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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think my sons should be able to flush a toilet?

80 replies

MrsMuddlePluck · 15/01/2018 22:58

Just gone up to bed. Went to turn light off in family bathroom (again).

The mess in there is yet again disgusting. Piss on the seat & down the sides. Unflushed crap in the bowl.

Empty toilet rolls next to the bin. Stinking wet towels & dirty boxers on the floor.

Last week DSs GF asked to use my ensuite loo as someone had peed all over the seat. Yet again I was on my hands & knees mopping up pee.

I cant believe I'm still having to clear up such a shithole. My DSs are 15, 18 & 20, so I am so completely fed up & disgusted with this.

OP posts:
TheOrigRightsofwomen · 17/01/2018 05:50

I think the fact you're wondering whether this is something you should just put up with is quite telling.

OF COURSE they should be cleaning up their own piss! You clearly haven't taught them to do so.

Yeah, at their age they should know but while they've had Mum on hands and knees to clean up why would they bother?

MrsTerryPratchett · 17/01/2018 05:57

15, 18 and 20?

Are the older ones in danger of getting a GF or BF any time soon? Because some poor bugger is going to be faced with that. Have they got the idea that it's women's work? Their dad ever in his hands and knees scrubbing?

MrsTerryPratchett · 17/01/2018 05:58

OMG just realized one of them has a GF who is having to deal with this. Get her onside for the public shaming.

SabineUndine · 17/01/2018 06:01

Is it all of them? Or does one start it and then the others don’t bother? I think a fine for all of them is a good idea and I’d Up it to a tenner if they don’t sort themselves out. Peer pressure.

Ecclesiastes · 17/01/2018 06:05

Just wanted reassurance that I'm not daft for thinking this is wrong!

OP, where did you learn that women exist to clean up men's shit?

RemainOptimistic · 17/01/2018 06:17

Don't fine them for gods sake. Make them clear it up.

DO NOT CLEAN IT FOR THEM.

Please come back OP and tell us you are never going to clean up this mess again

HuskyMcClusky · 17/01/2018 06:22

As for fining them - Jesus wept, 2 out of 3 of them are adults. Tell them to grow some respect and clean up after themselves, or move out!

Cauliflowersqueeze · 17/01/2018 06:23

Please tell me you’re not going to fine them and then clean it yourself. Please.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 17/01/2018 06:29

Fine them and make them clean up? You couldn’t reasonably ask a cleaner to deal with this so it’s not outsourceable.

Pengggwn · 17/01/2018 06:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JoandMax · 17/01/2018 07:09

If he furous if my 7 year old did that let alone teenagers!!!

Make them clean it up, shame them in front of friends and girlfriends. It’s totally disrespectful and unacceptable

ItsLikeRainOnYourWeddingDay · 17/01/2018 07:15

They do it because they know you will clean it up.

Switch of the WiFi every time you go into a bathroom and it’s a mess on any way.

Fairylea · 17/01/2018 07:18

Fining then? You’re not still giving the older ones pocket money are you?? Shock

ElliePhillips · 17/01/2018 07:26

I don't mean to be rude in asking but I'm genininly confused as to how it got like this with young MEN?

When did you start teaching them about bathroom hygiene and etiquette? I have taught my 3 year old that after flushing a poo we lift the lid to check that the bowl is clean and if it is not we clean/flush again. It is working very well with him. He is now very enthusiastic about checking and flushing! Grin Perhaps you could try this with your teenagers OP? Confused

allthegoodusernameshavegone · 17/01/2018 07:29

Have they just started to do this? Have you told them this is disgusting? What was their reaction? I ask because I don’t understand why they would just start at their ages to disrespect your/their home or have you put up with this for years?

BattleCuntGalactica · 17/01/2018 07:46

I'd put all the crap they leave behind, and dump it on their bed. Empty loo rolls, wet towels and boxers etc, right in the middle of their beds. Take pictures of the mess they leave behind first, and then post it on their Facebook with tags to their names on it. Shame their behaviour.

As others have suggested, change the WiFi password every day and make them earn the ability to have it by making sure they help in the house and clean up after themselves.

If they refuse, show them the door. Two of them are adults. One of them is not. The younger one is supposed to be learning from his brothers, and all he's seeing is blatant disrespect. If the other two are shown the door, he might learn you're not fucking around.

Stop doing stuff for them, otherwise they won't learn how to be a grown adult. You have to stick to your guns with this.

fastfrank · 17/01/2018 11:37

Shaming on social media is ridiculous. You shouldn't need to even entertain that bollocks, they're practically grown ups and should know how to clean up after themselves. I'd tackle it from a "respect for their Mum" POV.

Peanutbuttercheese · 17/01/2018 11:52

If after a serious talk they do it then do nothing for them.

Do you cook for them ? or do washing ? or anything at all? because stop doing everything.

Agree about wifi.

Allthewaves · 17/01/2018 12:10

oh god i was hoping it would get better, my boys are 9,6,4 and i'm literally shouting every day about he toilet and making them come and clean it. Next step is that they each clean it once a week

Graphista · 17/01/2018 12:12

I honestly came on this thread expecting them to be aged 7 or under. This is foul!

At their ages the fine (and the amount I would make it at least £20) is pathetic! Plus really all it teaches them is money gets them out of having to be responsible.

Make THEM clean it up - if they don't I agree with shaming them on sm and would be seriously considering throwing the older 2 out!!

It's not only disgusting it's disrespectful to the point of abusive!

I'm also guessing this is not the only way they're disrespecting you.

nocake · 17/01/2018 12:27

Leaving aside you and you DH allowing them to make it almost to adulthood without understanding the basics of hygiene... Do whatever is necessary to stop this quickly. Harsh methods are probably appropriate. Lock the door and inspect the toilet after use, refuse to feed them unless the toilet is clean, put the toilet out of bounds and dig a hole in the garden for them to go in... I don't think any means is unreasonable and their future partners will thank you.

illustrious · 17/01/2018 12:32

HA! i thought they were little too! Don't clean up after them MAKE them do it. Doesn't matter how much they whinge they will eventually get the message.
Fine them OR change WIFI password ( this works well, bit of a pain but VERY effective).
Is it just this or are they generally not cleaning after themselves? My 8 year old son cleans up after himself, put clothes in laundry, flushes the loo/wipes seat, clears table etc. because we made/make him and it's now habit for him. There's NO way i want to be running around after a teenage boy doing this stuff - ask yourself, if they were girls what would you expect from them?

illustrious · 17/01/2018 12:36

If they aren't already on some kind of cleaning rota you need to start one for them. ASAP.

Mxyzptlk · 17/01/2018 13:45

OMG just realized one of them has a GF who is having to deal with this. Get her onside for the public shaming. Grin

Have you asked them WHY they think it's ok to leave that mess for you?

Show them what to do - Once.

Tell them to keep the bathroom clean.

If it's dirty, grab the first one you see to clean it. (It's not fair? Neither is you cleaning their piss every day. Tough, guys.)

restbiterepeat · 17/01/2018 13:48

WiFi protest and change the password to Iamresponsibleformyownpee.