to ask if you could go back in time knowing what you know now...

[thetellyismybestfriend]

...what would you do differently or what do you wish you could tell younger you (at any age/stage in life)?

I know people generally say 'no regrets', but I think many of us must have things we'd see and do differently with the amazing benefit of hindsight.

Can be as light hearted or as deep thinking as you like but I think mine would be to go back to my mid to late teens and to stop such negative self-thinking. I was so desperately unconfident (beyond that of the typical teen) and I look back at how much I missed out on and how much I emotionally tortured myself because I believed I wasn't liked and had nothing to offer.

DM often says she wishes she had appreciated her body in her youth and not been so obsessed with dieting and weight loss.

What about yours?

I would tell myself to buy a shitload of bitcoin at the outset and short everything just before the 2008 crash.

I wouldn't because it would mean not having my children. If it were not for that then hand on heart yes I would go back - I would work my bum off at school and save every penny I could. I've not done badly at all. I have a nice house and lovely children. But I would absolutely have loved to have been a doctor and although not guaranteed if I had only tried harder at school at least I would have known I have it my best shot. Unless you inherit a lot of money or end up with a partner who can earn enough for you not to work then you will invariably spend much of your adult life at work so obviously it is better to end up doing something you really want to do. I would also feel a lot happier if I had more money saved in the bank. I've saved really hard the last few years and things have been tight the last few. I was really frivolous with money when I was in my 20s and I really regret that and of course the things I wasted my money on mean nothing to me now.

I think it depends on how far back I'd need to go.

Age 14 picking O level options, I'd go with art and design over French. I'm partly deaf and struggled with languages anyway, but the French option was part of a group only for "elite" students and my parents wanted me in that group. I was certainly as good as them in the other subjects, but I've always enjoyed arts ans crafts and would like to have taken the pottery further.

Age 16 and choosing A level subjects. I chose completely the wrong ones. Should have opted for art and history and perhaps geography, instead of maths physics and chemistry. I failed the lot, with the help of some poor teaching.

All the other significant points in my life flow from the A level choices. If I'd done the other ones, I'm certain I'd have passed and gone on to uni. I wouldn't have met the ex I spent most of my life with.

I'd not have the children I currently have, but I'd like to think I'd have had others with these personalities, but without the mental health issues they have as a result of being with the ex. My DCs are the only thing I don't regret about being with ex.

I wouldn't know where to start ? Back to school and work harder instead of being the class clown.....
Qualify in my career rather than giving up because I couldn't be arsed to go to night school 2 evenings a week
That I'd had the sense & courage to call my wedding off 6 weeks beforehand when I had the chance. In fact that I'd said no the 3rd time me and exh got back together.
That I'd had more self respect where men were concerned
That I'd realised when I got on the scales age 26 and was 10 stone and horrified, that I should have been happy and stuck there
That I'd been more prudent financially instead of being profligate and getting done over by people taking advantage of my generosity. I never learn

I wouldn't have spent my twenties with boyfriends who didn't deserve me.
I would have taken more of a chance with someone.
I'd have spent a hell of a lot less time worrying that I wasn't good enough.
Had counselling a hell of a lot earlier.
Been pushier earlier in my career instead of dwelling on setbacks.
Spent a lot less time trying to engage with people who are drains.

In general, though, I have some really fantastic long-standing friends (radiators, rather than drains) who have seen me through really difficult times. My career isn't in bad shape. I have learnt to be wonderfully happy in my skin and to relish time alone. I look forward to the discoveries ahead. And all the mistakes I've made have helped me to reach this point.