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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Do I get more money?

304 replies

bridgetjonesmassivepants · 14/01/2018 10:31

Can't work this out. I've changed a few details so it's not very identifiable and posting here for traffic.

Recently my mum died and my sister and I were left with £150,000 between us. (Bungalow had already been sold as mum had just moved into a nursing home) Will says everything is split between us two. But, my sister had a loan for £8000 from mum when she sold the bungalow to buy a car, she had only paid back £1000 of this when mum died.

Question is, how is the £150,000 split taking into account that sister has got an extra £7000?

OP posts:
Ironmanrocks · 15/01/2018 18:23

I can't do the maths - my head hurts after trying to read all this (Sorry).
I am sorry for your loss though, its awful having to sort things out after a parents death.
Only thing I can add (and I might be wrong as I have no idea how these things work) is that I think you have to declare the loan. Otherwise its a 'gift' and as your mum passed away before 7 years were up, your sister would have to pay a huge amount of tax on the 'gift'. You will be better off declaring it and splitting it fairly.
Good luck.

HermioneAndMsJones · 15/01/2018 18:26

It’s jnteresting because unlike the OP, my heart would say 50/50 but my head would say take the loan into account....

Oblomov18 · 15/01/2018 18:26

Actually, I disagree. Dh borrowed an amount from his mum. It was deducted from his share of her estate. Seemed totally appropriate yet me.

bridgetjonesmassivepants · 15/01/2018 18:26

There seem to be a lot of rich people who can write off £7000! That's nearly a years university tuition fees or a car or two years worth of utility bills or years of council tax. How much would this figure have to be before people said, 'Hang on!' £15,000, £30,000?

Just wasn't sure if I got £7000 more and sister didn't repay the loan or if it was £3500 - I'm rubbish with maths. That's why I didn't want to be executor. I can obviously cope with halving £150,000 but this extra amount scrambles my brain.

Also you are assuming I really have a close relationship with my sister. She has lived in Canada for nearly 25 years. I don't want to fall out with her at all but she is not a close source of support or anything like that. More like a distant relative I see every few years.

OP posts:
RB68 · 15/01/2018 18:32

Its not a case of writing it off - that would consitute a gift and be seen as still part of the estate as over 3k (allowance per annum.

Worst case is that they will call 3k a gift and the remaining 4 back to the estate. Best case loan is considered part of Mums estate so its 157

Tink2007 · 15/01/2018 18:33

I don’t think anyone is “rich and writing off £7k”.

It was an unexpected amount of money was it not?

ssd · 15/01/2018 18:37

no one here seems to be rich just thinking some things aren't worth it

anyway, the money thing is obviously very important for you so am sure you'll make sure you do all right

bridgetjonesmassivepants · 15/01/2018 18:38

So if it is unexpected it's still ok to potentially write it off?

It was unexpected as we thought the bulk of the money from the sale of mum's bungalow would be taken in care fees but that's not the point.

OP posts:
HermionesRightHook · 15/01/2018 18:40

You've actually got a legal obligation to take this into account IF it was from the proceeds of the bungalow, as you are executor.

Just present it as matter of fact when you're updating her about it, and tell the solicitor about the loan so it's all above board according to them - they can then tell you how to pay the funds out.

I am actually (nearly haven't got the loan as haven't bought the thing yet!) the sister in this scenario, and I know my parents would want it to be taken into account - I'd be quite upset if my sister didn't, I'd find it very patronising.

shinysinkredemption · 15/01/2018 18:41

Sorry for your loss.
Would it help to consider what your sister would do if the roles were reversed - would she send you an email explaining you're getting xx, she's getting yy and it's because you were £7k in debt to your Mum? For some families that's perfectly reasonable and especially if the £7k will get you something you wouldn't otherwise have. If it's neither here nor there then obviously you can be generous, split it £75k each and it would then be up to her to do the decent thing and offer you half the loan she was due to repay your Mum. Sorry for your loss.

HermionesRightHook · 15/01/2018 18:44

Cross posted with you - in that case all the more reason to be up front and legal about it.

I agree, even if I inherited half my parents estate now, god forbid, I couldn't write off that much money.

I'm really sorry about your mum by the way.

Spartaca · 15/01/2018 18:44

As executor I wouldn't discuss it. Just process taking into account the loan.

BackforGood · 15/01/2018 18:56

I'm certainly not rich, just been through the situation where I have lost my parents. It is an emotional time. You are also dealing with the sorts of money and legal things that (for most of us) are outside our experience, and outside our comfort zone. You had already said that you weren't really expecting to get anything, so you aren't relying^ on it, it will be very nice to have, but whether it is £75 000, or £78500 is not really crucial in the scheme of things.
Do what you want, obviously, but you did ask for advice.

altiara · 15/01/2018 19:05

As executor you need to do some people have advised about including the loan in the estate. It’s all documented so not a problem to phrase it as previous poster said about do you want to pay the loan off or have it deducted from your portion of the estate.
As a mum I’d want the money split 50:50 and I wouldn’t expect any fall out over it either.

altiara · 15/01/2018 19:06

50:50 including the loan being paid back that is.

Springprim · 15/01/2018 19:09

In the wise words of Elsa, "let it go".
Your mum would want you to be content at the large amount of money left to you both.

Dianag111 · 15/01/2018 19:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FaveNumberIs2 · 15/01/2018 19:12

Your mother died, she left 150k to be split between you and your sister.

Are you really going to argue over a measly fucking seven grand??

YOUR MOTHER DIED!!

There are people out there with nothing. Get real, take your 75k and live your bloody life.

TeenTimesTwo · 15/01/2018 19:16

The OP wanted to know the correct legal values as she is executor! She did not ask for advice over whether to gift her sister £3500

bridgetjonesmassivepants · 15/01/2018 19:16

Argghhh! I'm not arguing with my sister - I haven't mentioned it. I wanted an answer to a maths question, just how to settle up the inheritance taking into account the loan.

Also: FaveNumberIs2 - 'Your mum would want you to be content at the large amount of money left to you both' - how the hell do you know??? You didn't know my mum, you have no idea what her thought processes were. Unbelievable.

OP posts:
Pebbles574 · 15/01/2018 19:21

OP - please, please ignore all the ignorant posters telling you to 'let it go' and 'move on'. I can only think that they've never been through or had to manage probate. Probate is a LEGAL process with clear rules and ways of processing an estate. An executor can't just choose to ignore debts or change the nature of the distribution. He/she can be held personally financially liable for mistakes made administering the estate.

Please people, don't give 'advice' if you're not qualified to do so.

MaggieFS · 15/01/2018 19:24

OP, there are a million different and confusing ways of explaining this and it's been further complicated as some people (including me yesterday) have lost the plot with the numbers.

I'm what are hopefully simple terms, either:

1, she gives you £3.5k and then you split the house money 50/50
Or if she doesn't have that much cash

  1. You split the house money 50/50 and then she gives you £3.5k from that

Dear goodness I hope I haven't ballsed up the numbers again,

Lillithxxx · 15/01/2018 19:37

No advice OP.
I’m sorry for your loss, and I am so very ashamed that some posters on this simple thread are saying such horrible things to and about you.

No1WiseGuy · 15/01/2018 19:37

How you can cry over £7k when you're getting £75k anyway I don't understand?!?

No1WiseGuy · 15/01/2018 19:37

How you can cry over £7k when you're getting £75k anyway I don't understand?!?