To prefer to live without a man

[GlitterUnicornsAndAllThatJazz]

If my relationship ended, in my next relationship, I don't think i want to live with a man again. Clearly it means you can afford a better/bigger place but my ideal would be to live a few streets away from one another, but not the same house.
Reasons:

Different style/taste - I dont want to compromise

More laundry

Having someone in your personal space

Never just being alone with time to lounge by yourself

Having to have his friends/family over every now and then

Obviously those are all totally normal everyday things you have to negotiate, but maybe that's just who I am - a selfish control freak?

How did you feel when you moved in with your partner?

YANBU, it's how you feel.

We moved in together gradually, I had my own place, he stayed more and more, we got a joint place, then bought somewhere together.

Few things make me happier than living together. DH is the best company, life is considerably easier living with him than living on my own. He cooks well, cleans and tidies so fast I feel very slow in comparison, he's amazing at DIY, he sews, does the garden. We have a similar sense of humour, like the same TV and films.

I like time to myself as well but always look forward to being back home together again. I like his friends. We don't see his family.

I'm sure you're not a selfish control freak! Some people feel differently about sharing space. Works for me.

My DM is incredibly happy living alone and would like a relationship but would never cohabit. She likes her space and her routines, she's selfish in a good way and knows what works for her.

I am getting divorced so don't have a partner living with me. Its bloody bliss I tell you. Do what I want, when I want, how I want.

At this point in time, I cannot see this changing.

OP I have what you wish and it is bliss.

However I do think that with the right person like Anne describes it could be nice living together.
It so did not work with my H, it was such an effort and little companionship. Much better alone.

I will be more thsn happy to stay as I am for the rest of my life but equally it would be nice to find someone to share things with.

I agree. Ive just moved out with my 4 kids and even though its hard work. I prefer it any day over living with a man

Totally agree, if I end up in a relationship again I do NOT want to share a house with them, additional reasons to yours:

Not having to pick dirty pants up from the floor

Not having to watch or listen to bloody football/rugby commentators every weekend

Not having to watch what they want to on the TV

No snoring

Not sharing the duvet

Going to bed when I want to and not getting woken up by them getting in after an Xbox session

Not having to shave my legs all winter

Totally agree, but moving in with DP didn't increase my laundry. We have maintained separate laundry baskets for 17 years.

It's definitely not selfish preferring to live alone. It's being aware of your own needs. No one else is hurt by it (unless you are in a situation where DP wants to cohabit and this causes conflict).

Some couples thrive when living together, some don't. This is very individual.

I love living alone but, when I was married, I also loved sharing a place with OH. I thrive in my own space though.

You know what you want so good for you. I am the opposite, I hate living alone. To each their own I say.

I'm still in the relatively early stages post-divorce and despite having a far too big house to myself in the week and sharing with only one of the three children at the weekend (other two at uni) I have no intention of living with another man again.

I've been seeing a lovely man for nearly a year and stay at his a couple of nights a week and he stays at mine a couple of nights but boy do I love those nights when it's just me in the house for the evening and going to bed on my own!!

It really depends a lot on how the other person lives.

I hate sport and couldn't live with someone who wanted it on the TV any, never mind all, of the time.

It's the old "what you like" rather than "what you're like" that has such an impact when you share a living space.

My ex used to cook liver every now and then and I absolutely hated it and him at times. He used to work from home and left his crap all over every single bloody surface every day. He watched the worst films in the world and would dominate the TV. I equally must have driven him mad by owning too many books, baking a lot and leaving kitchen mess for too long, never ironing anything.

You wouldn't catch me dead picking someone's dirty pants off the floor. I'm a wife and cohabiter, not a fucking skivvy

Thankfully DH puts all his stuff straight in the laundry bin.

That's interesting Morris. Laundry is one of my least loathed jobs, no stress.

I also always do the bins.

Hoovering on the hand? Sod that. Having someone else do it would make up for a lot.

And I pay someone to clean the windows!

After breaking up with my ex, living alone with my two babies was HEAVENLY. It was more peaceful, easier to clean, the boys helped as much as they could for little people. It gives me butterflies thinking about it. Fast forward years to my OH moving in ... I definitely had a period of adjustment. But he’s wonderful and helps so much, he tries to do everything in fact! I feel like a spare part when he’s home (only at the weekend) because of how EASY he is to live with! But even when I do things like try to take the bins out of whatever, he will come rushing over and “I’ll do that it’s okay”. He just bought me a dishwasher so I don’t have to do dishes! Lol.

He says because I work all week (but it’s from Home) and look after the boys, he stays in an apartment or hotel all week and works normal hours so he tries to pitch in when Home... and ends up going above and beyond.

Anyway, the point is, I think it just depends on the man. So many of male adults have been raised in a world where women ‘do that sort of stuff’ and so haven’t learned. I’m hoping I can raise my sons to think the same way as OH... just perhaps a little less so, because I currently do absolutely bugger all when he’s home!

Was married /cohab for 17 years and been divorced 7 years

It's is BLISS having your own place

I have bf of 5 years but we both have own places.

Can't think I'd like any other way

Dog and dcs are suffice

For me it's the cooking. Always used to feel like had to do a proper meal every night.
Now mostly have buffet style whenever I feel like it.

But then you sleep better, don't have as much housework, can REALLY slob out and just generally do things when you want to rather than when you feel like you should bevsgse you have to consider other people's opinions and feelings

Sounds selfish? Guess it is
But I did a life sentence, feel I'm owed it

YANBU

I prefer living by myself and don't plan to live with a man ever again.

However, I'm going to stay open to the possibility that I might findone of these men that AnneLovesGilbert and BigBaboonBum have described just so that I can change my mind.

You wouldn't catch me dead picking someone's dirty pants off the floor. I'm a wife and cohabiter, not a fucking skivvy angry

Neither am I, AnneLovesGilbert - it's one of the (many) reasons he's now an ex...

I LOVE living alone!! Love it love it, and that's even when I wasn't a skivvy in previous relationships. I love having the bed to myself, watching what I like on TV, eating what and when I feel like.

Unfortunately, I can't afford it. Covering all the bills single handed is killing me and I'm having to think about moving in with my OH, just so I can afford to live. Not really looking foward to it, tbh, but living alone is a luxury...

Beats being lonely

why is it selfish to want a domestic arrangement which you enjoy?
Accusations of selfishness are used to shame women into devoting their lives to the comfort and convenience of men.

A domestic partnership needs to be mutually beneficial, if it isnt then it's logical to find a set up which is beneficial for you.
I also love living alone:o
suspect that for many women the only benefit to living together is that it costs less.

I divorced a decade ago.
No intention of living with another man again.
Love getting up and saying at the weekend shall we go here today and no grumpy bugger wanting to stay in on the computer and moaning if I go out without them.

Having your own place/space is awesome. I think a very large house or apartment with some shared spaces plus individual bed/lounge/bathroom/study for each partner could be the ideal solution (and possibly be cheaper than two separate households)!

I’ve been married for a very long time and have no plans to be single anytime soon, but, if that changes I will never remarry or live with another man again. I think I would really enjoy making my home completely mine, dh is a hoarder of useless stuff. Plus, knowing that whatever I put in the fridge is still there when I want it would be great.

Yanbu. Totally up to you.

I loved living with my bf, (now my dh), but we moved in together immediately after university, so I didn’t have my own place. I mightn’t have been so keen to give it up if I had my own place l, nicely set up for one!

I sometimes fantasise about winning the lotto just so we could afford 2 seperate households. I would love not to live with a man.
If ever I become single, I can't see myself ever living with one again.
Life would be so simple! Clean, tidy house, no one else's stuff everywhere, freedom to do/watch/eat as I please when I please without having to compromise or consider someone else.

I will never like with a man, or any other adult actually.
My house is mine, I make the rules, I do what I want when I want.

This fascinates me, I've never lived alone and I really don't think id like it, mind you my husband and don't really have most of the issues that some of you have pointed out, we like the same TV shows, he puts his dirty pants and socks in the laundry basket as do I, no one hogs the duvet.

I do get rather lonely without anyone around I guess i just prefer company to quiet.