AIBU / Am I a bad parent because

[MagnaFlos]

I don't always take my children's temperature with a thermometer when they have a temperature? I find I can tell by touch how hot they are and when I need to give them medicine to bring their temperature down.

I think I did when they were little babies. And I might if they were really burning up. But usually I just do it by touch.

Is that irresponsible? Or normal?

I can tell by touch if they have a temperature but use the thermometer to decide whether to give calpol or not - ds2 has a temperature this evening and it touched 40 so I gave calpol.

As pp says there is a study showing that a mum's kiss test perfectly identifies a high temperature. I dont use a thermometer.

Also dont give meds on the basis of a temperature- medicate based on symptoms. A high temperature just means the body is fighting something off.

Don't own a thermometer. I remember MIL basically telling my I was the worst of worst mothers because I dipped My elbow in my sons bath water to check the temperature rather than using a thermometer 🙄

Don't own a thermometer and I have 3dc

Does calpol actually bring down a fever?

My eldest was weird though.

When he got a high temperature, his forehead was always cool to touch but the backs of his hands and his feet would be burning up

Nope I don't use a thermometer. I can tell by touch - of their forehead, tummy and hands

We have one somewhere..... But if they are ill with a temperature they smell 'wrong'

I don't u less they are burning up purely to see if it's dangourosely high.
But I tell by kissing their forehead. You get a better reading of temperature that way and added tlc to.

My are adults/teens now and there is no thermometer in the house.

I didn’t have one until my baby had febrile convulsions then I bought one as I needed to know what their temperature was.

When DD was little there were only mercury and glass jobs and I couldn’t work them out. I used my hand on her chest and back of neck as a guide. It seemed to work ok.

I use it only if they feel very very hot just to have an idea in case I need to call the doctor etc. If they feel hot, I give them medicine. If the feel warm I leave them to it. As a pp said - temperature is not a bad in itself, it's the body fighting the illness.

Child's condition is far more important than exact temp. You will know when it's high and especially when it's very high. Exact numbers don't actually equal seizure so I don't think you need to be watching a thermometer to know how I'll your child is.

No thermometer in this house either and eldest is 15.
I knew that seeing a high number would almost undoubtedly set my health anxiety off and instead I rely on how they are in themselves combined with how hot they feel.

make room for me on the irresponsible bench

Paracetamol reduces temperature. However, I was told (and provided with a link but I think it’s now in the NICE guidelines) the latest research indicates that paracetamol reduces temperature but not the chances of a febrile seizure. Hence why you aren’t supposed to give calpol just to reduce temp, as it then hides the risks (associated with high temp) rather than effectively combating them.

We didn't have one, then DS1 started getting tonsillitis regularly which would send his temperature to 40. He'd shake and I'd end up calling 111, they'd ask me what his temperature was and because I didn't know we'd end up hospital (obviously we'd already given calpol and ibuprofen but DS was still shaking with freezing hands and feet). He didn't have febrile convulsions but drs were concerned this could happen - they advised us to get a thermometer to check how fast his temperature would go up, not necessarily the precise number it got to.

We were told that we'd know if he had a fever, and if the fever was bad and required attention then the symptoms presenting would be obvious. Anyway, since we've got the thermometer we all get checked about 3 times a day, it just keeps me on my toes and in a constant state of anxiety every time it glows orange as I consider what illness is about to sweep through the house over the next 24 hours.

If it wasn't for he tonsillitis issue we probably still wouldn't have one. Plus the heat on a child from fever is nothing like them just being too hot, they actually feel like they're burning.

“Anyway, since we've got the thermometer we all get checked about 3 times a day”

Honesty, you need to stop that!

The only time I took DDs temp was when she was little and got her first second and third set of injections. Now she's a toddler she won't let me get the thermometer anywhere near her 😂

I’ve packed an ear thermometer and meds in my dd’s ‘go pack’ since she was tiny.

Just because I can feel her temp with my hand, or by looking at her, doesn’t mean whoever else is looking after her can, right?

I’ve tried to teach her dad to do it like I do, but he genuinely can’t be trusted to feel it accurately.

Grandma has also lost her touch (after a 30 year break from toddlerdom). Aunty 1 gives meds too quickly and needs to be told to check with a thermometer first. Childminder has limited experience with the ‘forehead thing’ (only child, no kids of her own) although top notch with the theory of childhood ailments.

We own thermometers to ensure everyone’s on the right page and there’s no misinterpretation, not because I can’t assess a fever accurately myself without one.

Nope I do the same. I dont think we have a thermometer.

“We own thermometers to ensure everyone’s on the right page and there’s no misinterpretation, not because I can’t assess a fever accurately myself without one.”

Does your child have health issues?

I’m a nurse, I don’t own one. If my child looks ill and is uncomfortable they get an amtipyrexial. If they are comfortable they don’t get any medicine. I don’t need a thermometer to know if my child is in pain or showing other signs of a high fever....