To think this is a deal breaker?

[inmyshoos]

If you are dating someone and you discover through chat that you have opposing political views, would that be a deal breaker for you?
Im not hugely political at all, but know enough to vote confidently, I just wonder if it will cause issue doen the line because his morals will be so different to mine. Not that I mind him having his own opinions. He likes different music to me that is fine. Likewise most other things. But this feels different.

Fwiw there are a few other potential deal breakers but this is the one that is playing on my mind most!

AIBU?

It put me right off Jeremy Paxman. And he used to be on my list. But then I'm really bothered by politics.

Depends how extreme.
Tory vs Labour, fine.
BNP versus English Disco Lovers--not so much.
Trump supporter-cringe!

DH and I have quite dissimilar views - I'm quite lefty; he's central right. I never used to be interested in politics (and he wasn't very) so it didn't really come up for the first few years. Then I got interested in current affairs during the Scottish referendum and suddenly we were having constant debates - some friendly, some less so. We've reached a bit of a detente where we both think we're right but have stopped fighting about it. Still have lively debates but have stopped taking everything so personally. DH is actually more left than he thinks he is - won't stop voting Tory, though, grr!

Not sure I would start a brand-new relationship with someone of opposing views, though - sounds a bit too much like hard work!

Why would his morals necessarily "be so different" to yours? That is an odd assumption to make.

DH and I have quite different political views and often vote differently, however, our morals are absolutely aligned.

I married a Guardian-eating liberal but we've made it work for over 3 decades.

I don't like any kind of extremes though. BNP or Corbynite would end it for me.

Different mainstream political leanings certainly aren't a deal breaker.

I agree, it depends. I am left wing, my DH is more right wing but it doesn't cause issues. It does make voting a bit is a waste of time as we cancel each other out. However we do agree that it is important to use your vote so go along anyway.

We do tend to agree on matters of conscience though, so although he is right wing he is not racist or homophobic. Those would be deal breakers for me.

Myself and DH are from very different backgrounds.
We also have differing views politically.
But 10 Years on and still happy as Larry.

I think the values underlying the political views matter. So yes I could not be with someone who did not care about people who struggle.

No,unless it was extreme. A different view makes for interesting debates/chats but people seem so self righteous these days, so quick to turn to insults and rage.

I was going to say the same as anonymousbird - why the remark about his 'morals' being so different to yours?

My DH and I don't agree on everything political and we don't always vote the same way (sometimes we do, sometimes we don't).
I know plenty of happy marriages where one person votes Lib/Labour and the other Tory. All works out fine.
I'd personally not want to be in a relationship with anyone with extreme views (far right/left) but it's be pretty boring to be with someone that thinks exactly the same as you on everything in life. We just agree to differ!

We were both vaguely Liberal if we did bother to talk politics when we first hooked up. Our relationship has survived me voting in favour of Brexit. I'm perfectly happy with the trading bit, just don't like the way the political part of the system works.

Not unless they are communists/extreme socialists/racial supremacists. I'm fine with blairite type socialists or hardcore neoliberals. I don't agree with the latter on many points (I'm fairly centrist, left on some issues, right on others. Hardcore liberal re criminal matters/civil rights. Somewhat liberal economically although I do think that we have an obligation to provide financial security to vulnerable members of our society when no one else will take responsibility for them so i don't often encounter diametric opposites politically. I am also not particularly attatched emotionally to my views. I like to discuss and challenge and sometimes change my views when I see a rational reason to do so). The former however and both arrogant and extremely callous political views that give rise to genocidal and oppressive regimes. I can only assume from last experience that anyone who supports such politics is either extremely ignorant and naive (which I find unattractive) or has a personality disorder.

Depends how different.

Both moderate but one of you thinks the tories are best placed to achieve moderate aims and one thinks labour are.. not a problem. Especially if your ideals and morals are similar (because lets be honest, it isn't clear who is best place to sort out the mess the country is in!)

Into political activism? Not gonna work.

One of you a raving Thaterite and one of you a Corbynite... Not gonna work.

No it wouldn't bother me. If they were someone I had lots in common with and like I can't imagine they would have such different extreme views to mine that I couldn't spend time with them. If they were for example a total racist I wouldn't be with them anyway.

I'd respect they had a different view to me on some things and that's totally fine.

Depends. You Labour, him UKIP for example I would think it would be a problem.

I couldn't be with a Tory.

I also have very strong feelings about Scottish independence (I'm a firm Yes) so that would probably come into play.

DH and I have similar identical political views but that doesn't mean that we will never have a disagreement about it, just that nothing has happened at this point in time to cause such a disagreement. I wouldn't make a decision based on that alone.

However, if their political opinions were influenced by bigger issues I would make a decision on that, e.g. if he thought Jeremy Hunt is doing a good job, privatising the railways was a good idea, everyone on benefits is lazy, etc. I would end it without hesitation

I couldn’t be in a relationship with a Tory. Or anyone who even vaguely agreed with UKIP/BNP type shite.

DP and I voted the same way in the Brexit vote (remain) and Indy Ref (yes) so that was never an issue although I can imagine it could have been if we had differing opinions.

DH & I have very different political views. We have never voted the same in any election. In 30 years we have had many robust debates (even more so now that our children are grown up and join in too!) but it has never caused a problem. I think we have even rubbed off on each other a bit ie our positions have each softened somewhat and moved closer together (but only a little).

DH identifies as Tory, and identifies me as a "red under the bed," despite the fact that I've never voted Lab that he knows about anyway.

We are both remainers, so thankfully that wasn't an issue, and he's becoming more centrist as time goes on.

But would it be fair to say that his political views (which are usually horribly uninformed, despite what he says) have caused contention in our relationship? Yes, it would.

Sorry we both voted remain in the EU referendum, but never the same in general elections

Yes it would be a deal breaker for me. Political views say a lot about someone

UKIP/BNP would be a definite no for me.

I'm a leftie. Was strongly yes in the referendum. I am anti brexit.
He is Tory, anti independence and pro brexit.

I think for example if I probed further I would discover we have very different views on say the refugee situation.

I think for me it's probably a deal breaker.