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AIBU?

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Original poster

...to suspect infidelity if a couple has a joint FB account?

118 replies

Bebepoor · 13/01/2018 21:23

Unless they’re 60+.

Our neighbours have one and it’s weird. Never any idea who’s liking/loving/hahaing.

OP posts:
lostinspaceyetagain · 13/01/2018 21:50

Also if someone says they don't have Facebook, I usually assume they're a sex offender or cheater.

I would think that they are a professional person.

happilyeverafta · 13/01/2018 21:51

I know a couple who have a joint FB account.

They are married with 3 kids.

They met via Facebook.

Both were married to other people st the time. 🙄

TheStoic · 13/01/2018 21:52

of course im not stupid, I also know I can do what I like as its my facebook

Nobody can ‘add’ you without your permission. Of course you can do what you like, but that particular reason for having a joint account is ridiculous.

Trashboat · 13/01/2018 21:54

Also if someone says they don't have Facebook, I usually assume they're a sex offender or cheater.

Eh 🤔

I don't have fb, but that's because I'm not a fan of bullshit, boringness, or looking at what and acquaintance had for their tea. Not because I'm a sex offender or a cheater.

makingmiracles · 13/01/2018 21:55

Ffs heard it all now!
Some people don’t feel the need to participate in fb, my dp doesn’t, no interest in it whatsoever, certainly not a sex offender, what a strange conclusion to come to Confused

I know a lot of couples who have joint fb, especially couples with fertilIty problems who may be members of specific fb groups, just easier to be on there as a couple than individually.

BubblesBubblesBubbles · 13/01/2018 21:56

We have a joint email for the kids school stuff, as only I would get them and never give dh the info Blush

Separate fb and other emails, no issues of infidelity here.

It’s not something I would automatically assume either.

mistermagpie · 13/01/2018 21:56

Sorry but I think it's really weird. If you have an email address it takes a couple of minutes to set up a Facebook profile, so it's hardly a 'faff' is it?

You can have whatever privacy settings you want and reject any messages or friend requests as you see fit. You don't need to use your own name or a photo of yourself, you don't even need to have any friends at all if you just use it to follow stuff (news etc). So I can't see why a joint account is remotely necessary.

Not being on Facebook at all us different though, it's just a hobby isn't it? I'm not a member of a canoeing club for instance - people just like different things!

DH and I both use his amazon account (it's in his name though) but that's so we only have to pay one prime subscription.

MissSpock · 13/01/2018 21:56

I don't have fb, but that's because I'm not a fan of bullshit, boringness, or looking at what and acquaintance had for their tea. Not because I'm a sex offender or a cheater.

Lol true this. I deactivated my Facebook account for this very reason. I was thinking of the Konmari technique and the first thing that popped into my head (when I thought of things that didn't make me joyful) was Facebook so I deactivated it. I don't miss it at all.

OnionKnight · 13/01/2018 21:57

My aunt and uncle have a joint Facebook account, he cheated on her so now she monitors everything, even his phone. The cheating was years ago and as far as we know he hasn't cheated been caught again.

MissSpock · 13/01/2018 21:59

Well if it's to guard against infidelity, it's really easy to create a new Facebook account with a fictitious name no?

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 13/01/2018 22:00

We have a joint email address as it’s more practical for holiday, house things etc as we can both see the emails. No idea why anyone would think it strange. We also have personal ones but most important stuff goes into to the joint one.

c3pu · 13/01/2018 22:01

I don't have fb, but that's because I'm not a fan of bullshit, boringness, or looking at what and acquaintance had for their tea. Not because I'm a sex offender or a cheater.

Yeah I'm mainly talking about men... Speaking from experience sadly!

Lovely333 · 13/01/2018 22:03

Well everyone does things differently in life mistermagpie whether you find it weird or not.
You dont need a facebook account to be a cheater either so I dont get that point at all, My facebook is just that my Facebook not from a shared email as I said I just put his name on it it doesnt even have our official last name on it.
I dont care about social media infact I am only on it purely for the groups on it, Its very handy for that. Facebook isnt my life fortunately.

bingbongnoise · 13/01/2018 22:05

No I can honestly say I have never suspected cheating when a couple has a joint FB account or joint email. Not at all.

However, I do find it weird.

MargotsDevil · 13/01/2018 22:07

Didn't realise it was strange to have a joint email for house and holiday stuff tbh! We have personal accounts for everything else though. Ditto Amazon - why would we pay two lots of prime subscriptions? Confused

Tartyflette · 13/01/2018 22:12

DH is not on FB - he's not a technophobe at all, very IT competent but completely meh about social media, however we do share an email address.
It's very old -- I set it up in the 1990s in the early days when I was an early adopter Grin working in media/tech; we both used it as it was easy and, well, already done.
But TBH it's a bit of a pain now as he gets LOADS of extremely boring stuff to do with his main interest cluttering up the inbox, he is slow to clear them out and he won't set up a new email a/c just for him as "everyone knows his my address" and he can't be arsed to do the necessary.
And I refuse to because, well, why should I? It's mine! I SET IT UP. (and my friends know MY address too, of course - I've had it for what feels like forever. )
So, sorry, no juicy problems in the past/ trust issues. almost wish there were

Twoo · 13/01/2018 22:12

I don’t do Facebook and I am neither a sex offender or a cheater or a criminal of any kind. I respect my privacy. I like to speak to people and share news face to face or over the phone.

What was your criminal/odd ball barometer 13 years ago before Facebook existed?

lostinspaceyetagain · 13/01/2018 22:12

Sorry but I think it's really weird. If you have an email address it takes a couple of minutes to set up a Facebook profile, so it's hardly a 'faff' is it?

I think having/not having Facebook is yet another social class and education divide (a much loved mumsnet topic)

TheStoic · 13/01/2018 22:14

I think having/not having Facebook is yet another social class and education divide (a much loved mumsnet topic)

Doesn’t seem to be. You get all sorts. At least on my feed.

Finalpaoa · 13/01/2018 22:16

For the amazon prime issue, you can share amazon prime benefits across more then one account if you have the same address; www.amazon.co.uk/gp/help/customer/display.html?tag=mumsnetforum-21&nodeId=201277270
I share mine so we both get amazon prime delivery and the video stuff but on separate accounts.

Longdistance · 13/01/2018 22:18

I have two friends not on FB. One doesn’t want to be traced by her ex husband, long story, and another doesn’t want to offend people by not accepting them as a friend.

Bit of a pain, as they’re both lovely, and I FB message a lot. I would love to see pics etc if them as they live a distance away and I don’t see them that often 😟

OrlandaFuriosa · 13/01/2018 22:19

What a bizarre assumption.

We have a joint email in DH’s name which covers mutual stuff as well as his. I also have my own, but quite a lot of my mail goes to his or both, a fail safe.

I’ve fairly recently started using FB, in part for my interests, in part to keep in touch with far flung cousins. DH doesn’t use it at all, I update him as necessary.

I don’t make any assumptions. People use diff things for diff purposes at diff times and at diff ages,

c3pu · 13/01/2018 22:19

What was your criminal/odd ball barometer 13 years ago before Facebook existed?

I was a lot younger and more carefree 13 years ago! 😂

mistermagpie · 13/01/2018 22:20

Final I didn't know that about Prime, thanks!

I'm not sure about Facebook as a social class barometer though, a huge variety of people seem to use it from what I can tell?

NeedsAsockamnesty · 13/01/2018 22:20

First thing that pops into my mind is domestic abuse then it’s infidelity