To yearn for a simpler life?

[Misty9]

Busy life with two young kids and jobs etc. I'm about to finish my current job and find I'm yearning for something different from just getting another post and continuing in the rat race. I'm tired all the time, don't get outdoors into nature enough, could eat better and have various minor health complaints. I have visions of living somewhere more rural, perhaps by the sea, and just leaving behind the capitalist culture and spending and STUFF as much as possible. Sadly dh doesn't share this vision so I feel stuck.

Does anyone else yearn for a simpler life? Or found one?

My rural idyll today: taking a picture of a dead sheep's ear tag.

I'm a psychologist. I do like gardening so am looking forward to that when the weather improves. I did grow veg last year but the little that grew ended up wasted as I'm the only one who likes veg really

I struggle to define anything at the moment to be honest! I'm more together at work, worry not

Try here, OP:

https://www.findhorn.org/programmes/living-in-community-guest/

Well you don't need to live by the sea to spend less on stuff. Just do it.

And if you want to go out to the countryside, make that a priority at the weekends.

You don't need to alter your entire life, just make small changes.

It's not the spending on stuff- it's the constant exhortation that spending money will makes us all happier. That stuff = happiness. I find it makes me restless and I yearn for some inner peace.

I'm not suggesting I'll find it at the seaside or in a cow pat, more that space and quiet are in those places. I dont think I'm getting across what I mean very well. But yes, small changes. God knows how I'd have the energy for larger ones if I can't even make small changes...

A drastic move is a biggie.Although my friend did it and is very happy I'd be worried it would be too quiet.
We did a smaller move. Out of london and semi rural but still in reach of seeing friends. Have a new job that involves a 5 to 10 min commute. That in itself is life changing. Can't believe I commuted for so many years.

We (me, DD1 and DD2 - then 13 and 6) made a huge change in 2012. We moved from inner city Glasgow back to my native Dorset, to a smallish village just outside of a smallish town.

It wasn't easy the first year, I missed my friends, I missed having city life on my doorstep and all the lovely stuff that went with that (including public transport), my kids were hugely unsettled for a while but that first year was survived and we do live a much simpler life here.

Open spaces galore, a quite home to live in with no 24/7 sirens and buses/taxis. We have the beach and spend a lot of time there. We spend much more time doing free stuff and less time shopping or going to 'things which cost money'.

It's definitely helping me, I have severe anxiety and going out in public is stressful enough so going to somewhere like a beach or the forest is perfect, I am outside, can move away from crowds and don't feel hemmed in.

Obviously we do spend money but I don't feel like we spend it on stuff we don't need. Dp works full time, I'm at home and therefore do all the food shopping and cooking. This cuts our food costs down.

In the summer I often cook food, wrap it all in containers in foil and then we head to the beach for a swim and dinner on the sand. It's a nice life, a slower life and definitely a healthier life.

Dorset.

That is all.

You are welcome.

It's not the spending on stuff- it's the constant exhortation that spending money will makes us all happier. That stuff = happiness. I find it makes me restless and I yearn for some inner peace

What about getting rid of your television? I got rid of mine 12 years ago, and hadn't watched it for three years by that point- I never feel the pressure to buy/consume anything much.
I know that sounds glib, but it makes a huge difference. I also dumped Facebook and twitter about five years ago too.
I am on here, and I do read news sites etc, but it's so different not having add thrown at you all the time (ad blocker maybe? But tbh, I don't even "see" online add).

That does sound lovely mycats (great nn btw). Dh is set on city living and although we have the coast about an hour away, it's still a military operation getting the kids ready and out the door to make it worth the trip. I love Dorset.

I feel I'm making a lot of sacrifices and I'm not sure how sustainable that is..

Interesting idea Phil and actually when I first met dh, he didn't have a t.v. and we hark back to the days when we listened to music, cooked and talked after work. However I also didn't have a smartphone at that point, and just an ancient old laptop. Hmm. We are contemplating dumb phones but like the camera option of smart ones.
I don't watch much tv really. The consumerism feeling comes from going into the city- it's about a 20min walk and if we need stuff (bedding etc) then invariably it's me who goes and chooses/buys.

Another vote for Dorset! I can dream...

it's the constant exhortation that spending money will makes us all happier. That stuff = happiness.

You don't need to listen to that though.

Live life your own way.
OH and I hate "stuff". We don't deprive the kids but don't buy into all that buying. 95% of my clothes are second hand. Most of the furniture is too. Our cars are cheap ( mine was £800 4 years ago and still going strong). I use a basic cosmetics ( my favourite is ALDI for skin products) I don't do jewellery, expensive shoes or handbags.

We have 10 years worth of earnings in the bank- we earn more than we need.
My pleasures are simple. At they nourish my soul.

I'd second pp who suggested holidaying away from all tech as a starting point. I don't do camping but we often stay at youth hostels in the absolute middle of nowhere with no mobile, internet or even getting in a car and just spend a few days pottering, walking, playing outside games and board games etc. It's not a break from doing chores as still have to do 3 meals a day and wash-up, but it's very restful as no modern distractions and lots of beautiful countryside and time together. Even my teenagers enjoy it despite it meaning them being unplugged for a couple of days. We have been doing it since they were small and they've always loved it ( but it's become more of a holiday for me as they have got older😀)

We went into London for a wedding a few months ago and the amount of stuff that was available to buy was just dizzying. Walking down the shop fronts in a borough High Street made me feel really odd- slightly violated.

There is just nothing to buy in Dorset, unless you want a cob loaf, a copy of 'Farmers' Weekly' or a locally made pot. I hadn't really appreciated the difference until we ventured back into the material world.

DS never asks for anything because he never sees anything. He has no idea what toys/ clothes/ gadgets are out there.

Ffs. You have confused consumerist with capitalist. Capitalism is about being able to earn your own money and having the freedom to choose it however you like, for example by moving to the country and fund a simpler life through savings or whatever. Sorry, but that really annoys me giving the pain and suffering that my family has endured at the hands of communists but whatever. Do whatever you want but don't think that leaving the city will liberate you from consumerism. If you have a problem with overspending it's an internal problem not a result of your surroundings.

Lowdoor- yes, I think it's better for children too to not be fully aware of how much they too could consume. Unlike the fact that in Scandinavia advertising aimed at children is banned.

lowdoor although we both live in the same county you clearly live more rurally than me. Our village has quite a few shops but it's mostly stuff like butchers, cobblers, bank, coffee shops, cafes, charity shops and other necessities. There is little in the way of frivolities.

Saying that DD2 (12) really doesn't seem to want to spend money either. She got a lot of cash between her birthday and Xmas, most of it has been put into her savings account and she spent some on a new kindle as hers was dying.

I guess the things I buy her most (apart from school stuff) is swimming costumes, wet suits, wet shoes and rash vests! I wish she'd stop growing!

capitalism provides the fertile soil on which consumerism grows abundantly quoted from here: definition

I'm sorry to hear about your relative's experiences eggs but I have repeatedly said, I do not have a problem with overspending - I have a problem with the way capitalism is being applied and how consumerist it is making many people. We have hypercapitalism now and it's not healthy for people's social and emotional needs.

I feel like society is making us buy more and want more and spend more.
Social media doesn’t help, it perpetuates a myth of a perfect life.
Everyone seems to be so busy and stressed. More people than ever are suffering from stress, anxiety and depression (I realise that the stigma of talking about it is a factor in it seeming more prevalent).
It seems like whereas before we wanted to getting the best, high paid job and most expensive house now we yearn for a simple life.

I did grow veg last year but the little that grew ended up wasted as I'm the only one who likes veg really
Yes, but you'd think DH would manage to work up a feeble 'delicious well done dear' when you conjure up your home grown organic carrots for dinner.
Perhaps you two not singing from the same page is part of the problem. That is mine.

We live out in the countryside with two small kids, it can be pretty relentless but we enjoy it (most of the time).

Yh theres forest to tend/plant/cut down/cut and chop/store/ etc etc. Food to grow, animals to feed and butcher etc. Dogs to walk, grass to cut (4 plus hours per week in the summer), hay to harvest. Too many buildings to maintain and an upcoming main attraction of a house to refurbish but we certainly don't spend time worrying about consumerism, capitalist etc. Plus we do spend the odd weekends sat in the forest or out fishing which is great.

Personally I'd start small, I use to live in London and going for a walk around London with my countryside dwelling OH was a real eye opener for me. He sought out quite benches, grass (not in the big parks) and just generally seemed to be in his own little bubble, taking it all in without hurrying anywhere, with no agenda of we must see or do x, y, z before the end of the day.

Oh should say we aren't self sufficient, that would be a step to far for us, plus we both have jobs we enjoy.

Maybe a change of location would help.

I don't see this rampant consumerism that some are talking about. Everyone around me seems quite calm and relatively stress free.
I live in a quiet town on the outskirts of a major city.
It's several years since I needed to drive on a motorway. We have no starbucks in town,, my living is semi rural, I can be at the coast , mountains or indeed international airport in 15 minutes.

Some parts of the UK are low stress living.

MyCat actually we don't live that rurally, we are easily into Dorchester and Weymouth. I was exaggerating a bit . However, if you walk through the centre of Weymouth you pass a fossil shop, bakeries, basic outdoorsy clothes shops, McDonalds and BrightHouse!!

There is definitely nothing that makes me feel inadequate because I can't afford it.

Just thinking about the High Street we walked down in London, we passed a shop with a rainbow of Frog bikes and fancy scooters, an interior design shop with £1k plus luxury items of furniture/ rugs, a shop with incredible baby equipment which I felt like I needed even though DS is 7 and several very expensive boutiques.

Just totally different. Weymouth has everything you need but all basic/ budget options. The London shops were 'aspirational'. I don't particularly want those aspirations (to have expensive stuff for the sake of it) foisted on me, or DS.