Inappropriate cashier

[Kentnurse2015]

Throwing this out as DH thinks I am unreasonable

3 year old gave cashier the ham she had carried around the shop with her. Cashier scans it and hides it. Says she can only get it back if she smiles.

Cashier a stranger to DD so she won’t smile. Asks for her ham. Cashier then says she will only get it back if she gets a kiss.DD turns away. I say to her she doesn’t have to and says to cashier ‘she is shy’ to avoid conflict’

Female cashier continues to say she wants a kiss. DD hung around my legs by now. Cashier comes out from around the till, kneels down to my DD’s level and kisses her on the cheek despite my child saying no and me saying she doesn’t have to.

Cashier wasn’t English but European. My DH thinks I am overreacting. A culture thing. I think a child saying no means no. I also tried to put her off without making a scene. I want my child to know they can say no to an adult. I see this as quite serious and DH thinks not.

AIBU? I know I probably should have said no much more forcibly but that would have made a scene. My child was saying no.

I get that Ourkelly and the cashier was BU without qualification.

That said, cashier was (err) 'European'. I am interested on how OP is going to deal with this now.

I hope OP does not overreact based on other posters responses.

I’d be fuming if someone did this to my dd. She has selective mutism and can’t speak to strangers. If they angled for a kiss I’d be putting on my ‘mum’ vouce And saying they need to back off.
I don’t care what culture you’re from, trying to get a child to kids you when they clearly don’t want to is fucking ridiculous. I’m cross just reading this on your behalf op

Who cares if its cultural

Its totally inappropriate

I think I would have said for fuck sake and walked out of the shop in a strop.

Wow that's very odd of the cashier

I probably would have been firmer with cahsier

YANBU! Very unusual and I am sure you have replayed it a thousand times but next time just be more direct and say ' she doesn't want to smile, pass me the ham please'.
Cashier was outrageous.

I think I would have said for fuck sake and walked out of the shop in a strop.

I would have waited until the till was free and have a calm and friendly conversation with the cashier about young children and boundaries. My three year old would not have missed one second of that conversation.

YANBU. In future you know you can use your words to stop her as she is approaching, or stand in between her and your child. Don't let the awkwardness stop you, she is the one who made it awkward so your response to stop her touching your child is justified. She's little and you should feel justified in doing whatever necessary to protect her!

Not worth complaining about. You should have just been firm. Hope the poor woman doesn't get the sack because you didn't deal with it properly.

Totally bizarre, very inappropriate and I would be pissed off if I was in the queue behind you waiting whilst all this was going on! Just scan the goods and take the money ffs!

In future you know you can use your words to stop her as she is approaching, or stand in between her and your child.

Getting silly a bit now.

@zzzzz I get it. I know. I should have done whatever it took but I was shocked (and dealing with my 1 year old in the pram). I don’t think I expected her to come around from the till. Hindsight is an amazing thing. Next time I would be so much harsher. So much more.

YANBU.

If she'd just asked for a smile, I'd think she was being friendly, but asking for a kiss is odd, and giving a kiss when the child is hiding is definitely inappropriate.

For what it's worth, I grew up in a European country where kissing on the cheek is a common greeting. Forcing a kiss on a customer's child would still be strange there.

Not really SavvyFishFinger. It's not that this woman was going to physically harm her. It's more about teaching her she can refuse contact from an adult she doesn't want, and that her mum will protect her when she can't stop something from happening. This is one situation but it contributes to the overall development of the child.

Well it's not your culture and if it's hers that's not your problem. YNBU

My 4 yo DS was mortified in Barcelona last year when everyone wanted to kiss him!

Let it go.

I gasped when I read she kissed you DD. You should have just said that it wasn’t appropriate to ask for a smile, kiss etc or DD does not want to in slightly louder voice. From saying DD is shy maybe cashier thought it was okay to kiss DD to help her get over shyness.

Still inappropriate and needs reporting. Groomers always asking for a hug etc not saying the cashier is but may be perceived like that.

DD needs to know when asked for a kiss that no is no and not to expect it to happen regardless.

@parrotonmyshoulder I have been abroad and had unwelcome attention. That’s is fine. Actually physical contact when a child is saying no? Not so much

And again i state I should have said more or done more

Fucking Inappropriate....

But you did stop it, didn’t you? You stood up for your child and left. You didn’t make her kiss the woman.

Really Parrotonmyshoulder, you want to start teaching children that their no doesn't mean no?

Oh, I misread maybe. Didn’t notice she was actually kissed.

Yanbu.

I would have been polite and said no until she went to kiss the child. Then all politeness would have been out the window.