To say I dont want GP contributing to dc Junior ISA anymore or am I Bu?

[NeversayNever2]

Since both dc born DH and I living on a shoe string, so no extra money to put into dc savings for the majority of their lives.
Dh and I put in the odd £50 and then GP put a few hundred in, but it was a stocks and shares one - so that was pretty much wiped out although it did rally a little.

DH were recently in a position to start contributing on a more regular if very small basis of £10 a month! Better than nothing! The way I see it is - the DC just have to make do with what they have, I never had a pot of thousands to draw on when I hit 18...its a bonus if they have anything and the basic use of the money in my mind for them was to either get driving lessons 1, or 2 travel and enjoy themselves a bit...

DH parents have suddenly in past two years decided to contribute to their isas...., the full amount too - wonderful. Im not 100% sure where exactly this is coming from, ie their own pocket, both lost parents recently...does that matter? Probably not, however I find DH parents extremely controlling when it comes to money. Extremely controlling people anyway. Since his dp kind contribution they are delving into how much is in there, saying it should be higher, asking which funds its invested in ( its not its in cash).

I dont know how much more they would put in to be honest but this is going to be handed to the the dc at 18. i would rather they started up their own savings for the GC IF they want that money spent on something in particular.

In my mind this was just a little extra for them. I feel all the dc in DH family have missed out on life experiences because they are encouraged to settle down with houses quickly etc. No one says - go travelling - go and live and see the world, have adventures. I feel a bit stupid writing this but its unlikely dh and I will be high earners so wont this also affect any benefits the dc may need for uni?

Am I being stupid and perhaps its non of my business. Let the GP contribute and take it over...and do another small savings for the dc? It just feels like another area where they are trying to get their hooks in, WWYD? By the way we have a very very up and down relationship with them due to no respecting boundaries and trying to control things. They have been very generous but I would rather go without than have them involved.

we cant set up isa for DC they can only have one.

We have our own isas allowance.

I thought you meant the doctor!

Why can people not just say grandparent?

thyme I believe the DC must make their own choices and mistakes when older.

Your not postponing life to go and travel for a few months. I dont like this control element.

If they naturally turn out to be mizers, so be it - but I don't want them to brain washed into it.

If they want to put money aside for their GC with specific conditions, that's their prerogative. If they insist it's used towards education or property, fair enough - I think you have to try pretty hard to see being encouraged to buy property a negative thing (especially given it's usually cheaper to have a mortgage than pay rent, so buying a property young is hardly a hindrance and actually a massive bonus). My mum passed away and left her house to myself and my siblings with the stipulation that it must be used on a property - I will be eternally grateful to her for enabling us to buy a home. My grandfather left us a small amount of money which went towards my university expenses - again, eternally grateful. My boys don't have anyone to save for them besides us when we can manage it.

I'd tell them that you're keeping it in a cash ISA as you don't want to gamble the little you can save but they're welcome to set up their own account if they want it in an investment

I would let the grandparents save for your children, it sounds like it is one of the few ways they are happy to open their wallets, so might as well benefit your kids in the long term.

I do think it is madness to have their ISAs in cash though. Just because it took a bit of a hit at one point, doesn't mean you should panic and go for cash. Savings in cash lose value each year, as inflation is higher than interest rates. Over time, the stock market goes up year on year and is the best (and safest) way to save for the long term

It sounds like PIL will try to control your children and their attitude to money anyhow, you and they need a technique to stave them off, e.g.agreeing with them and doing your own thing anyhow, a set statement "We will have to agree to differ on that", etc.

Why not suggest that they contribute into a SIPP (pension) for each child instead? Even more tax efficient as the government also contribute 20% - the annual limit is not that much less than the JISA at £3,600. The children won't get access until 58 (at the moment) and hopefully by then they will be sensible enough to spend it .

you're allowing your negative feelings about your inlaws to override your common sense

Or using her common sense (depending on the grandparents).

I don't know OP's in-laws, but this is how it would go with my parents: they would insist the money was used for particular purposes (yes, in theory it belongs to the child at 18, but in practice if you have to suffer continual rants about how they gave you the money and at least you could use it for something worthwhile, then they have lots of emotional control). Then they would get particular - the money was agreed to be for university, but they would expect to have a veto on subject or institution (continual rant about how we didn't give you this money to go to Lesserville Uni to study media until child backs down). And then of course if the child didn't perform to "their" standards, then there would be lots of sighing and comments about how they'd wasted their money, and laying on a guilt trip.

I stopped taking money from my parents at 19, because I was sick of the strings that came attached with it (and even then I was subject to rants about my ingratitude about things they'd done when I was a child).

If OP's in-laws are anything remotely like this, she needs to make her savings and their savings totally separate. Then it's up to her DC if they want to take the money and the strings, or decline politely.

They make us feel bad about money all the time, in fact the only time when I feel truly poor is when around them, its not their house- plenty of my family and indeed friends live in really nice houses. Its the way they talk about money and the looks MIL gives when we mention small things! They make me feel poor I don't even want to mention how much we save for the DC. I dont like talking any finances with them at all.

I agree Wild Roses it needs to go back into stocks, Im happy to do that, dh is too.

Having house of course is not a bad thing but it does become rather a noose if your so scared of spending money you dont go out - you dont meet anyone, no partners, few friends, certainly no night life and like a monk

Also all the ISA in cash is a really bad idea - mine made 28% last year invested across a range of funds, rather than individual stocks and shares. Funds diversify the risk.

Why would anyone want to refuse savings for their children. But do it in separate accounts from yours.

Let them contribute into the ISAs and you can use a HISA type account. No interest is payable on cash savings account any more (up to I think 1k of interest) and so you can get some great rates. There are are a few 3 per centers.

red

Mil has already said my degree is useless and has already moaned ( not ranted they never rant just endless drip of negativity) about how DH was never grateful for the money spent on his education!

And then of course if the child didn't perform to "their" standards, then there would be lots of sighing and comments about how they'd wasted their money, and laying on a guilt trip

DD is doing exceedingly well at school ( just 11) and FIL has already said have we had her tested on IQ tests

Red you hit many nails on the head there its the deeper side to it isn't it.

That feeling you have disappointed people. They are already massively disappointed in DH and in me....I dont want the GC to feel that burden as well.

Also all the ISA in cash is a really bad idea - mine made 28% last year invested across a range of funds, rather than individual stocks and shares. Funds diversify the risk

Wow do you mind saying which one? Can you diversify with dc isa stocks and shares one? We are happy to move it just had not got round to it. Will do it soon though.

Mainly tech, Chinese, Japanese and small co stocks this year. Gold, biotech and small cos did well the previous year. The main thing you need to ensure is that you keep an eye on them so that you can take action if one turns into a dog. You also have to be ready to accept that they will not always be moving upwards - Asia took a bit of a hit a few weeks ago but is now storming ahead again for example. You are investing for the long-term, particularly when the investments are for children.

HL and trustnet provide a lot of information for free on funds and how they are performing.

JISAs can be invested in the same funds as adults ISAs.

They are already massively disappointed in DH and in me....I dont want the GC to feel that burden as well

I understand, Never; you want them to have opportunities, but also to have some say in what those opportunities should be - which is why I agree with those who've said to accept the PILs' offer but make sure the money is separate to what you've saving for the DCs

If I could ask an unworthy question, what kind of age are the PILs now? I know you said DD is 11, but I'm wondering just how much ability they'll have to exert pressure when the time actually comes?

GP are clearly control freaks, don’t let them control your children’s money. I had s great aunt who was like that, controlling, divide and conquer, playing favourites, and my dm is going the same way. Let them start their own savings for your dc,but don’t let them interfere with the way you are doing things.

OP I don't know what will happen in the future, but we saved money in a children's saving account for DS, thinking that when he got to Uni age, he would have some money to help with accommodation and food etc, little did we know 20 years ago that Uni would come with costs of £9000 + a year! So what we had saved for him is a drop in the ocean , but it helps.

Also it didn't make any difference to his application for student loan funding, I can't even remember if there was a question asking if you have any savings (for the student or the parent), it literally is paid out according to parents income. Whether this will be the same when your DC are of Uni age I don't know, but at this time my DS's savings made no difference to his student loan. I hope this helps answer your question about the funding for university.

Bear thank you, how long do you watch a fund before declare it a dog? One month, one year? Common sense tells me watch for a year and if no improvement move? Is there a general investor base % we should be aiming for minimum? Current isa in cash is 3.5%

Savings in your kids names aren’t taken into account when getting Uni Loans- it’s all based on parental income.

puzzled their parents were going strong into 80 and 90s...so...

Also they won’t get any government benefits unless they are estranged, have children, SN or the like.
Even if they don’t have a job at uni they can’t claim jobseekers or income allowance.

Ah just seen you did mean loans, ignore Above ^

Goodness, LemonysSnicket, you said what I was trying to say, in one sentence! I obviously need to cut down on the waffling .