Insta Mum 3

[Babaloo88]

Why is the other thread closed?!? I was enjoying reading through it?!!

I personally am really grateful for these threads. Like another poster on a previous thread, i’m on maternity leave and back in September got sucked into believing that buying all the things the Instagrammers were promoting would make me happier. Juggling 2 babies all day meant looking at Instagram was my only daily escape and i’m ashamed to say i’ve spent close to £2-3k on unnecessary clothes/accessories that i can can’t afford and will probably hardly wear.

I don’t blame any of the Instamums for this as they have to make a living but agree that had i known it was all ads, i probably would’ve thought twice before buying most of it. I feel completely stupid as i fell into a kind of depression i mistook for PND but was actually an inadequacy that no matter what i bought it was never enough to keep up. Thankfully, these threads have brought me back to earth with a massive bump and i’ve now unfollowed everyone except family and friends. I’ve written off the money i’ve spent and am trying to make use of my excess of random clothes but more importantly the moment i unfollowed my supposed ‘PND’ has also disappeared.

I hope MNHQ don’t pull this thread because overall a lot of good has come from it.

@Whatsthekey1 posts like yours are exactly why these threads should be allowed to stand and continue.

There are some instagrammers are prolific in posting and have a huge following. This list is people I have followed and still follow some. Some of those instamums/dads also post on here and defend their position.

Mother of daughters
Father of daughters
Mother pukka
Does my bum look 40 on this
Anneli Bush
Susie JVerril
Giovanni Fletcher
Cara Struthers
Lobelialoves
Some are fashion tuned mummy bloggers and some are “just” parenting ones. Some do a lot of paid partnerships and some don’t. Some have a “cause” and some don’t. Some started as just ordinary people who soad something funny/interesting and now they have grown a huge following and that has changed the landscape of Instagram and the intersection of snaps of me and my kids at the seaside / paid to holiday here or gifted this straw bag has become murky.

@whatsthekey1 I can completely relate to your post on a lesser scale. It is important these stories are shared and people are aware what's going on. I felt completely let down by my inability to recognise that so much was advertising and freebies to influence.

I think this internalizing of 'its our fault that we got sucked in and believed something that was presented to us' which is what the Instagrammers and companies who use them wants us to believe! Its a worrying dialog

When someone does a 'primark haul' or 'new look haul' is that an ad or is that a genuine shop? I've always assumed they just go shopping and share their purchases, but is that right?

I agree these discussions are having more of a positive impact than a negative one. Bar the odd bit of grumbling on instastories from some of the insta users that have been mentioned by name previously, and it is also worth pointing out, a lot of the grumbling has then been swiftly deleted!, transparency is trickling through.

@whatsthekey1 yep, I've fallen into the same trap, was naive and was assuming everything posted had been purchased. An example is one fashion blogger got a bit of flack a while ago when posting about choosing yet another designer handbag, it's only recently, when that handbag appears on her feed, I realised it had been gifted, as its now tagged as such, no mention of that when it first appeared. The extent of gifting is way bigger than I thought it was.

Another instamum, who has been previously mentioned, I do think that even she is taking not. Recent ad posts are much clearer as being ads and she's replying to comments more than before.

The timeline is starting to become - Mumsnet they're all haters - am not going to be told what to do by anyone - hmm actually, maybe they've got a point - no harm in (quietly) giving it a try - oh hey, my engagement is going up.

The ASA doesn't tell consumers 'take some responsibility and just unfollow'. Instead they lay blame wholly with the social influencer:

Ensuring the audience knows they’re being advertised to is the priority, and advertisers need to put steps in place to make sure that people are being treated fairly.

Bottom line is, without those kid pics it'd be a LOT damn harder to break into the blogging/social media influencing role. There are a lot of parents one-handedly looking at their phones at 2am while their babies feed. A lot of lonely mums on maternity leave stuck that feel isolated from their former lives - to them the online parenting communities are very attractive. A lot of shy/sad/stressed parents who would do anything to make their experience just a little bit easier. So they follow an influencer because a post they've seen rings true. Then they follow a few more because they see them tagged in the stories. And voila, within a week they're being advertised and sold to several times a day.

And it all stems from those kid pics.

I don't think anyone here has said instagrammers who use the app as part of their business should not post ads at all. The issues have always been honesty based.

Posting you kids on your feed as part of an ad campaign is a whole separate issue.

Again, Mumsnet, I ask, is this not sensible and reasoned debate? Because I can't see how you could shut this down tbh.

@Mumofkids Would Primark's margins be too low to be buying social influencer space? New Look is possibly providing gift cards for the 'hauls', similar to Marks and Spencer gift cards for 'monthly edits'.

It's all advertising.

I'm convinced a lot of garments are purchased, featured with an affiliate link, then returned for a refund.

@FlyingBird

I don't understand what you mean re gender stereotypical family?

You mean insta accounts where the dad works full time the mum's a sahm and they dress their daughters in girly clothes and sons in boyish stuff?

Instamums give a snapshot of their lives, if that is their life what is wrong with that? Can you not be a feminist and dress your daughter in a pretty dress and enjoy shopping and beauty products?

Think I have to agree with sofia here. IGers it's a snapshot of their every day life.
If you are what you call a "gender typical" family, what's wrong with showing that?
I don't look at Instas that are completely different to my own life and think that's how we all should be.

Except... The ASA doesn't really agree with your points of view, Sofia and Cady:

"But, subject to context and content considerations, the evidence suggests certain types of depictions are likely to be problematic, for example, an ad which depicts family members creating a mess while a woman has sole responsibility for cleaning it up or an ad that features a man trying and failing to undertake simple parental or household tasks because of stereotypes associated with his gender."

Interesting.

www.asa.org.uk/news/new-rule-to-ban-harmful-gender-stereotypes-next-year.html

@CadyHeron
There's loads of "feminist mothers" accounts on insta for anyone wanting to follow them.

I agree you tend to follow people you can relate to, (or in my case also Reality Tv stars and wealthy people with beautiful homes for a bit of a laugh and some home decor inspiration).

If you're into feminism, or animal rights or Save the Earth stuff then surely you choose to follow others with those interests?

That's in relation to ads though. The IG accounts themselves aren't ads.
There's nothing wrong with being an Insta with a "sterotypical, gender typical" family and sharing your life in general.

The accounts with the largest audiences are at least 90% advertising, and some of the most well known accounts are all about mum cleaning up the mess while dad bumbles about.

@MadameGrizzly

How can you say the ASA clearly don't agree with our views? All we said was that if the pics and stories on insta portray your actual life what is the harm.

My life is pretty much as I described in my other post, husband works fulltime, I'm part time, I enjoy shopping and girly stuff, I dress my daughters in predominantly girly clothes.

I also do the DIY and my daughters had "boys" toys when they were younger as well as the girly crap.

On insta I suppose we come across as a gender stereotypical family, would that mean if I had a business account I couldn't post ads?

60% is way too generous! The accounts are registered businesses with a small amount of non-advertising content padding out the advertising.

Sofia and Cady are posting again. This thread will be shut down soon.