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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be getting a bit pissed off with this now?

72 replies

Thurlow · 19/01/2018 12:06

I'm fairly certain I am, I possibly just need the whinge.

DD is 6 next week. I'm arranging her first proper, large birthday party at a venue. I've done all the research for it, found the right place, arranged it, helped her write her list and her invites, asked a few other parents to stay and help, planned the food, bought the party bags and the bunting and all that malarkey.

We decided to get her a bike as a present. This is DP's ONE job to do. Find (he's obsessed with getting the right one, we've already had a row about this as he was looking at bigger bikes that weren't really suitable for someone who hasn't had a bike before) and order or collect the bike. That's it.

He's off today. He's lying on the sofa "tired" and says he'll go get the bike another day. Which means at the weekend, which means he'll go out leaving me with both children while he probably spends 2 hours making his mind up, instead of going today when we don't have the kids with us.

Such a little thing I know but it's royally fucking me off now. He's shown NO interest at all in the party, hasn't once asked if there is anything he can do. She's 6, this is a big deal for her. He's great with everything else, housework and looking after the kids and all that, it's just this is bringing home that birthdays and Christmas always end up falling to me to sort and he seems to magically expect it either to happen or, if he has to get involved, I will TELL him what needs to be done after doing all the thinking.

Maybe I just need more coffee today but for someone reason this has royally narked me...

OP posts:
letsdolunch321 · 19/01/2018 12:09

Tell him to get off his lazy arse and go get the bike.

Ffs, you give them one job to do and you would think it was the world you were asking for.

Men .... huh

Notasperfectasallothermners · 19/01/2018 12:09

What happens regarding his family's gifts? Does he get those or do you?

SleepySheepy · 19/01/2018 12:11

Tell him how you feel, and how you don't want him to go on the weekend when you could be having family time together.

TELL HIM! Tell him to go today!

Thurlow · 19/01/2018 12:11

He does, but he only has to buy for his parents so tends to just get simple things like vouchers or wine.

Yes, one thing, ONE THING!

OP posts:
Blackteadrinker77 · 19/01/2018 12:14

I can't believe a six year old has never had a bike before.

Do you think he will let her down and not get it?

I know if my husband told me when to do everything I'd tell him to but out.

Thurlow · 19/01/2018 12:14

Oh, and he can't go and get it now as he has an appointment soon that means he won't be able to drive for the rest of the day. So I'm pissed off because he missed his opportunity.

I can't make up my mind whether I want to keep mentioning it or now just keep completely schtum about it until about 3pm on Sunday...

OP posts:
Thurlow · 19/01/2018 12:16

I can't believe a six year old has never had a bike before

And this is why I love MN sometimes Grin

OP posts:
GreatDuckCookery6211 · 19/01/2018 12:17

That's so unfair of him. Personally I wouldn't let it drop but would continue to point out that you've done everything as promised so far for DDs party and that he's being royally unfair.

Sprinklestar · 19/01/2018 12:18

Order an Isla bike online. She’ll be cycling in ten minutes. No stabilizers. My DD was away on one at four, my DS at three! Totally worth the money.

Thurlow · 19/01/2018 12:21

They're very nice looking bikes!

OP posts:
findyourbacon · 19/01/2018 12:26

I can't believe a six year old has never had a bike before.

Really? There are plenty of reasons why a six year old wouldn't have a bike!! Space, cost to name two!!

Anyway OP - I feel your pain - that sounds really frustrating. I would also tell him that he needs to sort it today, and all the reasons why.

nocampinghere · 19/01/2018 12:26

yes definitely get an Isla bike.
they are so light and easy to ride compared to heavy clunky bikes.

they are a small fortune BUT you'll get most of it back on ebay.

whifflesqueak · 19/01/2018 12:26

We bought an Early Rider Belter for 3 year old ds and he was cycling without stabilisers in minutes.

I know this isn’t your job but it would be a shame for your dd to get a barely first considered bike because her dad was a bit feckless.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 19/01/2018 12:31

Yy to an Isla bike. They retain their value really well to for when you sell it on.

AnElderlyLadyOfMediumHeight · 19/01/2018 12:31

Mine were sixish when they started with bikes. Perhaps one was 5, but definitely no younger than that. Had balance bikes before.

Honestly? If he's genuinely great with all the day-to-day stuff, I'd cut him some slack. I'm chief birthday/Christmas organiser round here too, but there is stuff dh does that I just don't have to bother with, so it evens out. He can take the non-birthday child with him to get the bike, though, if he doesn't do it today.

Thurlow · 19/01/2018 12:32

For fucks sake, now he's saying he doesn't like the bikes in our local high street store and wants to get one from another store, which would have been fine if there was a) one near us or b) time for delivery but there's neither!!!

Oh my God I'm going to belt him with something soon. (I'm not really, before anyone says anything)

OP posts:
Weezol · 19/01/2018 12:34

Lean right down to his ear and say in very measured tones 'If you think I will get the bike organised you are mistaken. If you think I will tell our DD some tale to cover up for your failure to get the bike you are wrong. If there is no bike on her birthday it will be up to you to explain to DD'.

And do not mention it again. Not even a tiny hint. He thinks you're going to sort it out if he leaves it long enough. Because you always do. It's time to put a stop to it.

Sweetpotatoaddict · 19/01/2018 12:36

Yip agree with the Isla Bike suggestion. Believe frog bikes are supposed to be good also.
Even if you don't buy an Isla their website has fab tips and video about teaching your child to ride.
Our son was riding very quickly using the videos and any of his friends that use his bike seem to much better on it. The geometry is just perfect for children.

MsGameandWatching · 19/01/2018 12:38

I can't believe a six year old has never had a bike before.

My 11 year old didn't get one till she was 9. Is it really such an remarkable thing? Confused

Thurlow · 19/01/2018 12:46

I didn't think it was remarkable either. Most of her friends only got their first bike, one of those Halfords jobs with stabilisers, the summer they were around 5. She's at the later end of getting one, but tbh part of that reason is that her birthday is in the middle of winter, whereas many of her friends got one for their 5th birthday in the spring and summer, while she was definitely not interested or co-ordinated enough to have one for her 5th birthday.

He's sulking now. He says he found one 8 days ago and I rejected it. Which I kind of did, in that I said I had seen a friend's child on one of these larger 6+ BMX/mountain bike jobs and it looked massive and she struggled with it, so I wasn't entirely sure that was the best first bike for DD. So that's all fair. No idea why it was fine for him to forget it for the next week though.

OP posts:
orangeisafruitandcolour · 19/01/2018 12:47

Tbh in this case I would go and buy the bike myself.
I would go out tomorrow to get it, leave him at home with the kids, buy the bike that is suitable should not take very long.
Then take the rest of the day to do whatever you would like to do leaving his useless arse to manage everything at home.

Want2bSupermum · 19/01/2018 12:49

I'm with weezol. He is expecting you to sort it. Don't. Let him deal with the fall out with your DD.

Blackteadrinker77 · 19/01/2018 12:49

Wow, 9 really. Why?

This really is strange to me, my daughters were riding at 3 and my step son at 5.

By the age of 6 we could do 10 mile family bike rides. And by 9 much further.

Blackteadrinker77 · 19/01/2018 12:50

Sorry OP, shouldn't take your thread off track.

jack2001 · 19/01/2018 12:54

Seriously how hard is it to find a bike.

  1. Go to bike shop
  2. Ask for advice on bike for 6 year old
  3. Buy bike