To report a family if they won't actually get help?

[DoinItForTheKids]

This would be the third time of reporting. On the plus side: the kids are well fed, well clothed, well presented, not in obvious poverty, home is clean, school attendance good, no concerns about drugs/substance abuse.

On the negative side: Daily shouting by parents to kids and back again, daily screaming by the kids, shouting and screaming are normal conversations, then swearing at the kids such as "you fcking dickhead" and a new one today "you fcking bitch" - kids are probably 8 and 10. Sadly, I get to hear this every. single. day. Dad is a big lad and I cannot imagine that this isn't intimidating and upsetting for these children, mum isn't any better although I've not heard her swear - call them stupid and stuff yes, but not swear at them.

I have no idea if my previous reports resulted in a visit but guess it might have as both parents hate me (it's not possible for anyone else to have reported it other than me, so I risk of course further nastiness from them if I report again this time).

My concern is that it's worth risking having verbals etc from them IF something will actually be done about it. On the basis of what I've noted here, would they get a visit from a SW? Would they meet criteria for ongoing help? What help would they get based on the kids ages and the high unlikelihood that the SW would ever be able to observe the shouting, swearing and name calling - all they'll see is a nice home, two nice cars, well dressed family, well nourished family?

If in reality they are unlikely to get picked up for help or there is no help out there, there's in effect no point in reporting (although it's the right thing to do). When a SW visits (if they do) they won't get to see/hear any of this stuff that I hear.

Don't know what to do. I mean, I do, but I don't want it to in effect be pointless. Hope that makes sense.

I would guess it's a matter of time before there is violence. Teenagers won't accept the abuse I wouldn't think, they'll clear off or fight back I would guess. So worth reporting so there is a background of info.

Also it seems the girl is difficult at school. Reporting might be taken into account if something is done by the school to improve her behaviour.

I'm sure it depends where you live whether there might be support. Surely SS can't ignore reports and are obliged to visit so there is a possibility that they might recognise physical abuse, which could be happening.

Report them - it may be that they can be offered early intervention like parenting support. That would be voluntary but you never know, they may take it up.
From a schools perspective, as well as reporting though nspcc or directly to your local service, maybe share some info with their school. They might have no idea!

Stressed, Emotional Harm is more than recognised nowadays. "Risk of future emotional harm" is actually being used in the Family Courts to remove children.

Sadly bubbaleo, emotional risk on its own clearly isn't recognised on here! It seems for some it only becomes valid to report when there's either neglect and/or physical abuse involved as well (which flies in the face of any child protection training that's given here in the UK).

As it should be stressed.

CBA I get you. I hate the summer as I can't even go out and sit in the garden (I won't go into details of the multiple ways in which I'm not able to enjoy my own garden, heck, I can't even sit in the living room as they gawp in there as well (supporting what I said about surely they aren't being properly supervised' - unless the parents think it's ok for them to act like peeping toms gawping into someone else's home; I know I wouldn't ever let my children do that!). I spend most of the summer with the French doors shut, the curtains drawn and the TV on as loud as possible to drown out the shouting and screaming and provide myself with some privacy. I absolutely hate it. I've even stopped doing anything to my garden - there's no point, I can't go out and enjoy it.

Yeah sumo I know it's a difficult one. I feel they are a family who will present well and there won't be hugely significant issues at school. Awful, isn't it, that actually these children might well end up better off it it does escalate to violence - then they'll have a firm basis to go on there (and they've still got my two previous non-anonymous reports and my address so they can always come round and ask me if I still hear the same things.

Still haven't decided what to do....

I have complete and utter sympathy for you (and the neighbour's children) because I have a similar issue! Neighbour moved in 1.5yrs ago, her DD (who I've never actually seen just heard) started school this year so the oldest she'd have been at that point was 3.5yrs.

From the day they moved in she just shouted abuse at her all day and night (unless, of course, she had visitors - at which point she became the perfect parent). I ummed and aaahed for month or so but reported her after she screamed at her daughter that she was "a fucking slut" for wetting the bed.

Social services either wrote to her/called her/paid her a visit but obviously decided things were fine. I also reported her to the housing association we were both under. She then got very loud and threatening towards me, nothing outright but she'd have her friends round drinking at the weekend and they'd smoke out the front at 2am drunk shouting outside my window about what a fucking cunt I was and she regularly shouts she's going to come round and batter me through the wall. I dropped it but it honestly breaks my heart for the little girl. It also terrifies DS (7).

For those saying it's nothing, I don't think it's healthy for children growing up hearing things like:
"I wish I could just fucking get rid of you"
"Shut the fuck up or I'll kill you"
"Shut up you attention seeking little bitch"

Especially when it's screamed full volume in their face while they're already crying. Our walls are paper thin and I hear the girl running away from her and she follows her screaming at her. It's awful.

And to those doubting whether the OP is concerned or 'inconvenienced' - it's possible to be both!! As I said, I hate hearing how she speaks to her DD, it makes me feel uneasy so god knows what it does to a 5 year old. But I am also entitled to not be harassed in my own home, as is DS. To not have to listen to it 24/7. That doesn't make me any less concerned about the little girl, it's just another facet to it.

OP I have decided my only option is to move, which is what I'm doing this month but I appreciate that I am in an incredibly lucky position to be able to do so and that might not be an option for you. I would explore if there's any way you can though. You shouldn't have to but it won't get better and, as others have said, SS are so over stretched that they won't do anything about verbal abuse. I am, however, going to report my neighbour again once I've left and I am going to write a letter to be posted to the family moving in saying I'm willing to back up any complaints they make to the council and making them aware of the situation. It won't make a difference SS wise but I'm not comfortable with doing nothing.

If you report it I can’t see much being done about it if the kids are clean, well fed and not being physically abused.
I’ve recently moved from an area of my town where this is the norm, most of the kids had the latest phones and were dressed very fashionably and immaculately and appeared to be very much loved but it wasn’t unusual to hear lots of shouting and swearing at the children by both parents, from what I could see it was water off a ducks back to the kids. It’s normal to be shouted at to get indoors for your fucking dinner or get in the fucking car you little shit we are going to be late amongst some families.
Over the course of the summer holidays I witnessed all sorts of interesting parenting, a boy getting a whack round the head for playing in the road, nobody batted an eyelid, a girl who was so covered in cat flea bites that I thought she had chicken pox, a drunk mother throwing bin liners full of her bf clothes out of the bedroom window while her kids who had been playing in the street below just watched, another mother who had a speed habit and most smoked weed.
Unfortunately there are families like this all over the country,
If I had reported shouty sweary parenting I would have had to report practically every household in the street.
It’s very sad and awful for the children but it’s the way some people live.

Thank you for such a well thought out response cake. Yes, it is possible to be both as you say. Sounds like your neighbours are even worse [shudder]. Do you know, oddly enough, I've tried to move - twice! - to a house that's just perfect for me but have failed twice to get it even got to offers accepted both sides but all has fallen through. I am stuck here (hence the wish they'd have another child and bugger off themselves!). Like your neighbours, for the most part, some magical transformation occurs as they step out through the front door! I don't know how it happens!

hence the wish they'd have another child and bugger off themselves!

That's an odd wish considering you think they're abusive...

What is it you're posting to ask for exactly? You've reported them twice already, report them again if you think it needs to be done. What are you hesitating for?

Sorry to be blunt there.

I don't get why you want them to have another child if they're so abusive. Why don't you move?