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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU / Am I a bad parent because

73 replies

MagnaFlos · 14/01/2018 21:09

I don't always take my children's temperature with a thermometer when they have a temperature? I find I can tell by touch how hot they are and when I need to give them medicine to bring their temperature down.

I think I did when they were little babies. And I might if they were really burning up. But usually I just do it by touch.

Is that irresponsible? Or normal? Confused

OP posts:
fruitpastille · 14/01/2018 21:27

Well I'm just an internet random but my understanding is that a fever can be useful as it is body's response to fight off infection. If child insists they are ok to carry on they probably are!

Shinygoldbauble · 14/01/2018 21:27

I've always had a thermometer and get an eye on temperature when the dcs were ill. I can tell if they have a fever without one but when we've had to see the doctor I've always been asked what their temp is even though the doctor then takes it.

CheshireChat · 14/01/2018 21:28

I use the kissing method as well, but I generally double check with a thermometer if DS feels too hot as I'm always freezing and he feels too warm to me anyways.

Original poster
MagnaFlos · 14/01/2018 21:28

Oh good, pleased it seems I'm not a lazy parent!

I was just wondering because when I was at my SIL's house the other day ds(3) suddenly spiked a fever. She immediately went to get their thermometer and took his temperature, and said it was only a degree off the temperature you're supposed to take them to hospital for! Whereas I would have just touched him, and gone, 'yes, that's a temperature, I should probably get you some calpol'! In fact I'm sure he's been hotter than that before...

Not mocking my SIL - she's great. Just made me worried I was a poor parent!

OP posts:
Tumilnaughts · 14/01/2018 21:28

I use the inside of my wrist. I can tell when she's unwell as she'll be hot and just generally not herself. Who needs an overpriced piece of plastic to tell me that?

NiceViper · 14/01/2018 21:30

I tend to go by feel, and whether they smell I'll.

But given the latest guidelines - that you shouldn't medicate simply to bring down a temperature (unless following specific HCP instruction) - I wouldn't give calpol unless the DC said they were in pain.

DipsyLaLa22 · 14/01/2018 21:31

I’m a GP and don’t have thermometer at home for my own kids. The number doesn’t matter (unless tiny babies) - they either have a fever or they don’t.

Looneytune253 · 14/01/2018 21:31

I would use a thermometer if my child seemed very very hot. I could tell if they have a fever and may administer calpol but if they feel very very hot I’d prefer to find out if it’s over 40 as it could be quite dangerous at that point. I’m a childminder too but for the minded children I always use the thermometer so I can let parents know how bad it is.

LittleBirdBlues · 14/01/2018 21:32

A feverish child feels hot in a different way than just being warm from too much running etc. So I agree with you OP you don't need a thermometer to tell whether or not they have a temperature.

That said, one of my dc gets extremely high temperatures very quickly. I've had to call an ambulance when she was a few months old because there simply wasn't a way to bring it down and she was heading towards a seizure.
So when she gets really hot I start tracking her temperature every few minutes to assess whether it's going up or down. My hand wouldn't do a good enough job, I need a thermometer. I wouldn't want to call for an ambulance or go to A&E for no reason but I obviously also wouldn't want to wait too long.

So I guess, it depends...

Scotinoz · 14/01/2018 21:32

Another lazy parent here! We have a thermometer, but I just feel the back of their neck and just know if they're not right. Worked so far!

Shinygoldbauble · 14/01/2018 21:33

I think it's good to have access to a thermometer though. When my dd was 8 she came home from school complaining of feeling ill. She seemed a little warm so I took her temp. It was 41C. I took her to the doctor immediately. She had a fairly serious infection. If I had put her to bed with a spoon of Calpol things could have been much worse.

BrutusMcDogface · 14/01/2018 21:34

You can tell by touch if your child has a temp, but I always check with the thermometer a) to make sure it isn't 40+ (same as pp) and b) -also same as pp- have been asked in ghe walk in centre/docs/children's ward what the temperature has been therefore it seems important to know numbers! Ours has been reliable so far (Braun ear thermometer)

Gingaaarghpussy · 14/01/2018 21:34

My DS usually radiates the heat when he has a temperature. Bright red cheeks are also an indicator. I was told that the back of the neck was the best place to check. Cue a loud scream and wriggling, because I generally have cold hands. Poor kid Grin

LittleBirdBlues · 14/01/2018 21:35

was only a degree off the temperature you're supposed to take them to hospital for!

A whole degree is a lot! 38 is quite mild, 39 and I'd start paying attention.

Out of interest, what is the degree you are meant to take them to hospital at? I didn't know that existed.

iatethepies · 14/01/2018 21:35

I have one and always use it if they feel hot to the touch. I will then monitor after Calpol to make sure it comes down. I wouldn't feel accurate doing this by touch alone as my hands are either freezing or sweaty so I'm a bad judge.

TammySwansonTwo · 14/01/2018 21:37

I use one - not to know whether they have a temp, but to know how high it is and whether I need to take any action. My twins were very poorly preemies though so I guess I have a different mindset. Once they're older I'm sure I won't be so concerned about the specifics.

CurlsandCurves · 14/01/2018 21:38

I was once asked what I used to take my child’s temperature. I replied ‘my hand’.

Obviously there are situations where you need an accurate reading, my nephew had a serious illness and needed regular monitoring. But I’m lucky enough that my kids have not had anything more serious than a heavy cold.

maddiemookins16mum · 14/01/2018 21:42

I could tell by looking at DD - flushed, glassy eyed almost. I'm pretty sure mums before the 90's (or thereabouts) mostly went by instinct and how their child looked.

BertrandRussell · 14/01/2018 21:42

A child can be really poorly with not much of a temperature and not very poorly with a high one. Go by the child, not the thermometer.

MonumentalAlabaster · 14/01/2018 21:44

I had 3 children and never owned a thermometer

MajesticWhine · 14/01/2018 21:46

I can tell if my DC have a temperature. I think we have a thermometer somewhere. Recently mentioned to a mum ahead of a play date that DD was recovering from a cold / sore throat. She asked me what her temperature was. I said I "normal I think" and that I hadn't taken it and she cancelled the play date. I was like this Hmm.

WorraLiberty · 14/01/2018 21:47

I've had 3 kids and never owned a thermometer

My parents had 5 kids and never owned one either

Sarahh2014 · 14/01/2018 21:47

Me too

BertrandRussell · 14/01/2018 21:47

“and said it was only a degree off the temperature you're supposed to take them to hospital for! ”
A degree is a lot! And I didn”t know there was a hospital cut off- what I it?

And surely you only supposed to give if the child is in pain or uncomfortable-not just for a fever?

TheFirstMrsDV · 14/01/2018 21:50

I don't use a thermometer.
When DD got cancer we had to go and buy one because you have to take accurate readings.
A point of a degree here or there doesn't make a difference with an otherwise healthy child. If they are hot, they are hot and it needs dealing with.