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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

H&M mother has said for people to 'get over it'

450 replies

WomanEmpire · 11/01/2018 14:28

Apparently she has said on Facebook it's people 'crying wolf' and to 'get over it'

Wdyt?

I personally think H&M are counting their lucky stars and have sort of preyed on her, (this is very presumptuous, so I am prepared to be shot down) knowing that perhaps as someone who is native Nigerian and moved to Sweden (I think relatively recently, but again pull me up on this if I'm incorrect) might not be quite as aware of the racism that incurs in the US/UK, as those who live in these countries and wouldn't think to second guess in a shoot, because you'd trust such a popular retailer to not have racist slurs put on a jumper and modelled by a child, who could quite possibly still be called this by those idiots. Because I still can't believe that NO ONE along the process picked up on this.

I'm not saying racism doesn't occur in other countries but I have experience of those two countries.

OP posts:
Ghanagirl · 12/01/2018 23:16

PonderWoman
I’d decided not to comment further but just read the link you posted, very upsetting and depressing as my son is a really talented football player.
I really hope all posters will read this link and imagine how they would feel if they’re precious children were subjected to this abuse from grown men.
I’m in tears after reading this but I know it’s of no consequence to a very vocal group of Mumsnet posters.
I’ve just nipped downstairs to look at my beautiful boy, he’s 10 with long eyelashes and perfect skin, kind, thoughtful, cares for his sister...

Ghanagirl · 12/01/2018 23:19

Zarathrustra please read post from ponderwomen and my follow up

PonderWoman · 13/01/2018 10:56

Ghanagirl Flowers

The things that worry us probably don't even occur to those posters. It doesn't affect them so they just do not care. What that child went through on a daily basis is heart breaking. What really stands out is that when he got a boiling cup of coffee thrown at his face, he knew that he would be the one to get into trouble if he retaliated, despite being the victim - because of the way he looks.

We have to have the courage to expose racism, no matter how much it is minimised or how much we are ridiculed when trying to assert our status as humans.

Notreallyarsed · 13/01/2018 10:58

We have to have the courage to expose racism, no matter how much it is minimised or how much we are ridiculed when trying to assert our status as humans

I’m white, so I’m not sure if I have any right to comment, but I will always support people fighting against racism and prejudice. Loudly and firmly.

ToffeeUp · 13/01/2018 11:26

Me too Notreally
And more so then ever when you have the US president coming out
with 'shitholes' comments

This thread and the other have really shocked me, I really hadn't expected there would be this much minimising and desregard of peoples real life experiences and feelings. The many poster that just came on to state that they agree with the mother, I mean just why? No interest in discussion or in listening or even give a reasoning behind their thoughts. It showed a very ugly side of MN.

Maybe MN could refer to the Kick it Out campaign www.kickitout.org/ on threads like this.

McTufty · 13/01/2018 11:35

@ghanagirl Flowers for you and your gorgeous boy

PonderWoman · 13/01/2018 11:56

Thank you NotReally and ToffeeUp. Of course you have the right to comment. Your support is much appreciated.

I don't know how much of MN is non-white but it is important that MN gets behind the campaign that you mentioned Toffee. It might increase awareness for those who actually care.

bummymummy77 · 13/01/2018 12:20

I'm so so shocked by the casual racism on Mumsnet. More than ever from this thread to be honest.

And I can't believe Mumsnet deleted my comment. That has really, really pissed me off.

Notreallyarsed · 13/01/2018 12:26

My friend’s mum had to close the blinds when they were small on football days (they lived beside a stadium with famously racist hooligans in London) because grown ass men would frighten and abuse two little black girls because they were black. I was torn between wanting to cry for those wee girls who had no idea why these bastards hated them so much, and feeling utter rage at the disgusting men who would do such an awful thing. Speaking to my friends who have experienced such pernicious and widespread hatred really does bring it home how awful it is.

To see white people dismiss it is worse, to deny that it’s happening, to deny that it’s a problem in society and even worse, to tell someone who is explaining the racism that they’ve faced isn’t real is appalling, truly appalling. White privilege is real, if anyone reading doesn’t know what it is, google it. Even if you don’t know you have it, trust me, you do.

Notreallyarsed · 13/01/2018 12:27

That it isn’t real that should have read. Sorry, my hands are shaking.

BIWI · 13/01/2018 12:32

I'm white. I stand by and with you, saying that this is racist. I find it appalling that others can’t see it and, worse, that they will argue it’s not, despite being told by POC that they find it offensive.

And I have particular distaste for posters like Zarathustra who are nasty goady fuckers, as well as enjoying making insidious racist posts.

BIWI · 13/01/2018 12:34

Sorry, Zarathrustra. As there is a poster called Zarathustra who is probably a whole lot more pleasant.

DreamyMcDreamy · 13/01/2018 12:51

To see white people dismiss it is worse, to deny that it’s happening, to deny that it’s a problem in society and even worse, to tell someone who is explaining the racism that they’ve faced isn’t real is appalling, truly appalling. White privilege is real, if anyone reading doesn’t know what it is, google it. Even if you don’t know you have it, trust me, you do.

I stand by you and see that it's racist, and have been pretty disgusted myself by the wilful ignorance, dismissal of feelings and denial shown by some on here.
I'll admit I'd never really heard of the phrase white privilege before all this blew up, but know more about it now.
Yep, I do have it, I can see it. I mean, how can anyone say "it's not relevant nowadays", "doesn't mean anything" "I don't see anyone being called it"...
Well, it's not rocket science to say of course you wouldn't would you - as you're white! Nobody's going to be shouting racial abuse at you just for the colour of your skin. Hmm
FFS.

Littlewhistle · 13/01/2018 13:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DreamyMcDreamy · 13/01/2018 13:02

Littlewhistle - eh?

Notreallyarsed · 13/01/2018 13:04

I don't know how I managed to grow up in the 70s without all this stuff

Ah yes the good old days when things were just peachy for POC. This outrage at racism didn’t exist in the 70s because it was mainstream, jokes about POC were everywhere, the aforementioned signs on houses, little or no rights for POC, I could go on.

Nobody should want to go back to that. Jesus the 70s was only just past segregation in the US! So not exactly halcyon days.

DreamyMcDreamy · 13/01/2018 13:05

I honestly can't cope with what we are allowed to say any more that may cause offence to someone, or be found offensive on other people's behalf..

It's called being a decent human being, and seeing beyond colour, and that we're all the same inside.

DreamyMcDreamy · 13/01/2018 13:07

This outrage at racism didn’t exist in the 70s because it was mainstream, jokes about POC were everywhere, the aforementioned signs on houses, little or no rights for POC, I could go on

Exactly! I get nostalgia for the olden days, but the acceptance and mainstream racism? Nope, not so much.

Littlewhistle · 13/01/2018 13:07

Thank you Dreamy I am a decent human being.

DreamyMcDreamy · 13/01/2018 13:09

Thank you Dreamy I am a decent human being

Good, glad to hear it Smile

PonderWoman · 13/01/2018 13:16

Littkewhistle,

*I honestly can't cope with what we are allowed to say any more that may cause offence to someone, or be found offensive on other people's behalf.

Everything seems to come with a "trigger" warning - whatever that is.

I don't know how I managed to grow up in the 70s without all this stuff confused*

Please clarify this. What do you mean?

LemonShark · 13/01/2018 13:19

Littlewhistle Really? That's odd. Me and everyone I can call a friend/colleague/relative somehow manages just fine getting through life without making a racist, homophobic, sexist, xenophobic comment. It's hardly a minefield. That is assuming you're not racist/bigoted? If you are then yes, I imagine it's difficult no longer having free reign to say whatever you like regardless of the impact on someone else's dignity.

bummymummy77 · 13/01/2018 13:22

A couple of posts on from someone complaining about people being unaware of their white privilege.... along comes....

JAPAB · 13/01/2018 13:26

Tsundoku, I understand your pragmatic point. Don't put that slogan on a black child and no possible problem (probably).

I am not sure that the options are that they either do not use it or they deliberately chose to be racist, or they at least intended to be provocative.

For all we know they all might have tried it on, but for whatever reason the photo with that child just came out best. And it is not impossible for a company to either not think of, or misjudge the reaction that the public or section of the public might have.

All speculations aside, what happened, happened, and if someone says that they ought not have done it, they were wrong to do this, then they are asking people to modify their behaviour. The people involved should have made a different choice. Nothing wrong with that per se. I'd be quite happy to tell a company not to do something when what they want to do will both offend people and there is a reasonable basis for that offence.

I wouldn't personally tell a company not to, say, include a gay married couple in their ads even though this is likely to be objectionable to some members of the public. And that is because I do not personally think that their offence has a reasonable basis to it.

So I guess what I am truing to say is, and this is just my opinion, but if the offence some people might take is "reasonable" then you are probably wrong for putting out that ad or material. If it is not "reasonable" then you can still argue that it might be best not to do it for pragmatic reasons. But I don't think there is the same level of moral imperitave for not doing it.

Of course what is "reasonable"? Use of a word that was created as a pejorative? Yes IMO. But here, a black child wearing a generic 'coolest monkey' slogan? Since the only reason I can see for this offence is that it reminds some people of racism, not sure personally. Just my opinion though, as I say.

ToffeeUp · 13/01/2018 13:33

JAPAB 'Since the only reason I can see for this offence is that it reminds some people of racism'

Change that to 'It reminds people of the racism they have been/are subjected to'

You still think their upset is unreasonable?

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