Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to complain to next door's landlady.

63 replies

Gilead · 18/01/2018 22:46

Had the odd racist comment, not happy about that. Other than this, she seems to have taken it upon herself to police us. Should her shopping be delivered she waves me away with her hand and informs me that they won't be long, rather than asking if she wants delivery folk to move from shared drive so that I can go about my business. I did try to talk to her about this as it was a bit of a problem at the time, and got shouted at and she flounced off. We are constantly being watched, should we go out or arrive home you can hear her front door open and shut. Drives me nuts. A couple of days ago dd's boyfriend had his bike on her side of the drive for two minutes whilst he unlocked our garage door ( needed the angle to get it in) and good grief we had a fishwife on the drive.
I feel harassed and hounded and it's starting to really distress me.
There have been a couple of other incidents too, relatively minor but it's feeling cumulative. They're now in a position to see the drive from their house, which until recently they couldn't, so this evening have stood and watched all comings and goings.

OP posts:
Esseyexxx · 18/01/2018 22:51

Definitely complain! She doesn’t even the own the place so shouldn’t be waving her hand shooing you off Angry

Original poster
Gilead · 18/01/2018 23:01

Thank you, thing that's pissed me off is I lived next door to the previous folk for ten years and we're still friends. Three cars, and seven children between us and never once was there a problem!

OP posts:
Rawhh · 19/01/2018 12:19

You need to address it in the same manner you would if she were a homeowner.

Eseye is wrong - she pays to rent so if she doesn't want you on her side of the drive then don't go on it.

The racism needs to be reported to the police etc.

Just because she sounds unpleasant (to say the least) you cant go telling tales to the landlord - her landlord isn't her mum and can't do anything about it.

Original poster
Gilead · 19/01/2018 12:26

We do generally stay on our side. It was one incident for all of a minute or two. No good trying to talk to her, she shouts and storms off, she is a bully and there is no point of view but hers. I don't want to go to the police as I'm planning on selling up and moving later in the year.
With regard to informing the LL, they can at least talk to them and ensure they treat the neighbours with respect and remind them they are under contract. That's all I want, to be left alone. I didn't sleep last night, I have cPTSD and this is not helping.

OP posts:
specialsubject · 19/01/2018 12:28

tell the landlord. There's only one action they can take and that depends on the status of the contract. They could fire a warning shot of 'please be a better neighbour or we won't renew'.

Littlebitshort · 19/01/2018 12:31

Apart from the racism, which you should report shes well within her right to keep a check on her property. It dosent matter wether she owns it or not she is still paying rent for her side of the driveway so you really do need to stay off her side of the driveway. However unpleasant she maybe.

SaucyJack · 19/01/2018 12:32

The racism isn't on, but you can't go telling tales on her for looking out of her front door without sounding ridiculous.

Stand up for yourself politely and reasonably when she's encroaching upon your quality of life.

Ignore the mad cow at all other times.

maxthemartian · 19/01/2018 12:34

A bit of a cheek though for her to get het up about the driveway when she happily blocks the OP in.

cuttingcarbonemissions · 19/01/2018 12:35

Changing tenants is expensive for lanlords. If she is paying rent on time and not trashing the house they are not going to incurr that additional expense because next door don’t like them.

TBH OP you sound a bit over sensitive. She has every right to complain about a bike on her driveway even if it is only there for a short time. You are complaining about a delivery van on your drive and I assume that that is a relatively rare occurence. Ignore the door opening and closing and just tell yourself she is a sad person with nothing else in her life.

If she has made racist comments you should inform the police.

ArnoldBee · 19/01/2018 12:35

If you're selling up later this year anyway I would just leave it. Yes it's a pain but you will be moving away from her so what's the point. Just bide your time...

araiwa · 19/01/2018 12:39

What exactly do you think the landlord is able to do? More importantly why would they want to do anything.

Complaining that somebody looks out of their own windows makes you seem a bit barmy

Original poster
Gilead · 19/01/2018 12:39

No, I'm not oversensitive. I have a woman standing outside my back door shouting at me. I don't like being shouted at and for various reasons it bothers me.
The delivery van is her regular shopping, it's irrelevant how long it's there for, it parks behind my car and I have no choice about it being moved because she dismisses me. This is bullying.
Watching our every move from her window last night is bullying.
Shouting at us when dd is on the way to therapy is bullying. She's made derogatory comments about dd before too. This is cumulative.

OP posts:
problembottom · 19/01/2018 12:42

I would report racist comments to the police and I'd inform her landlord you have done so. No-one should have to put with that.

She sounds like the worst type of person to have a shared drive with.

AnnieOH1 · 19/01/2018 12:43

If it's a regular supermarket delivery speak with the supermarket directly about it. The delivery driver should not be blocking you in.

araiwa · 19/01/2018 12:45

Its a police matter or nothing

Ll cant do shit

jack2001 · 19/01/2018 12:46

Hmm at the people telling you she has every right to shout at you because you were on her drive for a minute.

I'd yell back but I'm not scared of confrontation. I'd also tell the landlord and police about the screaming and racism. It's likely all her nasty behaviour towards you is because she's racist.

Madasahattersteaparty1749 · 19/01/2018 12:47

If is an issue for you I would start logging every single instance of shouting/aggression/racism and then go to her landlord as that shows it is cumulative and can give times and dates of each incident.

It is also worth doing just in case it escalates and you can show it has been going on for a prolonged period of time.

Downtheroadfirstonleft · 19/01/2018 12:49

You could try phoning the company who delivers the shopping and ask them to tell their driver to not park on your share of the drive? They may be more reasonable than your neighbour.

Original poster
Gilead · 19/01/2018 12:50

It is her regular supermarket shop that blocks us in. It's a problem as my dd is disabled and I do need to be able to get on and off the drive quickly. I'm really careful never to block them. I have even moved my son's car so that they could move theirs because apparently they couldn't swing their Micra round. Although when next door had their Zafira, they managed without problems, although we used to chuck our keys at one another if we were up to our ears in it!

OP posts:
TsunamiOfShit · 19/01/2018 12:51

You can tell the landlord but don't expect them to do anything. It is expensive for them to evict a tenant and even if they do, they have to give a minimum of 2 months notice and if the tenant does not leave after two months, the ll have to wait to get a court order and bailiffs. You're looking at at least 6 months (and a massive expense to ll) so if you're looking to move anyway it really isn't worth hassling the ll about it.

Phone the police about the racism and the supermarket about them blocking you in.

RebeccaBunchLawyer · 19/01/2018 12:57

Sorry to hear you have to put up with this.

Please- as a pp said- log everything. Also keep calm (she’s not worth it), and tell police AND her ll- if I were a landlord I would not wish someone like that in my property.

FurCoatFurKnickers · 19/01/2018 12:57

I'd make a point of waving cheerfully at her every time I saw her looking our from the window or dropping my kecks and mooning at her

She sounds horrible but I'm not sure there's much the Landlady can do.

If she continues to be racist then I'd tell her the next time it happens it will be reported to the police as a hate crime.

ObscuredbyFog · 19/01/2018 12:58

She could plan her delivery slots around your need to be off the drive quickly if you are in and out at very regular times.

Otherwise contact the supermarket in writing to let them know their driver(s) are regularly blocking you in. Because you're contacting the supermarket directly, you'll bypass the horrid NDN.

Queeniebed · 19/01/2018 12:59

The LL would probably be unable to deal with trespass onto your neighbours property in any meaningful way. Contact the police and tell them about the sustained racism you are experiencing. Contact the company delivering food and complain that they are blocking your drive on a regular basis

RatherBeRiding · 19/01/2018 12:59

If you're leaving within the year I'd do my best to deal with what I can deal with, and ignore the rest.

Report racist remarks to the police
Contact the supermarket straight away and complain that their delivery drivers regularly block you in on your shared driveway, and that you have a need for urgent exit at all times.
Ignore the staring, or pull blinds/curtains where your house is overlooked by her. A pain, I know, but it's just till you move out.

I fear others are right and her LL won't want to know.