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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU / Am I a bad parent because

73 replies

MagnaFlos · 14/01/2018 21:09

I don't always take my children's temperature with a thermometer when they have a temperature? I find I can tell by touch how hot they are and when I need to give them medicine to bring their temperature down.

I think I did when they were little babies. And I might if they were really burning up. But usually I just do it by touch.

Is that irresponsible? Or normal? Confused

OP posts:
treaclesoda · 14/01/2018 21:10

I've only ever taken my children's temperature about three or four times in their entire lives, and the eldest is almost 12. I think it's totally normal.

grasspigeons · 14/01/2018 21:13

I ready a study once that mums were able to accurately tell their child had a fever this way (the study was on mums, I'm not being sexist) I wish I could remember where I read it
I'll try google and see if I can find it.

PinkHeart5914 · 14/01/2018 21:14

I’ve never used a thermometer yet admittedly mine are only toddlers so that could change, like you I judge by how hot they are to touch like my mum did with me she never used a thermometer.

If your a bad parent I am too......

Oysterbabe · 14/01/2018 21:15

Yanbu. I take my child's temperature by kissing their foreheads, I can tell instantly if it's too high.

fruitpastille · 14/01/2018 21:15

My GP told me that a thermometer wasn't needed! If they feel hot they are hot. Also that a temp is not necessarily a bad thing if child isn't poorly with it.

firawla · 14/01/2018 21:16

Yanbu I use my hand too, tells me what I need to know, and more quickly than a thermometer does. I’m sure it’s normal

pickleofficer · 14/01/2018 21:16

Don't worry. I don't either. I just know when they have a fever

FlashTheSloth · 14/01/2018 21:16

I always use the thermometer. DS ended up with a febrile convusion (I wasn't aware this was what it was at the time) as a toddler due to temperature and I hadn't taken it with a thermometer. It's habit now as as soon as it goes red, out comes the medicine. I usually can tell with my hand as they do feel like they are burning, but DS is generally a warm child anyway and there have been times he has felt hot but not had a fever.

athingthateveryoneneeds · 14/01/2018 21:16

What have parents done for a millennia before the invention of home thermometers? You're fine. :)

SlackerMum1 · 14/01/2018 21:16

Meh... I don’t either. You can definitely feel
If it’s too high and you know to give calpol etc. And then later you can feel if it’s come down. I think I’ve only measured it properly when DD had chicken pox and it didn’t drop with meds so wanted to keep a closer eye.

WhooooAmI24601 · 14/01/2018 21:16

12 and 7 year olds and I can tell by looking at them if they're ill, and by touch if they've a fever, definitely.

We have an digital ear thermometer we bought when DS1 was young and it's been used a handful of times.

DurhamDurham · 14/01/2018 21:17

My two are now 24 and 20, they managed to survive despite me never taking their temperatures. I used the hand on their forehead method which served us well.

trevthecat · 14/01/2018 21:17

I can tell by kissing the forehead. My mum always did it this way too

shugfish · 14/01/2018 21:18

I’m a paediatrician and don’t own a thermometer. Rely on feeling the kids with my hand and assessment of how unwell they seem in themselves.

xyzandabc · 14/01/2018 21:18

I bought a thermometer once, when eldest was a baby. I could only ever get it to tell us that everyone had a temp or 33/34 which I'm pretty sure is very cold, they weren't cold. We only ever tried it on fit healthy people, and never got it to work. So have never used one. 3 kids, eldest is 10.

You can tell by feeling and looking and their behaviour if there is something to be concerned about.

DramaAlpaca · 14/01/2018 21:18

I'm with you too. Mine are grown up now but I could always tell if they had a temperarure by touching their foreheads, same as my DM used to do with me. I've never actually possessed a thermometer, never felt the need. If I was worried I'd seek medical help of course.

TheDailyMailIsADisgustingRag · 14/01/2018 21:19

I don’t use a thermometer as I’ve never had one which actually works accurately. Not since the ye olde mercury ones anyway. The two digital thermometers I’ve had have been so crap - both show everyone has having dangerously low temperatures until you have about three goes. Is it just me that has this problem? I’m probably more accurate just doing it by touch tbh.

PinkyBlunder · 14/01/2018 21:20

I can tell by touch mostly but DD also looks and smells different when she’s got a temperature - only to me apparently, no one else finds the same! Then I use a thermometer so I can say ‘told you so’ Grin

Sportsnight · 14/01/2018 21:21

I can’t tell. I have felt, thought they were hot, checked with the thermometer and they’re not feverish. I’d potentially be over medicating without a thermometer, so prefer to check that way. I run a bit cold myself, so perhaps that’s why I can’t feel it?

TheFairyCaravan · 14/01/2018 21:21

When our children (21 & 23) were little our GP told us that we didn’t need to take their temperature with a thermometer to know they had a fever.

We did have a thermometer but the batteries didn’t always work.

FlashTheSloth · 14/01/2018 21:21

@fruitpastille is that right? DS has a (very rare for him) fever at the moment, but he insists he feels fine. He has laid around more this weekend and slept in the day but he is adamant he feels ok. Probably because he has a sports tournament tomorrow that he is desperate to go to. He's been sneezing a bit and looks a bit whiteish but he doesn't actually seem ill, walking around normally, done some homework, helped out in the kitchen, eating normally.

EB123 · 14/01/2018 21:22

i usually feel the back of the neck on mine.

MadMags · 14/01/2018 21:24

I use the kiss to the forehead Wink

silvousplaitmerci · 14/01/2018 21:26

I instantly know when I touch DD if she has a temp. I then have a feel at her torso because it gets soooooo warm with a temperature. Then I get the thermometer out

SheepyFun · 14/01/2018 21:27

We only have a thermometer because when DH was hospitalised (with a temperature among other things) and was asked what temperature he'd been over the last few days. I could only say far hotter than he should have been (significant, not mild fever). The medics I spoke to weren't very impressed. But I did know he had a fever, despite the copious paracetamol he'd been taking.