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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask if you could go back in time knowing what you know now...

55 replies

thetellyismybestfriend · 18/01/2018 18:22

...what would you do differently or what do you wish you could tell younger you (at any age/stage in life)?

I know people generally say 'no regrets', but I think many of us must have things we'd see and do differently with the amazing benefit of hindsight.

Can be as light hearted or as deep thinking as you like but I think mine would be to go back to my mid to late teens and to stop such negative self-thinking. I was so desperately unconfident (beyond that of the typical teen) and I look back at how much I missed out on and how much I emotionally tortured myself because I believed I wasn't liked and had nothing to offer.

DM often says she wishes she had appreciated her body in her youth and not been so obsessed with dieting and weight loss.

What about yours?

OP posts:
Purplerain101 · 18/01/2018 18:24

I would definitely have told myself to find a career path i enjoyed. I picked a subject at uni for my degree that was waste of time and hasn’t helped me get a decent job since.
I’d also tell myself to not waste my 20s with all the idiotic boyfriends I had.
Oh and to save more money!

kissmethere · 18/01/2018 18:26

Better job and save more money.
There are some people I wish I'd not invested so much time in but there you go.

FluffyMcCloud · 18/01/2018 18:29

I don't know - there was a boy I treated awfully at university because I thought he was going to treat me awfully, and I look back and think he and I could have actually been great together if I'd not been such a cow... but then I can't think that way cos I ended up with a wonderful husband and amazing kids so life is what it is and it's good. I will forever wonder a little what might have been if I hadn't been so defensive and awful back then and just let him in though..

Bluelady · 18/01/2018 18:30

I had a conversation with my dad six weeks before he died that I'd do anything to press the rewind button on.

ineedamoreadultieradult · 18/01/2018 18:32

I would go back and tell my teenage self to stop worrying because it all works out ok in the end.

Notreallyarsed · 18/01/2018 18:32

I’d have walked out on XH (10 days before I married him) when the test showed I was pregnant with DS1.

I’d have tried harder to fix things with my Mum before her cancer diagnosis, and had longer with the relationship we’d ended up with.

I’d find the district nurse who left my Mum to die, screaming in fucking agony, because she was on a power trip and make sure she didn’t get within 50 miles of my family.

I’d have walked away from my friend before she robbed my house.

I wouldn’t give a shit what anyone thought of me.

KeiraTwiceKnightley · 18/01/2018 18:34

I try not to have regrets. But I would tell my mum to push the gp for a colonoscopy when she first started to feel unwell. That way she might still be here, rather than dead at 49.

IrkThePurist · 18/01/2018 18:36

I'd go back and tell me 'you are right to go with your gut feeling, don't trust X.' And I'd hand myself a copy of the Gift of Fear.

MrsTerryPratchett · 18/01/2018 18:36

I love my life so nothing, including bloody stupid things because they got me here.

But if I could guarantee no 'trousers of time' consequences... I'd shag the bloke at university that I fancied but never followed through with. And give my head a wobble about the idiots I did shag at university.

So mostly shagging, embarrassingly.

Cherrycokewinning · 18/01/2018 18:38

I would do schooling and uni very differently. I had no help, no support and no direction and made some poor decisions. I guess it worked out ok in the end but it could’ve been better and far easier

BackBoiler · 18/01/2018 18:38

Do not go to the pub on college nights!

Embrace the inner quirkiness!

Do not care what people think of you unless you are doing something that goes against your morals!

Open my mouth when wronged a little more!

Ilikesweetpeas · 18/01/2018 18:40

I would have started ttc sooner. Never occurred to me that there would be problems...

StrictlySnow · 18/01/2018 18:41

Buy a house younger and move up the ladder more quickly.
Lose weight younger I waited until after first dc to face the facts I'd been overweight since my early teens.

littlesisterwith2olderbrothers · 18/01/2018 18:42

So many things I would change it's ridiculous...

Shockers · 18/01/2018 18:42

There was 18 months I wasted on someone who didn’t deserve me, and I still don’t quite know why I persevered for more than the first month. I wouldn’t bother with that if I had my time again because it wasn’t one of those mistakes you learn from.

I’d be a better parent to my first child because I now know I had PND, so I’d ask for help.

SchoolMoney · 18/01/2018 18:43

I would say second chances are fine but if someone is a cunt twice to you move on and forget them. I spent far too long defending and making excuses for a horrible 'friend' explaining away the cruel things she said to me because I believed no one is actually evil/as violently selfish as she came across. She is.

morningtoncrescent62 · 18/01/2018 18:43

As far as the big things are concerned, I wouldn't necessarily do anything very different - I've made some very stupid mistakes and probably have a few more to make before I'm done but on the whole I'm glad where I've ended up and the mistakes and wrong turns were part of that.

What I would quite like to change is not going on my first diet at age 9, the first episode of a life of yo-yo dieting.

Orangecake123 · 18/01/2018 18:48

I would have stood up for myself when I was 14 and being bullied at school.
I would have applied to better colleges, but my self esteem was shattered at that point so I picked the nearest one.
Have more self respect and leave the first time boy number one treated me badly.
Not wasted money, time and energy in my ex best friends.
trusted myself more and stop putting everyone else on a pedestal.
Started therapy sooner and not leave it until I was severely suicidal.

We learn from the painful moments in life and all that jazz. Yes it made me stronger but it was so very painful.

elisaveta · 18/01/2018 18:48

I'd have thought long and hard about moving back from Ireland to the UK if I'd ever thought that Brexit was going to happen. I thought I was doing the right thing by my kids - now I think they would have been far, far better off in Ireland. At least they have Irish passports, as they were born there, so they can go back as adults.

whoareyoukidding · 18/01/2018 18:49

I wish I had been kinder and friendlier to people. I was always so self-conscious and shy when I was younger (not much better now) but I wish I'd realised that not everything is about me.

AManWalksIntoABarOuch · 18/01/2018 18:50

I'd be a much, much better housemate.

AManWalksIntoABarOuch · 18/01/2018 18:50

And I'd do a different degree.

Stompythedinosaur · 18/01/2018 18:51

I wouldn't have trained to be a nurse. The wages have gone down so much I am really struggling to support my family, and the stress is making me sick.

Ginger1982 · 18/01/2018 18:51

Spend even more time with my dad who died when I was 13.

Arkengarthdale · 18/01/2018 18:53

I'd have killed my self at 14 if I realised I was going to be bullied all my life and never ever feel really good about myself