"Accidental" messages

[dinosaursgoroar]

My ExH keeps sending me texts that are intended for his new girlfriend 'by accident'
They are always full of soppy content and finished with hundreds of 'xxxx'

The things he writes in these messages don't really even make sense, telling her things that don't add up (Work times etc - I know his shift patterns due to contact with DS) and lots of messages have said things like 'missing you babe xxxxxx'

There have been loads of issues revolving around his new partner including her randomly messaging me with harassing and accusing messages which I never got to the bottom of it. He always says 'was half asleep' or 'didn't mean to send you that'

Now I'm pretty certain he's doing it on purpose for whatever weird reason of his, but AIBU in telling him that's it's not fair and it needs to stop? Although he keeps claiming he didn't mean to do it but I've had about 5/6 texts in the last 3 weeks. Does anyone even send texts to the Wrong person by accident any more?! Thoughts/suggestions please!

His mum is aware of the new gf and the messages she sent me, because I told her! But she said nothing. I think I will just say something quick and to the point tomorrow and make sure his family can hear along the lines of
'If you don't stop with these texts then we'll have to find another means of communication for DS'

Then let them wonder what I'm on about!! They may ask him but he'd never in a million years tell them. To them and him actually he can do no wrong

I have a second phone affectionately nicknamed the shite phone that is specifically for my ex to contact me on. It’s only switched on the day of contact and I have it simply so he can’t contact me on my own number or stalk me on WhatsApp at all. Best way to do it imo.

Also your ex is pathetic and his gf a sadcase- but you knew that already.

Comment openly about the new GF and see what they / he say. Clearly he's besotted, she's obsessed, so have they set a date yet? Obviously they've met, right?

Send miss you too we still meeting up when (x name) has ds followed up with Omg not you 😂😂

lol what a wazock

Just forward them on to the new gf. She'll soon put a stop to it.

@abbsisspartacus 😂😂😂 @Liara don't have any way of contacting her - otherwise I would seriously consider it! She can't be happy that he's sending these kinds of messages to me even if they are 'by accident'

Can you get a cheap phone and give it to your mum or friend or sister so she can forward you anything important and ignore the rest?

Forward them to the gf

I had a phone about 15 or more years ago that would randomly decide to send a text to a number that I suspect may have been my ex's brother instead of the person that I'd selected. But it was distinctly unsexy messages as I was single at the time so it was fairly obvious they were ones that went astray. I'm sure my ex used it as proof that I was a nutter though.

I'd have thought though that it's pretty hard to consistently send texts to the wrong person. My mate does the odd time to me but that's because I've the same first name as her landlord. Not if it's a different name though.

The simple solution is a quick glance at them and if they’re clearly not about your son then delete straight away without properly reading them and say nothing whatsoever. Why are you even giving them any attention at all, let alone playing into his hands by responding?

As funny as ellens response is I wouldn't do it. That's just engaging with him which is what he wants, to manipulate you into playing his game by his rules. its hard I know but the advice to ignore, ignore, ignore is good. You will be able to tell from the first few worlds if the message is meant for you so if it isn't just delete it without reading and forget it.

I did this with an ex
In my defence, I was 16 years old (nearly 20 years ago!)

Best way to deal with it is to ignore. Trust me. I wanted a rewrite, ahyrraction. Deafening silence was so frustrating.

I wanted a reaction

I am tempted to agree with the people saying show the new girlfriend the texts. Tell her that he seems to be trying to make you jealous, and she should probably be concerned, as he CLEARLY still has a flame burning for you.

Tell him as pleasantly as possible that his accidental texts are irritating so you're blocking his number.

Just to clarify, had anyone met her? DS, exMIL etc?

As I've said would love to show her but I have no way of contacting her.

It doesn't bother me in the way that I am jealous and want him back cause I'm not and I don't. I just don't think it's fair to me that I have to see it all the time and clearly ignoring it isn't working either! I shouldn't have to see them that's my point.
I think I'm gonna go with the shirt and sweet verbal message to him tomorrow whether his family are here or not!

Block him. He can contact you on the landline or on email if he needs to get in touch. Let him know that you have blocked him and why so he can contact you if there is a genuine emergency.

@MiddleClassProblem I have absolutely no idea and no way of finding out if anyone has met her

Still think she’s a mannequin. Maybe with a wig like your hair! Sorry, that’s too creepy. But I’m not sure she exists at all.

You say you’ve received texts from her? Block her number at least, if you haven’t already.

Next time he does it, just make him feel like a dick. “Oh let me guess...you’re ‘half asleep’? You’re making a fool of yourself with these texts, but have at it.”

I guarantee he won’t text you ‘half asleep’ ever again.

Ignore it. Stop giving it headspace. He's doing it on purpose and asking him to stop means he "wins" - he's got the attention he wants.

IGNORE IT.

I wouldn’t ignore it, personally.

He’s getting a kick out of the sending, not just your reaction.

I take it that this utter fuckwit works in Hawaii, in the office that issues ballistic missile warnings?