Bridezilla

[HarrietKettleWasHere]

There's no male equivalent is there? It's just one of those phrases women get lumbered with.

I know this is not a huge thing but it's really annoyed me.

Planning my wedding. I said that I don't want favours. They're a waste of money. I'd far rather use the money for an extra bottle of wine per table or something. Do people really want five sugared almonds on a drawstring bag?

I also think spending £300 on a wedding cake is a bit stupid too (again saying let's have more wine instead )

Finance says it's nice, it's tradition, people expect it bla bla bla. I said I think it's pointless but then I'm aware it's not just my wedding.

He's had a right laugh sending me 'Bridezilla' memes or gifs or whatever they are all afternoon. I imagine there's been office 'banter' this afternoon about weddings making women 'physco' (I know his workmates!)

Now I know he's only having a laugh. But why do women have to get called Bridezillas and other various insults that don't have a equivalent?

Friend's fiancé has expressed a desire to have a baby. Suddenly she's 'baby crazy'. Another time when she wasn't happy he came home late and pissed she was 'hormonal'.

It makes me cross!

And favours are SO a waste of money

Anything women try to do makes men feel insecure so they take the piss
Mysogonist bastards, tell him to do it himself

Harriet I've had a wedding similar. The B&G insists on using the smaller room as they wanted an intimate wedding but had too many guests so the overflow watched it in the breakfast room.

Ilostit that's brilliant! Fortunately (or unfortunately I suppose) no one has ever won at one of my weddings lol. I usually get to keep the unused favours too so have had a go on quite a few scratch cards and nadda!

Ok so a cheese wedding cake I could maybe get behind

Very interesting LadyBunny. I bet you see all sorts in your line of work!

We were one of the last of our friends to get married so had been to a lot of weddings by the time we got to our own. So we went down the "If we can't remember it at other weddings, it's not important" route. And asked that question about everything.

We spent most of our money on the band (good music was a must!), ensuring everyone was well fed and plenty of drink.

My mum made our wedding cake which kept her from sticking her par in her occupied. It was a three tier job but we used the cake columns from my mum and dads wedding cake which made it more special.
She forgot that I hate fruit cake and made all the tiers fruit so I bought a couple of long cutting bars from m&s for the venue to cut up and hand out if people (me) wanted sponge.

We had no favours at all as in our experience most people get pissed and leave them behind.
Not one guest I've asked since have any idea whether we have favours or not.
YANBU

Wedding favours - five sugared almonds in particular - do have a tradition behind them, but they are very old fashioned now and the last few weddings we've been to there have been no favours at all

I do love the thought of the wedding guests sitting down and saying in shock, "Where are my sugared almonds? That's why I came..!"

I shocked that so many people dislike sugared almonds. I bloody love them and would choose them over extra wine any day.

He is clearly a groomzilla!

Don't get bogged down in the small stuff. It really doesn't matter and no-one will notice if your napkins don't match the chair sash, or even if you don't have chair sashes. Add to that - no-one will notice if the flowers in the room match/complement your bouquet/men's buttonholes/bridesmaid's flowers. And 20 years down the line you won't be looking at wedding photos anywhere near as much as you think your will. (I can't off-hand remember where mine are. But I can still clearly remember the day, the happiness, the lovely guests mingling and enjoying themselves)

We wanted a giant pork pie cake for our wedding but I forgot to order it

How do people feel about 'getting ready photos'? That's a new thing right?

We have booked a great photographer but I'm adamant I am not paying £200 extra for an Instagram shot of my dress hanging in a rustic doorway.

can someone link to bridechilla?

OP as others have said, all your guests will want to do is celebrate your wedding. Feed and water them well, entertain them (a live band is great but so is a proper dance floor or dry field with Ipod and good speakers rotating round what music you and they have chosen) and make sure the speeches are very short and sweet. Don't spend ages with the photographer - if s/he is a good one s/he will catch everyone on the fly - just get them to do the few you really want.

As PPs have said, you remember the wedding and the more relaxed the bride and groom the better. Just make sure people know where to stay and how to get home.

I had favours, but they were 5 pieces of either cake or chocolate in a box. Saved on me having to get a wedding cake as well, although we then had to have something to cut with our commemorative knife, that came as part of the reception package, so we got a cheesecake and cut that.

I would n’t call you a bridzilla, but it’s his wedding too, and if he wants a cake and favours why can’t he have them

Agree with northern if he wants cake and favours then that’s what he wants! The wedding is for both of you!

Favours are getting a bashing but they do have a place and that is when the photos have taken 3 hours, the food is nowhere to be seen, you had no lunch because of the time if the wedding, no breakfast as you were getting ready and driving to the wedding and you are just HUNGRY - so chocolates are good, sugared almonds not (a sandwich would be better!)

A wedding cake is also good - I had chocolate with chocolate ganache filling covered in white chocolate, admittedly not that enjoyable on the wedding day, but bloody fabulous after I defrosted it a couple of months later for a birthday party!! But was expensive, so I’d recommend the M&S cake, add a few wedding flowers on top and looks fab.
You both need to set the budget for the things you want and let each other sort those bits out. Then you’ll see how important they really are. My money is on the wine

Do what you want to do. And I believe the term is "Groomknobber"

Getting ready photos are naff as.
Especially the black and white shot of bride putting earrings on/mascara on in a mirror.

I didn't have getting ready shots.
I didn't have a hen do either.

You're definitely not a bridezilla op but your fiancé is being a bit of a dick.

Ha! I'd turn this straight back around on him.

'Bridezilla? I'm the one who wants to spend the cash on booze for the party, you're the one stamping your feet because you'd rather have sugared almonds in little bags... If this needs clearing up with your workmates, I can always post the above sentence on Facebook 😄 you know Groomzilla is a thing too, right?'

I really like the getting ready photos once they're done well. I like the documentary style photography that tells the story of the whole day, and getting ready would be a part of that.

I thought it was widely understood that favours are pointless, unloved and expensive and the first thing to be dumped out of any wedding

Well that would depend on what they are wouldnt it! I had sugared almonds but then again I was married in 1999! I make cakes a s a hobby and the last few wedding cakes Ive set up for friends the favours have either been mini bottles of alcohol or tablet (Im in Scotland) - wouldnt be dumping them!

I'm liking the Freudian slip of referring to your fiancé as 'finance'.

I like the getting ready photos I have of me and my bridesmaids and my mom and daughters all getting ready and my dad as he walked in the honeymoon suite and seen me all ready.

My regrets are the cake, favours, spending so much on the flowers. So you are spot on I remember favours at one friends wedding was their aunts homemade lemoncillo that went down a storm, also had a cake pop and lottery ticket and can't remember anything else. I wish I'd just got an m and S cake now and saved myself cash.

We did buy a really good drinks package and I also had drinks on arrival for evening guests(workmates and parents friends really) and there was loads leftover on trays behind the bar that people just asked for as well. We had a great band that had the dance floor filled all night. The best men speeches were shite. Neither of them are into public speaking so I should of just told them not to bother!

We also had a magician go round when we were getting photos done whilst the guests had drink and canapes and everyone kept saying how good he was. I never seen him though!

Yes, I'm wondering about that bit after the ceremony but before everyone goes into dinner (ceremony is at 4:00 and dinner at 6) we'll inevitably have to go off for pictures although I'm hoping it won't take ages. There'll be drinks and canapés. Might we need some form of entertainment? A magician might work if they're good and not cringey.