? Or suggest someone who might be abe to bring the younger child.

Also check out the upper age limit of soft play. Many say age 10/12 are the upper limis.

slimmerjim · 27/04/2007 14:10

My ds2 is nearly 12. There's NO WAY he'd be remotely interested in being at a soft play party for 5 year olds. My dd is 8, and apart from last year when she had a cookery party, he and ds1 don't even go to her parties either ! I also have a 3yo who hasn't had a party yet; when he's 4 Idon't think any of his siblings would want to be AT his party as such (though they may be roped in to "help" )

Very strange all round...

nappyaddict · 27/04/2007 14:27

shes 12!! she is not going to enjoy soft play unless it is one of those huge ones which has the vertical slides and whatnot.

heiferCROCloather · 27/04/2007 14:39

Tell him to Heif Off Spooky..

Completely out of order... bet he just wants to stay at home and watch the footie... um thinking about it, can DD come along?...

DaisyMOO · 27/04/2007 14:51

Watch out on the day that he doesn't do a runner and leave the 12 year old behind anyway!

edam · 27/04/2007 14:52

Blimey, dad is being unreasonable IMO, why on earth would a 12 yo want to go to a 3yo's party? And why on earth should the parent of the 3yo invite a 12yo?

Agree he probably wants some free childcare. Cheeky sod.

nalleeeeeeeeeeeeeee · 27/04/2007 14:53

I would say its only for little ones, so she can't come! I have done this before. Fortunately the parents have been good about it though.

mckenzie · 27/04/2007 14:56

agree with DaisyMoo to watch out on the day. A parent left his 5 year old DS at my DS's party last year and it wasn't until the entertainer got started and the children all sat down that we realised the dad had also left us his 3 year old DD . The boy was one of DS's school friends and we didn't even know the 3 year old sister!!

chocolattegirl · 27/04/2007 15:09

Poor kid!! Why can't he take her to the cinema or something whilst the younger one plays? I'd have been bored out of my skull if I'd had to attend a soft play party at the age of 12 and cringing in case my mates heard about it. Children are allowed to do things without their elder or younger siblings being foisted on people as well.

Original poster
SpookyMadMummy · 27/04/2007 15:52

Thank you all for your replies. He didn't say anything when I gave him the invite with pointedly only one name on! I have sid it is only for the little ones and if he has problems with childcare then I would find a parent to take his younger dd, if we are unable to.
Heifer you can of course bring your dd
The soft play is only a small one, designed for children with a maximum age of about 12 so yes, I agreee there is nothing there really for a 12 yo and I have told him so.

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heiferCROCloather · 27/04/2007 16:01

Well done Spooky, you did well to get it sorted..

By the way - I don't want to bring DD, I want to stay at home while she goes.... so if you could come and pick her up the day before and bring her home the next after te party that would be great...

heiferCROCloather · 27/04/2007 16:01

Well done Spooky, you did well to get it sorted..

By the way - I don't want to bring DD, I want to stay at home while she goes.... so if you could come and pick her up the day before and bring her home the next after te party that would be great...

Original poster
SpookyMadMummy · 27/04/2007 16:02

Heifer... Put her on a train

OP posts:
heiferCROCloather · 27/04/2007 16:12

Far enough Spooky,

Hope your DDs have a great birthday and you get to rest while they play....

2shoes · 27/04/2007 17:03

can I put ds on the train?

Original poster
SpookyMadMummy · 27/04/2007 17:21

2shoes.. I am gonna be at Sheffield station a fortnight tomorrow awaiting mnetters' children.. so yes!!

OP posts:
2shoes · 27/04/2007 17:24

he is 15 though

Original poster
SpookyMadMummy · 27/04/2007 17:25

he can wash up

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themaskedposter · 27/04/2007 17:29

Hey Spooky!!

well done organising the party and everything

I am still trying to decide what to do for my dds and the date is fast approaching

ARGHHHHHHHHHHH

hope the day goes well, but no doubt I will speak to you before that

2shoes · 27/04/2007 17:29

lol by the way you are not unreasonable. i once wouldn't invite one of dd;s friends as her dad would have come(sn) and I don't like her dad

Original poster
SpookyMadMummy · 27/04/2007 17:30

Put P on the train too!

{has a quick count, takes shoes and socks off....}

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