To think it rude / incredibly frustrating to not RSVP?

[Journea]

Just that really. We sent out DS’s birthday party invites a few weeks ago. RSVP date has now passed and we are still awaiting at least 12 replies.
Do I just take it that they’re not coming? Would I be unreasonable to send a reminder slip out asking for a simple yes / no..!?! Some people have replied to say they can’t come and therefore we have then invited other children who DS wanted to invite originally but we didn’t have room for. It’s a party where we need to provide numbers beforehand so we really do need to know for sure.
What is the children’s party etiquette? Who’d have thought that children’s parties were so stressful even before the actual event!

Some people are adverts for condoms

Yes, send a reminder. But also be prepared for those who decide on the day as ugs raining or therenis nothing else to do. Few extra ehelping s of food and a couple of extra party bags.

It is so annoying. Its has never been easier to contact someone yet ......... I have moved to Sweden and its even worse.

I'd want to just assume they weren't coming and then if they did turn up say tough shit but really it's probably better to do a slip saying if you don't hear from them by x date then you'll assume it's a no.

That's very frustrating. I would just contact them with a general reminder, saying you are trying to stay as organised as possible and need to know how many people to ensure you cater for the correct numbers! That's so difficult for you though, I hope people reply!

I've done loads of parties and I think my RSVP success rate is around 70%.

I usually find myself hunting down parents in the school playground the day before, and even then some don't want to give a definite yes/no!

Send out a reminder and say if they don't let you know before the party their child will not be admitted.

I chase them up once. If I have to chase them the second year they are invited I never invite them again.

When is the party?

For future reference 'a few weeks ago' is possibly too much time.

Better to

• send out early Week 1,
• RSVP deadline end Week 2,
• party end Week 3.

I had that once with a nursery school. Had replies from about 50% so sent out a gentle chaser which elicited a few more replies. Ended up sending a (hopefully friendly sounding.......) note to say that we hoped X could come but if we didn't hear we'd assume they couldn't make it.

I think it's fine to chase - good luck!

I think in future you should put on each invitation "Sorry, due to being messed about previously, please phone or text me to confirm attendance by DATE otherwise I'll be giving the places to other children."

This drives me mad and is the reason why I refuse to do birthday parties anymore (just take dc out for a special day out with one or two best friends now). IME, those who didn’t reply don’t ever turn up on the day. I used to do a few extra party bags just in case but I’ve never had anyone who didn’t RSVP turn up. I know others on here have had different experiences, and my dd2’s birthday is always in the first week of summer holidays so it’s a crap time of year to try and organise anything.

It's very frustrating, and so rude. My son is having a party tomorrow in a hired hall and ten people out of 30 have not replied either a yes or no.
I've made extra of everything for 5 in case some come but if all ten come they can whistle for party bags or taking cakes home.

Ooh Cheerybigbottom you’ll have to update in whether they do indeed turn up...

I thought by giving plenty of notice then it would be helpful for people but that seems to have backfired. They shall be blacklisted and struck off of next year’s invite list!
Maybe that’s the new thing to do on party invites... to include a footnote reading if you’ve not replied by X then don’t bother turning up!
The party is next weekend so I shall be armed with chasing slips on Monday morning!

People do get busy and forget. I would chase up but be friendly! Pls let me know by X date so I can ensure I’ve got enlightened food a drink. Thanks

Enough.. not enlightened 😂

I had this, I'm assuming those that haven't replied by the date I gave aren't coming and as I've confirmed numbers with the venue I hope none of them turn up else I'll feel like a wicked witch turning them away
Why can't people just send a quick text saying thanks and yes/no? It takes seconds!

Should say, my DD's party is tomorrow!

I would send out a reminder.

I have always put an RSVP date on any invites, I give people 24 hours after that in case they have been busy and running late and then after that I send any non-responders a quick "Hi, RSVP date for DDs party on X date has passed and we haven't heard from you. I was wondering if is coming so please let me know asap. If I dont hear from you by I will assume is unable to attend and know not to expect them. Thanks!"

If - like you - it is a party where numbers need confirming with the venue I set my RSVP date a few days before the venue confirmation date and change the second sentence to "I need to know if is coming asap as the venue requires confirmation of the final numbers by tomorrow."

That usually gets any straggling RSVPs in, and any who don't respond to that 99% of the time don't turn up.

Also if it is a venue where you pay per head I usually just pre pay for the number who have RSVPed yes because that way if i have invited 15, 10 have RSVPed yes and the others havent RSVPed then I'm only paying for 10 kids. If 12 kids turn up on the day most venues are more than happy to let you pay for a couple of extra places ... but if you've already paid for 15 places many won't refund the extra places, even if they're unused.

Next year he can just invite a friend round for tea

UsuallyJustLurk I totally agree... it doesn’t take a lot surely to check your calendar and say yes / no.
You need to update after your DD’s party on whether the non RSVPers did indeed turn up or not...

It's bloody annoying when people don't RSVP.

Luckily for some reason I've always had about a 99% reply rate, last year we had 40 kids invited (I know ) and I knew pretty early on who could/couldn't come except two people. Both came in the end which was fine as it wasn't limited on numbers. Actually I was fine with the person who didn't RSVP, but the other one did so on the morning of the party and I felt that was more rude than not replying at all!!

I do try and reply to invites as soon as I get them but if I don't do it straight away I tend to forget. A reminder never hurts.

If the party is tomorrow, I think you've left it a bit late for reminders though. Assume they aren't coming.

@Journea well i checked earlier and only 4 hasn't rsvp'd but I only have contact details for two of the parents. So I sent a polite message tonight and both were mortified; one is coming and the other isn't. So that's two to still potentially turn up which hopefully the venue could accommodate. I've just hastily made up two extra gifts and lunches, bet they don't turn up though! I'll let you know

And I do understand people forget but having been there myself now, I vow to always reply straight away in the future so as not to be an annoying and forgetful non-RSVPer!

Had the same issue at my wedding. It is a case of contacting the people who have not replied or risking wasting money on the food and stuff you would have bought.

It's a pain in the bum but I think most people have had a similar experience.

Worth sending one reminder - my DD2 was invited to a party a few months ago but the nursery staff put the invite in the front pocket of her bag, which we never use because the zip is so difficult. If the Mum hadn't sent a brief text, I wouldn't have found the invite until it was all over.