SAHM/Homemakers - What do you do all day?

[Fruem]

Those who choose to be a SAHM/homemaker, who don’t ‘have’ to work, what do you do all day?!

I’m talking the SAHM’s who don’t work from home. Who don’t have to look after the kids all day etc.

If you’ve done cleaning/washing/shopping etc. How do you fill your day?

I just realised you said who dont have to look after the kids lol. When my youngest is in school i have no idea what i'm going to do! Possibly go back to work and do nights, so i can sleep in the day while theyre in school, and havent got to worry about child care in the holidays then either.

“I am never bored, we can afford it....dh is able to pursue his career without restriction - he's away most of this week and even when he's home during the week he's up at 5am and home at 9.00pm. “

It blows my mind that you DH might like his life. Up at 5am and back at 9pm sounds awful. Who gets satisfaction from that? He must play next to no role in family life

sit on my arse eating bonbons ?

If I was a SAHM of school age DC I'd do whatever I bloody wanted in the day and not feel guilty at all!

I do only work 16 hours a week during school hours but I'm a single parent so always busy. I have Fridays off and I love them, that's the only time I have to myself all week. I go for coffee and get my hair/nails done.

I work FT but the school day doesn't seem so long that you'd have eons of free time. In an ideal world I imagine being super fit, running or swimming daily, doing art or photography or language classes, cooking etc. In reality I imagine a lot of the day would be filled by taking my time over the jobs that normally get rushed through in evenings and weekends like cooking, cleaning, shopping etc, so I'd presumably have more time then.

Well, I can give you today as an example.
Up at 6 - get the kids ready, breakfasted etc.
Do the school run (takes two hours but I squeeze in a dog walk half way through)
Now I'm sitting down to update some settings on DH's business website and having a sneaky MN
After I've done that I have to go through some business accounts
I've got a sale on a piece of farm machinery to co-ordinate before lunchtime
After lunch I'll finish off some DIY I started on Monday. That'll take me up to school pick up, which is another two hour round trip
I'll make dinner for everyone as soon as I get home at 5pm, then after that I do homework with DD. Then we get about an hour together before I put them all to bed.
After the DCs have gone to bed I will do some study for my degree.

Yesterday was very different - after the school run and dog walk I had to drive to my DF's to help him with a house move and do a load of admin for him as he's not coping well on his own. That took me till the evening school run / dinner routine. Tomorrow will be the same.

I'm really supposed to be a WAHM, but the "AHM" bit means I get lumbered doing everything that no one else has time to do. My business very much takes a back seat because so many people have urgent tasks that need doing and I get asked to sort it all out. I feel a bit like a facilitator for everyone else's lives really.

My dc1 is at nursery some days, so I’m a part-time-sahm-with-no-dcs if you like! Currently, I’m 9 months pregnant, so I do very little while dc is at nursery tbh. When dc2 is a bit older I will most likely spend my days without dc1 around job-hunting!

I’ve had enough of being an unpaid cleaning lady, which is what I feel like at the moment. I’d happily take a cleaning job elsewhere, just don’t want to do it for free at home, on my own.

If money was no object, I’d love to be the sort of homemaker / sahm who went out for lunch every day and had a host of cooks and cleaners to manage our house, but sadly don’t think that will happen in this lifetime!

On the one hand it’s a short day (dc finish school at 2.35pm) and on the other I get soooo bored (reluctant single parent sahm due to dc’s sen.)

Typical week is -
two or three appointments with or about the children
shopping (can’t take the dc so have to do it in the school day)
cleaning/chores etc but not excessive amount
might meet a friend for coffee
visit elderly parents
walk
adult learning course one morning a week
bit of daytime tv
Appointments for myself eg hair, dentist
Daytime cinema (luxury)
Occasional exercise class
Children sometimes at home too.

On the one hand it’s a short day (dc finish school at 2.35pm) and on the other I get soooo bored

I'm always busy but busy with boring things iykwim!

I split time between occasional work, elderly parents, kids events at school, volunteering, cleaning, cooking, shopping, coffee with friends, netflix in that order although probably more time is spent doing things for and with the elderly parents. Sometimes work commitments take up more time, sometimes less.

Oh and I am on this thread as I am semi retired, no rich DH here though I did thing he earned a good salary £40-45K until I read the good wage thread, so I have my small part time salary and my small private pension, and a lot of time to fritter away as I want

Light That is a good salary! That MN thread was so off, there were people on there suggesting 7/8K a month was a 'good' salary

I'm a homemaker. I had to stop working due to disability. Some days I can't get out of bed so there's lots of telly watching, reading magazines. When I can get up, it's not much different really!

I'm a SAHM with one DC at school and one at nursery. So have mornings with no work/no DC

I'd say the time is spent 2/3 on domestic stuff (laundry, tidying, batch cooking, family admin) and 1/3 on myself (exercise, seeing friends)

If both DC were in school I'd have a lot more time for myself and probably also do a better job on the domestic stuff - for example I'd cook more varied meals rather than relying on the same 8 things. And the house would be more "done".

I missed the feeling guilty bit. My dh had a shift pattern where he could look after our dd two days a week. No one asked him.if he felt guilty spending time with her, whether they knew his shift work or not. No one asked him if he feels guilty being at work at not with his children. I have been asked both of these questions because I am a mother and nothing I do is right.

I was medically retired in my forties, I have a decent pension, plus another that I could draw in a few years. DH has a well paid job and we paid our mortgage off in our thirties anyway.

I try to walk every day
Read
Watch horror films, no one else in the house likes them
Game on my console
Make costumes and props
Taking an art class
Meet friends for coffee and lunch
Check on my investments
Attend medical appointments every week

It blows my mind that you DH might like his life. Up at 5am and back at 9pm sounds awful. Who gets satisfaction from that? He must play next to no role in family life

It's certainly not something that would suit everyone. My dh is very ambitious, loves his work, it's a massive part of who he is, the hours he works are surprisingly normal amongst our friends...he parents at the weekends and the dcs have me on tap during the week - we are all very happy with that. If I really did need him, he'll find time to talk to me during the day, he has and will drop everything, leave a board meeting half way through, refuse to travel abroad, work from home, come home early etc..... I feel he always has my back when I need him, which, to be fair, isn't very often.

I have three stay at home days a week at the moment (wfh the other 2).

I walk, do housework, diy, visit my grandparents, do house admin. Anything that means once DD is home I can actually have an evening - and sometimes I go out at night too if I have friends/family I haven’t seen for a while.

Tidy up after a bunch of messy children. Constantly. It never ends. Cook for them, breastfeed, do the school runs, tidy like the place hasn't been tidied once or twice already because it looks ridiculous. Sit down occasionally (morning nap for baby or bit of TV for preschooler after lunch with a cup of tea). Tidy / clean/cook some more while trying to smile and enjoy my young children amid constant domestic drudgery. Wonder why I did a PhD...

And of course, I should add: constantly try to keep ahead of things like meal times or face the inevitability of getting cried at my the baby. Keeps me on my toes

I work 18 hrs per week then on my days off i run a knocking shop.

I like my working days as it gives me head space/time to think etc. When DC2 starts school I’ll probably work 2 or 3 days & plan to spend my days doing a few classes. On my first mat leave I did a sewing course & this time I learnt to drive. I would love to learn another language.

and screen printing!

MarmaladeIsMyJam After my mat leave I went back to work 4 days a week. DH had DS 2 of those days which meant he had less time focusing on his new business which started to suffer. I was shattered fitting everything in to 3 days a week so we argued more. Now, DH can work on his new business without feeling daddy guilt for neglecting DS. I'm much happier & so is DS. My dad told me the other day that I'm much nicer to be around now - it's simply because both myself & my family are happier.

In a family we all have different roles to play - none is more valuable than the other.

Up at 7 making lunches, getting kids up and out, 8-9 school run. Run in morning for an hour, home clear up and empty/stack dishwasher/clean hoover tidy pick up crap from floor, despair at each room is a tip don’t know where to start, sit down look at mumsnet, eat something, clean bathrooms, do nursery pick up then school pick up back for 4, make dinner, kids refuse dinner, cry for pudding/treats..6 bath, 7 kids go to bed, 8 cook dinner, watch some tv too tired to clear up, start again in morning