Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Do I get more money?

304 replies

bridgetjonesmassivepants · 14/01/2018 10:31

Can't work this out. I've changed a few details so it's not very identifiable and posting here for traffic.

Recently my mum died and my sister and I were left with £150,000 between us. (Bungalow had already been sold as mum had just moved into a nursing home) Will says everything is split between us two. But, my sister had a loan for £8000 from mum when she sold the bungalow to buy a car, she had only paid back £1000 of this when mum died.

Question is, how is the £150,000 split taking into account that sister has got an extra £7000?

OP posts:
kittensinmydinner1 · 16/01/2018 07:58

For all those with their fingers jammed on the !!!!!!!! at the 'greedy OP' not simply waiving her diamond encrusted hand and saying 'I'm happy to write off your loan' - are perhaps from very wealthy backgrounds.
I would assume that this actually isn't the case - or sister would have bought her own car without need of a loan - and in fact 7K is a very significant sum. It is all relative to where you stand financially. No one seems to baulk at the idea of 'mentioning the debt' if it were 40k . So it's not an issue of the 'principle' it is an issue of fairness.
'£75k !!!!!!! ' - whilst a significant sum to many, would for example not be sufficient to purchase a home. - May be intended to pay off a mortgage. There are many variables. Imagine if your mortgage was 3.5k short of being paid off because your sister had had a car. Then it would be 'significant' .
If both sisters are already financially well off and this money is not 'needed' then obviously less of an issue.

But all said and done. There is absolutely no reason to believe the sister won't be entirely reasonable about this.

hellsbellsmelons · 16/01/2018 08:25

This totally outlines what you should be putting to your sister.
And I agree with you OP.
You shouldn't just write off £7K.
If you were there and more a support for your DM then she wouldn't want you to go short.

£150k ÷ 2 = £75k each
£75k - £7 owed = £68k for your sister
£7k (now back in the estate) ÷ 2 = £3.5k each
You get £78.5
Sister gets £71.5K

SaucySpider · 16/01/2018 09:05

What do you think your mum would have wanted to happen with the debt? Exactly this happened to me and my sister. My parents lent her and her (obnoxious) husband £30,000 to buy their house. Mum and Dad then split up and my sister was paying them half each back. When Dad died he had told me that he didn't want his son-in-law to 'get away' with not paying the debt back so as executor and with the agreement of my sister we added the debt to the estate, divided by two, with me getting half and my sister getting the other half less the amount she owed. Mum, however, made it clear she wanted the debt to die when she did so we simply ignored the outstanding amount and shared what Mum had left equally.

Allthewaves · 16/01/2018 09:10

Op ignore all the idiots saying you are grabby. You need to put figures to sibling and see if they are happy. Though unless your mum included it in her will an argument could be made for writing off the loan.

WalkingEverywhere · 16/01/2018 09:33

Wow, I constantly amazed at how nasty some of the comments that Mumsnetters are. The OP was crystal clear what the purpose of the thread was and yet some posters still think she still needs to be 'told' how mean and petty she is.

Even if you think the OP should give her sister the money why on earth do posters have to phrase it so aggressively and unkindly. Do people get off on being nasty or something?

It pathetic.

StrawberryMummy90 · 16/01/2018 10:03

I don’t know why posters are saying this whole thread is about the maths and her executing the will properly..

OP said herself, the 14 year old girl in her is screaming ‘it’s not fair!!’ That sister gets more money.

I think a lot of posters think that’s petty and don’t understand how OP can even be thinking like that when her mum has just passed.

Esspee · 16/01/2018 10:06

Your mother's estate, plus any money owed to her is to be split equally.
Not hard to work out.
Just write down the calculation, get your sister to agree you've worked it out correctly and issue the cheques.
Do not write it off. It will always be there between your relationship with your sister if you do.
Sorry for your lossFlowers

Esspee · 16/01/2018 10:11

Just confirming it should be a £78.5/£71.5 split.

Okadas · 16/01/2018 10:30

StrawberryMummy90

How about this - your father dies and leaves £150k in the bank to be split equally between you and a sibling.

Would you really say "Why don't I take £68k and you take the other £82k...?

Bearbehind · 16/01/2018 11:02

okadas, that's a pretty ridiculous example as one person ends up with £14k more that the other Hmm

You can make up any figures you like if you want I suppose but it doesn't really contribute much to the thread.

The fact is, if the loan is formal, the OP is duty bound to call it in as part of her role as executor.

If the loan could not be proved and the sister denied it the OP would be £3.5k worse off than she will be now.

Okadas · 16/01/2018 11:14

Actually my example is showing that the sister gets an additional £7k on top of her £75k. Why do the amounts matter? One is getting more than the other.

But fine. One sister gets £75k, the other gets £83k. That is still not an equal split and contrary to the will.

There will be proof of the sister receiving the £8k and regular transactions between daughter and mother showing repayments.

Bearbehind · 16/01/2018 11:17

Jeez, the maths is still appalling on here- the other sister would get £82k not £83k!

You are arguing the same point as me on the loan- if there is proof it will need to become part of the estate.

If there isn't proof or the sister contests it then the siblings will probably fall out over the £3.5k extra the OP could have had.

stevie69 · 16/01/2018 11:18

I didn't think the executor could inherit?

Well, you were wrong!

Okadas · 16/01/2018 11:23

There is no need to be so rude. I hit a 2 instead of a 3 on my tiny keypad. Big whoop. If you look further back in the thread you will see my correct calculations.

I'm not arguing there is proof, I am saying there will be proof. Unless you are going to suggest the sister has been sending her mother Canadian dollars in envelopes to cover her trails.

Bearbehind · 16/01/2018 11:30

I wasn't being rude; I was pointing out the fact you'd got your figures wrong twice in a row.

Money brings out the worst in people; if the loan isn't specifically mentioned in the will the sister might claim it was agreed the loan ended when the mother died or something.

The best outcome would be the sister agreeing the figures, including the loan, from the start.

If the OP hasn't even discussed it then we can't possibly second guess the outcome except to the extent that, if you can't speak to your sister about something as basic as this, things might not turn out as you'd like them to.

StrawberryMummy90 · 16/01/2018 14:17

How about this - your father dies and leaves £150k in the bank to be split equally between you and a sibling.

Would you really say "Why don't I take £68k and you take the other £82k...?

No I wouldn’t insist I got more money...don’t really see the point you’re trying to make? Confused

Okadas · 16/01/2018 15:39

My point is why is the OP petty to want fairness?

Maybe you'd be happy to lose part of your inheritance for peace and harmony with a sister you rarely see, but I dont see anything wrong with the OP being upset at the inequality.

StrawberryMummy90 · 16/01/2018 15:52

Okadas

Like any other situation, you need to look at the circumstances.

OP is entitled to act any way she wishes within this situation and we are all entitled to an opinion.

If it was me personally, considering the circumstances and how much money I am getting, I would let it go and not mention it. Regardless of whether I’m close with my sister or not, at a time like this, I wouldn’t want the extra angst and headache that a situation like this could potentially cause.

When you’re getting tens of thousands pounds already, this wouldn’t be a major issue for me.

scrabbler3 · 16/01/2018 15:59

Sorry for your loss OP.

You need to account for the loan properly. It's your legal obligation as executor. I know that £3.5k isn't a huge figure and that it's difficult to raise these sorts of issues, but feelings don't really come into it where HMRC and the like are concerned. You have to tick the correct boxes. Your sister will understand this I'm sure.

Okadas · 16/01/2018 16:20

She is not entitled to act as she wishes. She is the executor of a will so is legally obligated to settle her mother's affairs as per the law. This includes paying her mother's debts (care home fees, funeral costs etc) and ensuring money owed to her mother is collected (loans, refunds etc).

ineedwine99 · 16/01/2018 16:26

Probably doesn't help but my dad has a note of everything he has paid out for my brother recently for his house, when we get our inheritance hell get that deducted from his amount so we're both fair and equal

WeAreEternal · 16/01/2018 18:34

If you don’t want to discuss it with your sister why not just treat it as if she’s had 7k of her share early.

Designate £7k to yourself to make it equal.

Then 50/50 the remaining £143k
Do you get £73.5k each

So she will get £73.5k
And you’ll get £80.5k (£73.5k + £7k)

That’s then fair and you won’t have to upset your sister.

Bearbehind · 16/01/2018 19:08

The math monsters strike again!

Half of £143k is not £73.5k Hmm

Ellie56 · 16/01/2018 20:32

Money brings out the worst in people It certainly does on Mumsnet! Hmm

No1WiseGuy · 18/01/2018 00:23

I think its only fair that your sis pays interest on the £7k borrowed too. 5% should do it.

Swipe left for the next trending thread