Bridezilla

[HarrietKettleWasHere]

There's no male equivalent is there? It's just one of those phrases women get lumbered with.

I know this is not a huge thing but it's really annoyed me.

Planning my wedding. I said that I don't want favours. They're a waste of money. I'd far rather use the money for an extra bottle of wine per table or something. Do people really want five sugared almonds on a drawstring bag?

I also think spending £300 on a wedding cake is a bit stupid too (again saying let's have more wine instead )

Finance says it's nice, it's tradition, people expect it bla bla bla. I said I think it's pointless but then I'm aware it's not just my wedding.

He's had a right laugh sending me 'Bridezilla' memes or gifs or whatever they are all afternoon. I imagine there's been office 'banter' this afternoon about weddings making women 'physco' (I know his workmates!)

Now I know he's only having a laugh. But why do women have to get called Bridezillas and other various insults that don't have a equivalent?

Friend's fiancé has expressed a desire to have a baby. Suddenly she's 'baby crazy'. Another time when she wasn't happy he came home late and pissed she was 'hormonal'.

It makes me cross!

And favours are SO a waste of money

I didn't have favours at my wedding. In fact I didn't even realise it was a thing till years later.

I fricking hate nuts anyway, so would hate to be given sugared almonds. What a waste of money.

We only had a small cake too, no tiers. Although my mum organised it and insisted on fruit cake. I also hate fruit cake, so only got to eat the tiniest piece of my own wedding cake. I should have been more bridezilla about that!

Hi OP, listen to the Bridechilla podcast, there you will find your people (the tagline is 'fuck chair covers)

It makes me cross as well but I guess I'm just 'tired and emotional'

Yes to groomzilla.

But to be honest, the "zilla" appellation will apply most to the one who throws the biggest tanty about stuff.
So if he mildly suggests that he wants 3 tiered cake, favours and chair covers, and you have a total screaming fit over it, then that does indeed make you the bridezilla.
But if you say mildly that you think they're a waste of money and HE thrown the screaming fit about how it's traditional and everyone expects it and of COURSE you have to spend X amount on a wedding despite the nonsense of it all, then he wins the Zilla crown.

Groomzilla!

I thought it was widely understood that favours are pointless, unloved and expensive and the first thing to be dumped out of any wedding.

Yes, it's his wedding too, but he's marrying you and presumably the fact you wouldn't go for a traditional wedding was been obvious for a while? If he wants something straight out of a bridal magazine he can 1) organize it himself 2) pay for it himself and 3) find the bride who would like it In the meantime, he's supposed to be in love with you!

In the spirit of compromise, say no to the sugared almonds but yes to the wedding cake, and order this reasonable one from M&S

Cakes - hire a fancy cake stand that swirls, get three plain iced large cakes and stick a load of fresh flowers on top and if you want some ribbon round it. Done

Or you can get someone to ice a few fake cakes for show - they can use them afterwards for their shop or something and just have one layer real so you can give the oldies something to take home.

www.pinterest.co.uk/search/pins/?rs=ac&len=2&q=simple%20wedding%20cakes&eq=simple%20wedding%20cakes&etslf=NaN&term_meta[]=simple%7Cautocomplete%7Cundefined&term_meta[]=wedding%7Cautocomplete%7Cundefined&term_meta[]=cakes%7Cautocomplete%7Cundefined

Some very simple cakes made stunning with judicious use of pretty flowers (real or silk so you can keep) and sometimes a bit of ribbon.

It is tradition as is the photo, and the party is for everyone to celebrate as well as you...

We reduced our numbers provided ALL wine and food at a Michelin star place and brought a viennese chocolate torte as the cake (3 of them) Which my sister made and was mad eup when the chef made a point of trying it and approving it!!

We had favours at our wedding last year........but we gave spirits miniatures (Smirnoff, Bombay Sapphire or Jack Daniels, guests free to swap amongst themselves if they didn't like what they'd been given). Two days before the wedding, nothing would have pissed me off more than shoving five sugared almonds into a mesh bag ninety-odd times. Soul-destroyingly pointless.

We splurged on the drinks on arrival, food and wine and champagne for toasts (which is probably why the venue agreed to letting us have miniatures as favours!). Had an M&S cake though, which was absolutely lovely.

Don't get bogged down in the small stuff. It really doesn't matter and no-one will notice if your napkins don't match the chair sash, or even if you don't have chair sashes. No-one gives a stuff as long as you throw enough food and drink down their necks

Or could you get together with the venue and create something with the cakes for pudding (or some of them) that is a centre piece and you can be seen "cutting and eating" before they are sent out to the tables - you could just get a smaller m&S plain white celebration cake that is for cutting etc

Well, if he is your Finance, then I think he gets more than a little bit of a say in what you do

Ok am getting on that Bridechilla podcast pronto

I like that cake. That's reasonable I think. (Does everyone still expect a slice of wedding cake? I can't remember the last time I went away with a slice)

We're not having cars! I didn't think of that. id only be In it for five minutes

That's meant to be not

LTB.

Undermining memes all afternoon - how romantic.

Haha at 'Finance'

If he was moneyed I'd suggest eloping to Maui

I'm a wedding manager and tbh I totally agree with you.
Have seen an increase in 'instead of a favour we have donated to charity' favours as of late which I think is really nice. Or £1 scratch cards with a 'lucky penny' to scratch with. I think that's a really good idea!!

Ps, I see way more groomzillas and MOB/MILzillas than I do bridezillas

I have never met anyone, apart from the bride and groom's mothers, who have been the slightest bit interested in the favours. They normally seem to get left behind, and I saw loads being put into bin bags of rubbish when the hotel staff were cleaning up after the last one I went to. That said, plenty on MN say that their favours were well received.

Sugared almonds give me the rage! Almost, but not quite, as much as Save The Date cards.

Been engaged less than two weeks and DP has already revealed himself to have a far bigger traditional head on him than I would have thought. He has asked for one thing though, which I completely agree with. No fake cake cutting just for the photographs. We either cut the cake or don't. We're not going to pretend to.

For favours, I'd like to make a donation to an autism charity instead.

It is quite (or can be!) quite a crazy world this wedding lark.

Not the venue we ended up going with, but one I really liked, said they could have 100 people for the ceremony. (We want everyone for the whole day so are having 70-80ish) When we went there the room was small so I double checked with the lady showing us round.

'Oh yes', she said. 'We seat 50 people up here, and then in the library room downstairs, we can seat another 50 and they watch it via video link!'

I burst out laughing but she maintained that was quite popular as people 'just fell in love with the venue and nothing else would do'.

It's Groomzilla, my DSis married one. A nice one but a groomzilla. Stuff the favours and bows on chairs - your guests want 1) to know you well enough to care you're getting married 2) enough to eat 3) enough to drink 4) not to be left to their own devices for hours while you take photos/have special meal with special guests/do family stuff 5) have enough to eat and drink. end of!

The videolink is crazy! Not sure I'd be super impressed at being invited to the ceremony but stuck in the videolink room!

You def don't sound like a bridezilla to me

I love multi-tiered rich fruit wedding cakes with fancy icing and sugar roses cascading all over them. Lets face, it's not the sort of thing you'll ever get apart from at a wedding.

And I like having things I can take away and keep to remind me that life isn't all funerals (which get depressingly more frequent as you get older). I'm not one for photos, so opening a dressing table drawer and finding a little silver slipper (or a gauze bag from the sugared almonds) tucked away adds a little bit of brightness to the day. (That sounds so depressing! - but it's all the little bits of brightness that add up to make a happy day).

I agree op.

When we got married i told husband straight,my priority is the honeymoon. I want a great honeymoon and sod the cost so I did away with "traditional".
No bridesmaid, no giving away, no fancy arse cake(we got a cracker of one from m&s £60 & decorated it)
I splurged on a nice car, photographer, and food.
And I got the honeymoon I really wanted.

But you're really quire the opposite of a bridezilla

We got lots of mini love heart sweets and put them in the table. I don't think people will note car if you don't get them.

We didn't have a toast at our wedding or a drink on arrival... people got there selves a drink at the bar. We didn't want to pay £1200 for two drinks each... we did have a wedding cake though.

Some people opt for a cheese wedding cakes now. It only needs to be as expensive as you want it to be. Here a link for some cheese.

www.google.co.uk/search?q=cheese+wedding+cake&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&hl=en-gb&client=safari

LadyBunny I read a story about a couple that put scratch cards on each table as wedding favours.
One of them revealed a win (several thousand) and a huge fight kicked off between guests over whose card it was. It culminated in one drunken guest ripping up the winning ticket and swallowing it in rage.

Nothing like planning a wedding to find out if you really get on with your fiancée.